NAUGHTY TEENS: ORIGINS // Jirosé

Story 7: It's My Fault

JIMIN POV

It's my fault. It's my fault that she fucking died. IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT! 

*sigh*

Why didn't I see the signs? Why didn't I do anything? God, I'm so sorry. I should've been there for you. I should've checked on you. I should've done something to prevent all of this. She would have killed herself if I had done something. And I miss her so much.

"I miss you so much Rosé," tears began to form in my eye. 

Slowly, getting out of the bed, I walked over to the portraits, her side of the room. I was reminiscing at the life before all of this. I was so happy back then, mainly cause I had her, but now I feel like my life is nothing. 

*picks up photo*

I remember this one. This was the time where Rosé forgot her coat. It was a rainy day, so I gave her my jacket, so I ended up getting soaked on the way home. She never gave me back that coat. I smile, looking at it. Anyway, I put the photo down and walked over to her drawers. I opened them up and saw her items in there, some of which I gifted to her. But there was a box I hadn't noticed. I picked it up and opened it. They were filled with notes and letters I hadn't seen.

FEBRUARY 27TH,

Got yelled at by my boss today. He told me I needed to get the reports done by next week. Even though he knows I haven't started last week's reports, I wish I could be happy. I wish everything would change. 

February, was the time where everything began to change. Rosé told me every day that she was just tired and gave her some space. I was suspicious, but not enough to make me concerned. Why the hell did I think she was okay. 

MARCH 14TH, 

Today, I found out my friend Lisa died in a car crash today. I attended the funeral and gave my condolences to her parents. Lisa, you went too soon. You were the one who got me out of my introverted shadow. You were my only close friend when everything was downhill for me. I wish I could be happy. I wish everything would change.

APRIL 3RD, 

Everything is just going down for me. Today, my boss has threatened to fire me and says I lack passion and work ethic, I wanted to lash out at him, but I just felt too weak and cried in the bathroom. I wish I could be happy. I wish everything would change.

Rosé, I'm so sorry. I should've asked. I should've checked on you like a normal boyfriend. Why did you hide this all from me? My eyes getting teary again as I went to the following note.

MAY 15TH,

Doctors have officially diagnosed me with depression. They said I should look at rehab or therapy, but I couldn't afford it right now. I wish I could be happy. I wish everything would change.