I enjoy the silence. Its so loud in my life now...
THIS STORY CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT, VOLIENCE , BLOOD AND SUICIDE TALK. AND SEXUAL ASSAULT TALKS
Who knew going to the store would make you disappear forever?
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Zayn
Day 43 without seeing my baby's eyes. Day 48 without hearing my seraphs voice. Day 48 of me losing my fucking mind. Day 48 of being alone.
I've been down this corridor so many times. But yet, my heart still aches every time i walk into that room and see my sweet sweet baby laying in the bed with wires, machines connected to her.
"Hey, my baby," I whisper as i enter the room. I feel like throwing up. I hate seeing her like this. Jade would be so scared. I glance over at the little machine next to her bed, staring at her little heart beating. At least i still have one of my girls. I sit down next to her bed and look at her.
She looks peaceful. I wonder what is going on inside of her head. Can she hear me? I doubt it. But if so then i need to make the most of it. "We are going to start a new book today my princess." I smile at her. God my heart hurts.
I grab one of the books from the pile i have created. I have brought one in every single day. Along with a teddy every other day. The nurses are probably sick of me bringing things with me.
"Goldy Locks and the three bears." Reading to her not only gives me hope but it keeps me going.
This book is the worst shit I've ever had to read, It makes no fucking sense why three bears have a house and they all eat porridge. Like what the fuck is that teaching kids? That there are random bears in the woods that have a house.
But i guess this makes them happy. Gives them that freedom of imagination. I wonder what it's like to be a child. Obviously, i can't remember what it was like. I wish i could just look into her little brain and see all of her little clogs works moving and thinking.
My thoughts are disturbed by my phone vibrating in my pocket. I take it out and have a look. An unknown number pops up. Who the fuck is calling me now? I haven't got anything left to lose.
"Hello." Talking to people has been the least of what I've been doing. Jade's family have just vanished off the face of the earth and my family live in England so there's nothing they can do about my situation. I could call my mum. But would she want to know?
"Is this Zayn Malik?" A woman voice replies back through the line. I don't know why but my head starts to spin at the thought of the day i got the call about Jade and Alyia. It started exactly like this. Apart from i basically told her to fuck off beforehand.
'yes , but I'm not buying whatever your selling.' i half snap before going to put the phone down.
'No sir.' she calls out to me, i raise an eyebrow and press the phone back to my ear.
'Your wife, has been shot in the mall by a gang and. I'm so sorry to break it to you but she has passed away.' My heart drops to my feet and i feel nauseous.
