Opposites Attract

Constant Fear

*the photo above is Emma Hayden**tumblr profile picture*
•Safe to say she has a different personality online!•

•Emma Hayden• •POV•

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Fear.

Cold hard fear spread through my bones. I lay awake, in Becky's bed. We decided to share as neither of us wanted to sleep on the floor.

I had become a Eccedentesiast, that is someone who hides pain behind a smile. I am a Eccedentesiast.

I lay awake, my breathing increases as memories flood back to me, each hit. Each hateful word which was said. Every thing he did. I'm covered in a thin layer of sweat as my heart beats faster and faster. I'm panting; gripping the bed tightly. The pounding in my head won't stop. It sounds like he's running up the stairs to come get me again. I lay awake gritting my teeth. I'm in physical pain.

Im panting quicker and I feel like I'm having a panic attack. It won't stop. The darkness is closing in and I feel like my heart is in my throat. I started to moan just like each time when he hit me. Scream in pain like its happening all over again.

"Emma!"

I stop. I'm safe... For now.

"Emma whats wrong?" Becky asks scared.

"I-I just guess I was having a nightmare. Nothing... I'm fine." I reassured her.

"Well it must have been a fucking horrible one. You were shaking." She stated.

"Yeah um, I was drowning. Dunno why I... Dreamt that but I did." I glanced at the clock it was 08:09 "I'm so sorry I woke you up too early." I apologised.

"I don't give a shit about that, as long as your alright now. Come on, let's go down stairs and make some pancakes yeah?" She asked happily.

"Yeah." I nodded and faked a smile.

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We spent the rest of the lazy Sunday in her house, first we made the pancakes and ate them while watching the notebook. Then we gorged on some Ben and Jerry's ice cream in the hope of getting rid of the hangover that way. That took us to about 11:43 so we decided to head up and off into town. We stopped at subway and grabbed a bite to eat.

I couldn't concentrate on anything, I kept going in and out of the conversation. Every time I saw someone who looked similar in just one way, my breathing increased. My palms felt clamming and I began to feel like my world was closing in around me.

"Emma!"

"Huh?" I asked.

"Were you listening to a thing I said just then, what's the matter?" She asked me.

"Sorry, I just. Wondered off I guess." I smiled falsely. "What were you saying?"

"Rumour has it that Noah Blair said yes to one of those pathetic desperate girls!" She told me calmly.

A strange foreign emotion struck me. I couldn't tell what it was! It made me feel heavy. And empty. Weird huh?

"Oh..." I manage to say without conveying the emotion.

"Yep!" She popped the P. "But it might not even be true, probably just a lie made up by a girl in love with him." I nodded thoughtfully.

Constant fear.

"So halloween dance comes up in a couple of months! Excite huh?" She said.

"Yeah I guess... What were you thinking of going as?" I asked politely.