Connected to You. | Hyunsung [Editing]

Chapter 16

[ H y u n j i n ]
[ S a t u r d a y ,  1 7 t h  S e p t e m b e r ]

Hyunjin's brother Keongmin was home. A pretty rare occasion.

All of them were sitting at their table, his brother talking about his UNI, his parents listening with amazement and Hyunjin just thinking.

He hated the times his brother visited. It wasn't that he hated his brother or the time spent with his family – no it was the success of his brother. It was the only thing he talked about. How many girlfriends he had, how much praise he'd gotten, how many As he'd gotten. And his parents? They loved it. Hyunjin had never seen them that happy. Only when his brother talked. It was beyond frustrating. It felt unfair. Hyunjin was good as well. Hyunjin also had straight As. Hyunjin was liked by all of his teachers. Why did no one appreciate that?

Initially he would've been with his friend group now, but his parents had had other plans – of course. He hated that he wasn't with them. The other eight were having fun in this moment while he was sitting here with his parents and brother while listening to some stupid crap Hyunjin did not care about.

"There's something I haven't told you yet", his brother then announced in a mysterious tone. "What is it Sweetie? Have you won something?", his mother asked clapping her hands together out of excitement.  "No, something better",  Keongmin smiled. "Well, spit it out ", Hyunjin's father said. "I've found my soulmate. I met her in a club last weekend, just as my triggers always foreshadowed", Hyunjin's brother finally said with an adoring expression. "Oh how amazing! Those are fantastic news! Let me get some champagne. We have to celebrate that." "We definitely have to meet her as well",  Hyunjin's father added and his mother nodded in excitement.

While his relatives continued on chatting about Keongmin's soulmate, Hyunjin's mind wandered back to his soulmate Jisung. He began to wonder what his friends were doing right now. What Jisung was doing right now. He felt like he just needed to close his eyes and he'd be with them. Just one blink and-

"Hyunjin what about you? Have you finally started getting your triggers? Any sign of your soulmate?", his brother asked, now facing Hyunjin.

Overwhelmed by the sudden attention Hyunjin looked from his parents seated on the opposite side of the table to his brother seated right next to him.

Suddenly the conversation Jisung and him had had, reappeared in his mind. They had met up Saturday one week ago and talked. Hyunjin had tried to explain his fears to Jisung. He hadn't been able to explain everything in detail, but he was convinced Jisung had understood. Jisung had told him in excitement that he'd already told his Mom because there was no way she wouldn't notice and she seemed to be really supportive. Furthermore they had agreed on getting to know each other at first. They wanted to take things slowly and if they didn't want a romantic relationship that'd be okay too.

The thing Jisung managed to do, was making Hyunjin feel comfortable. This decision was mainly built onto Hyunjin's wishes and he was so happy with it. Jisung had been nothing but understanding. It made Hyunjin's stomach tingle to even think about that.

"Hm?", his mother made, reminding him that he needed to answer the question. "Uh yes", Hyunjin blurted out and almost immediately regretted his decision. "What? Since when?" "Why didn't you tell us?" "Do you know who it is?"

Hyunjin didn't want to answer these questions. He didn't even want his parents to know, but of course he had to forget to think and now he was in this situation.

"Uh uh since a month or two?", he finally got out. "You should've told us", his mother said in a disappointed tone. Of course she was mad about that. "Any idea who it is?", his brother ignored their mom. "Uhm no?", Hyunjin said, attempting to hide the obvious. "Who is it?", his father asked.

Hyunjin couldn't answer that. No, that was too far. He couldn't make someone up. He couldn't admit it was a boy. He should have the right to not tell anyone. This was most likely a coming out and Hyunjin was pretty sure his parents wouldn't be as accepting as Jisung's Mom.

"Hyunjin?"

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Tears swelled in his eyes and Hyunjin got up hurriedly. "I can't tell you", he brought out, trying to hold back his tears, then he turned around and ran into his room.

As soon as he arrived he let himself fall onto the bed. He wasn't able to hold back the tears anymore. A whole waterfall was now streaming down his face.

Why was he doing this to himself? Why was the universe doing this to him? Why was this so hard? Couldn't it come later? He hated everything. He didn't want to do this anymore.

Sometimes Hyunjin wished the world would work like a video game. How amazing would it be to just delete some data and restart? He would be able to skip literally anything unimportant like classes or doing homework or social interaction / literally anything because it wasn't relevant to the plot.

Sadly the world didn't work like that. He couldn't switch avatars, he couldn't delete the data, he couldn't skip this interaction.

A knock on the door brought him back to reality. An instinct to hide came over him. He couldn't show his parents that he'd been crying.

"Please leave me alone", Hyunjin tried to stop the other person to come in. It was a wonder that his voice sounded this stable. "Hyunjin this is stupid. Just talk to me", Hyunjin heard the voice of his brother behind his door saying.

He spent a few seconds weighing his options -either hiding in his room and making himself more suspicious or talking to his brother- before sighing and agreeing. "Come in", Hyunjin said, putting as much annoyance in his voice as possible. Keongmin should at least know that he wasn't welcome.

The door opened almost immediately after. His brother entered, a worried expression on his face. He slowly approached Hyunjin and finally sat down next to the younger, who had sat up in the meantime. Silence filled the room and weighed on both of their shoulders. They weren't comfortable with each other anymore.

"What do you want hyung?", Hyunjin asked silently, trying his best to avoid direct eye contact with his brother. "Hyunjin you know why I'm here. You don't have to tell them, but you can tell me", Keongmin said and laid his hand on Hyunjin's shoulder. "Oh of course, I'll tell you everything just so you can tell them hyung", Hyunjin sighed and removed his brother's hand off of his shoulder. "I wouldn't. Why do you get these ideas of me?", Keongmin responded obviously hurt by Hyunjin's actions. "You don't understand Keong hyung. You're always the golden boy in their eyes. I'm not. They will hate me if I tell them about this", Hyunjin gave in. Keongmin wouldn't stop bothering him until he said something so he decided to tell the tip of the iceberg.

There was a moment of silence. Keongmin seemed to think.

"It's a boy, isn't it?", he finally asked. "WHAT? No. No why would it be a boy?", Hyunjin panic lied. "So it really it is one. Hyun, you do know that that's not a bad thing, right? I'm not sure if they'd be as accepting as other people, but I'm sure they wouldn't disown you."

No turning back now, huh? It felt like Keongmin saw right through him.

"I know that it isn't a bad thing. I don't want them to know. I'll tell them eventually, but right now Jisung and I are trying to figure everything out. Besides that, I'm not sure if they wouldn't. They barely talk about this theme, but when they do, it's bad." Small tears had started streaming down his face again. He hated the situation he'd put himself in. "Take your time Hyun. Just know I'm here for you. It might not seem like that sometimes, but I like you", Keongmin said while carefully caressing Hyunjin's back. "Thank you hyung", Hyunjin said and wiped his tears off.

In times like this he actually felt thankful for his brother.

"I'm gonna tell them that it was a misunderstanding. Don't say another word about soulmates, okay?" Hyunjin nodded and mouthed another 'thank you'.

Yes, his brother wasn't all bad.