Calm My World [Kagehina]

Chapter 11: Boyfriends

When Hinata closed his apartment door, he leaned against it for a moment, recalling that amazing kiss. His head was still fuzzy and he felt a little sick, to be honest, but he was smiling because of Kageyama. He pushed away from the door and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed.

He crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. He couldn't stop thinking about Kageyama and how much he liked him. When they had been pressed together, Hinata had been desperate for more. More touch, more tongue, more everything. That was how Kageyama made him feel, like he always wanted more.

His thoughts flitted briefly to Yuji and their encounter at the party. When he had hooked up with Yuji, he had moved fast, too fast probably, at least according to his friends. Hinata didn't want to make the same mistake again. But he had gotten to know Kageyama pretty well in the last couple of weeks and he REALLY liked him. He was kind and considerate and had all kinds of good qualities that Yuji did not. Hinata felt like he was going into this with his eyes open this time, but he admitted that tonight, with his head still swimming with the aftereffects of alcohol and the rush from that kiss, that he probably wasn't in the best place to make any major decisions. So he decided to put off worrying about everything until tomorrow. He would see Kageyama again tomorrow, and the thought left him smiling into his pillow as the booze and exhaustion finally caught up with him.

***

Kageyama made the short walk home, alone and silent. Truth be told, he was still a little shaky from that kiss. Being with Hinata made him feel off-balance and he wasn't quite sure how to explain it except, needy. That was it, he admitted to himself. Hinata made him WANT things. Like kisses and touches and all that went with that. Like a relationship. Like love.

The thought was unnerving, to say the least. He had spent most of his life not really wanting much of anything. He had never felt this need before, this desire, this pull. And it was, honestly, a little scary, but also exhilarating.

He arrived home and toed off his shoes before readying himself for bed. He couldn't help but start to worry about his inexperience in all things romantic and sexual. He crawled into bed and laid on his back with one hand behind his head. He remembered the feeling of Hinata pressed up against him, the feel of his hands in Kageyama's hair, the softness of his lips, the way he made little noises in the back of his throat. The chemistry between them was undeniable. Or at least Kageyama thought so. He really hoped Hinata felt the same.

He spent some time worrying that his lack of relationships in the past would somehow hinder whatever was going on with him and Hinata. As usual, the anxiety rooted itself in his brain and he tossed and turned for a while, overthinking, overanalyzing. He didn't know how to be with someone and it never occurred to him that he might possibly just figure it out as he went. Instead, he flopped over onto his side and wondered if he should look up some articles on the internet. Then he berated himself for a while for getting ahead of himself. He had no idea if Hinata even wanted more. He was being an idiot, he told himself. Much later, in the early hours of the morning, he finally fell asleep, his brow still creased from worry.

***

The next week passed in a blur of stress over the project that was coming due and exhilaration at being with Hinata every day. They met at Kageyama's a couple of times and at Hinata's apartment at other times. Kageyama learned that Hinata lived with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima and he got to know them a little. He liked Yamaguchi well enough, but he thought Tsukishima was a little cold and a little rude. However, both of Hinata's roommates did help them a little with their project, so he guessed he could overlook it.

The night before the due date, they were in Kageyama's room putting the finishing touches on their project. They were seated side by side on Kageyama's bed, thighs touching, as had become their custom.