REVERIE: Twisted Reality

Day 20: I Wish You Were Real

Alexandria Lennon

I was still tired and sleepy when I woke up. 

'I hardly slept a wink.'

The sudden loss of my memories in my real life kept me up all night. 

Nonetheless, I had a much important problem to deal with. 

It was just a few days ago that I learned and experienced the nightmare surge and now it's about to happen again.

I did my morning routine and headed to the living room. 

The brat said that today's nightmare surge might be different but I was hoping I wouldn't have to face it alone so I went to see Joker.

The last time that I talked to him was during the mansion trip and we haven't talked since. 

As soon as I entered the living room, I saw Joker seated on the couch. He looks like he's deep in thoughts so I went over and tapped him on the shoulders.

"Alexandria! How long have you been here?" He asked surprised. He moved aside to make some space so I could sit beside him.

I sat on that space and answered, "Not long."

"Thank goodness. I didn't hear you come in. I was thinking about something." He reasoned. 

His face looks so empty and sad. It was such an unnatural expression for him. It doesn't suit his face at all.

"I noticed." I remarked. I wanted to know what was bothering him so I asked, "Would it be too much to ask what's on your mind?"

He looked at me with his downcast expression and said, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about the trip last time. I really wanted to make it a more pleasant experienced for you..."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I am supposed to make your stay here as enjoyable as possible, not mope around like some depressed loser." His frustration was evident in his voice. "How am I going to make you smile when I am not smiling myself?" He asked quietly.

I smiled at what he said. I can't believe how much he cares about everything about me that he's so frustrated with himself like this.

'I wondered if there's someone like him waiting for me in real life.' 

I guess I'll need to go back to know. 

I looked at Joker and gave him a comforting smile and said, "Don't apologize. I liked it."

"O-oh. That's great!" He said happily.

I chuckled at how easily he gets happy but he suddenly got shy when he heard my chuckle and his face flushed red in embarrassment.

I smiled at his reaction.

We both got quiet for a moment when he suddenly spoke, "S-speaking of which, I brought you some more white chocolates." He said and handed me a stash of it. "You probably finished the old stash that I brought you, so feel free to enjoy this in your free time." He added.

I looked at Joker incredulously.

I seldomly treated him nicely and was often mean to him. Most of the time I approach him was because I needed something.

Yet, no matter how badly I treat him, he always tries his best to make me happy. 

I just can't wrap my head around how he could endure me and my personality and why is he going to such extents for me.

"The Prince of the Broken Throne must be paying you a lot to keep me here, is he?" I said quietly.

'I just couldn't understand why. Am I even worth it?'

"Please don't think like that, Alexandria." He said with a pained expression. "The Prince and I just want you to be happy, something that you haven't been in a long time. And I promise once your dream world stabilizes, I will take you outside." He sincerely promised.

'I just made him sad again but here he is trying to make me feel better.'

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." I apologized. "It's just, you're being too generous with me. I'm not worth it." I honestly told him.

"Don't say that, Alexandria. You're worth more than you give yourself credit for." He comforted me.

I smiled at what he said. 

'I just can't wrap my head around him.'

"You know, letting me walk all over you isn't exactly going to make me happy." I honestly told him while chuckling.

But he just smiled and said, "It might sound strange, but I don't think I can treat you any other way."

My eyes were looking at him in disbelief but my lips were formed in a smile. 

I averted my eyes somewhere else because I feel like I was getting suck into the warmth of his sincere pair of gray eyes.

"I'm sorry for being so rude the past few days. You were just doing your job and I had no right to take my frustration out on you." I sincerely apologized to him while looking at my hands that were in my lap. I just couldn't bring myself to look at him in the eyes.

His lips gently smiled and he said, "You don't need to apologize. Given your circumstances, it is completely understandable for you to be frustrated. I only hope you will begin to like this place as time goes on."

'That I can't do.'

I timidly smiled at him and stood up.

"I forgot I had something to do." I excused. "I'll come back again later." I told him and started to leave.

As I walked down the corridors, our conversation replayed in my mind. 

I could meet him in both dreams and reality yet still not deserve the way he treats me in either one.

'But still, I wish Joker and I met each other in real life.'