The next morning, getting up for class was painful, but Kageyama managed to drag himself from his bed, shower, and make it to class early. Unfortunately, today's class was not statistics so Kageyama had no expectation of seeing Hinata. He would have to wait until next week to see him again, Kageyama thought with some disappointment, since statistics class was only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesday was four days from now, so no sunshine for four days.
Classes were long and boring, as usual, but at least Kageyama was done by noon on Fridays, which meant he could go back to his apartment and take a nap, which he desperately needed after staying up half the night for the movie.
He unlocked the door to the apartment and walked in to see Suga eating a bowl of cereal at the kitchen table. He must have just woken up. "Hey," Kageyama said.
"Hey," Suga mumbled. "How was class?"
"Okay. Is your migraine better?"
"Yeah, no pain today," Suga responded. "How was the movie?"
Kageyama sat down at the table. He wanted to tell Suga about Hinata but he was feeling a little shy. "It was good. We should all go this weekend."
Suga must have sensed there was more. "What aren't you telling me?"
Kageyama looked up at his perceptive friend and blushed. "Something might have happened."
"Like what?" Suga had stopped eating and was focusing on Kageyama now.
"So, there's this guy in my statistics class and he's always really cheerful and knows everyone. And he happened to sit next to me at the movie."
Suga just raised one eyebrow. "And?"
"And I talked to him. A little bit."
"That's great, Kageyama," Suga said with kindness. He knew that talking to people was something that was always very difficult for Kageyama. But wait a minute. There was more because Kageyama had a far off look on his face.
"What else?" Suga asked with keen interest. Kageyama's blue eyes snapped back to Suga's face and Kageyama blushed again.
"Do you like him?" Suga asked with some surprise.
Kageyama's deep blush confirmed it. "You DO like him!"
Kageyama tried to explain. "It's nothing really. It's just that his smile is really bright and he always looks so happy and I just don't get how people can be like that." He actually looked like he was trying to work out a difficult math problem. His brow was furrowed and he was staring at a nonexistent spot on the kitchen table, lost in thought.
"Well, what did you two talk about? Go ahead and tell me everything." Suga leaned forward to listen.
"Not much. He said I looked familiar and I said we were in the same statistics class. Then he smiled and got all excited and we told each other our names. And then he said a bunch of stuff about the movie and I didn't get a chance to respond before the movie started. I was too slow." He frowned as he paused in his story, remembering how he wished he had said something before the lights went down.
"And then after the movie everyone was kind of shocked -- you'll see why when you see it -- and he just said 'what the hell' and I might have gotten a little distracted looking at his freckles and then he left to find his friends. But he said, 'I'll see you in class' so that's good, right?"
Suga smiled reassuringly. "Yes, I'd say that's really good. I'm proud of you doing all that by yourself. I know it couldn't have been easy. I'm sorry I was sick and we left you on your own. You'll come with me and Daichi this weekend, right?"
"Yes, I... I was a little distracted and so I really want to see it again."
Suga smiled a huge grin. "Why were you distracted, Kageyama?"
Another blush. "Shut up, you know why. I'm going to take a nap. Are we still planning to go to the bookstore tonight?"
"Yes, we are. We know you need your manga fix. I've got class but I'll see you around dinner."
"Okay, have a good day, Suga."
Kageyama went to his room to rest. He was so tired, but he couldn't close his eyes right away. He was too busy thinking about Hinata and his cute freckles and his impossibly bright smile. Okay, so he had a crush. It wasn't the first time. It was just he had never felt so compelled to know someone before. He was drawn to Hinata like a moth to a flame, and he had never felt this way before. He didn't know why he felt it so strongly, but he needed to know him better. Now that Hinata knew his name, would he greet Kageyama in class? Would they talk again? Would Hinata direct that bright smile toward him?
Kageyama found himself smiling at the ceiling like an idiot. He had it bad and chances are it would never come to anything. Even if Hinata were into guys, which was a big if, he would never go for a socially awkward guy like Kageyama. He would want someone outgoing and fun, not someone who is quiet and anxious most of the time.
Kageyama sighed. It was a nice dream, but that's all it was. He was never going to be able to kiss those adorable freckles that graced Hinata's cute little nose. He was just going to have to be satisfied with his fantasies.
He closed his eyes and imagined holding Hinata's hand, like they were a couple. He imagined those big brown eyes looking up at him and in his fantasy, he leaned down and kissed Hinata and Hinata kissed him back. And then, well then his thoughts took a rather lewd turn as he imagined Hinata naked and writhing beneath him. Whoa!
He cleared his throat even though no one was around to hear him and mentally chastised himself for being a pervert. But he couldn't help but wonder, would Hinata be as open and outgoing in bed as he was in life? What would that even be like? He started to imagine some rather unusual scenarios before chastising himself again. He was being a pervert, he knew. He just couldn't help thinking about Hinata. He closed his eyes, his thoughts filled with visions of orange hair and brown eyes and freckles and a bright smile. He was smiling himself as he fell asleep.
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Calm My World [Kagehina]
RomanceKageyama is a college student who suffers from anxiety and depression. He struggles through his classes and any other situations where he needs to be around people. He is fascinated by a very cute, very outgoing redhead in one of his classes and won...