Faded Memories|| PJMxKTH ||BTS Fanfiction

PART 18:THE BEACH

She knows about me? I am still confused as to why would Taehyung bring me here and why would he tell this lady about what happened between me and Jimin.

"Y/n,this is Ms Cha,you can call her Ahjumma too.She has been my caretaker ever since I was 2 years old when my parents were too busy handling their business.She joined us soon after. . . .her husband died.Umm,She had an abusive marriage too." 
Okay. . . .I think I know where this is leading to.

I want to yell at him and say that I don't have an abusive marriage.I'm sure Jimin is guilty for what he did to me.

Before I can say anything,he looks at Ahjumma and then turns to me "I think,that's my cue to leave.I'll leave you two alone.I'll be waiting for you outside." He gives my shoulder a squeeze and leaves.

Ahjumma looks at me and opens her mouth to say something but I beat her to it."Look,Ms Cha.Before you say anything.Let me make this clear. I.Don't.Have.An.Abusive.Marriage.My husband has anger issues.He would never hurt me intentionally and I know he feels sorry for what he did."

She ignores whatever I said and stares at me."Do you want to take him back?" She asks.
I don't say yes.But I don't say No either.
She waits for me to answer her.I don't say anything but I eventually give up.May be because a part of me knows that she can understand what I went through.After all she did experience what I did.So I give up and answer hee.

I shake my head, but I also shrug. “I don't know. . . .Most of me feels like I’ll never be able to trust him again. But a huge part of me grieves what I had with him. We were so good together.The times I spent with him were some of the best moments of my life. And occasionally I feel like maybe I don’t want to give that up.”

Tears are already pooling in my eyes.“Sometimes . . . when I’m really missing him . . . I tell myself that maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I could put up with him when he’s at his worst just so I can have him when he’s at his best.”

She puts her hand above mine.I can feel the motherly warmth from her."I know exactly what you mean, Y/n. But the last thing you want to do is lose sight of your limit.Please don’t allow that to happen.”
I have no idea what she means by that. She sees the confusion in my expression, so she squeezes my arm and explains in more detail.

“We all have a limit. What we’re willing to put up with before we break. When I married my husband, I knew exactly what my limit was. But slowly . . . with every incident . . . my limit was pushed a little more. And a little more. The first time he hit me, he was immediately sorry. He swore it would never happen again. The second time he hit me, he was even more sorry. The third time it happened, it was more than a hit. It was a beating. And every single time, I took him back. But the fourth time, it was only a slap. And when that happened, I felt relieved. I remember thinking, ‘At least he didn’t beat me this time. This wasn’t so bad.’ ”

She brings the napkin up to her eyes and says, “Every incident chips away at your limit. Every time you choose to stay, it makes the next time that much harder to leave. Eventually, you lose sight of your limit altogether, because you start to think, ‘I’ve lasted five years now. What’s five more?’ ”

I don't even know when I started crying.It's like I am seeing myself in her.She grabs my hands and holds them while I cry. “Don’t be like me, dear. I know that you believe he loves you, and I’m sure he does. But he’s not loving you the right way. He doesn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved. If he truly loves you, he wouldn’t allow you to take him back. He would make the decision to leave you himself so that he knows for a fact he can never hurt you again. That’s the kind of love a woman deserves, Y/n.”

For whatever reason, I thought I would have to defend myself to her when I came over here. Not once did I think I would come over here and learn from her.