Whole Heart | Izana Kurokawa x Reader

the 1

You've always craved a love that will make you feel warm and cozy. A love you can call home. It's something you knew you'd never have. You knew that's too much to ask. But you still dream of having it. You dreamed despite the reality being flashed in your face.

You hope to love.

As your heartbeat is slowly fading and the lights getting all blurry, you knew that was it. This is the end of your life. It's sad how all the hope you had in your heart is now going to disappear. It's going to die with you.

Death. You were never scared of it. You had no one you're scared of leaving behind. It was just you. So it was fine. But no matter how much you try to convince yourself that it was fine, the pain is still there.

You're dying without ever having someone you can call home.

A warm feeling gently touched your face as you slowly felt your heartbeat. You're alive, that's what you thought. But how? You were clearly lying there in the hospital bed, losing blood. You were sure you were dying. But as you feel the warmth in your face, you slowly opened your eyes.

The light was bright making you blink again and again. As your eyes adjusted, you see bright purple eyes staring right back at yours. It was him that touched your face.

The boy was just staring at you until he realized you were now conscious. His eyes widened and his lips parted a little as he was surprised. You wanted to say something but your voice won't come out. The oxygen mask is also making it hard for you to talk.

A nurse walked in "What are you doing here little one? She'll be fine don't worr-" she stopped talking the moment she saw you were awake.

"Doctor! She's awake! Ms. y/n is conscious!" she shouted as she was quickly checking your monitor.

The doctor soon came in and the boy was escorted outside the room as your vitals are being checked. His eyes never left yours until the door closed.

"Can you hear me Ms. y/n?" the doctor was carefully checking any signs of discomfort you may have.

You slowly nod as you were scared of being in any pain if you move too much. They soon removed your oxygen mask as they confirmed you were fine and replaced it with a nasal cannula.

"Can you speak?"

"...Yes" your voice was faint and dry. You could barely hear it yourself.

The doctor nodded "Do you remember anything? Can you tell us your name?"

As she said that, you blanked out. You tried to remember what your name was, who you were, and what your last memory was.

"I... I don't remember..." your tears are starting to fall as you tried to remember.

The doctor gave you a faint smile as she asked you more questions. She promised to tell you everything you must know tomorrow when you're completely fine. She wanted you to rest since you were in shock of losing your memory. The day went by fast as you fell asleep again after a few minutes.

You stared at your window beside the hospital bed. You still can't get up so you spent the day lying down. You felt like crying but no tears come out. It was as if you don't feel anything because there was nothing to remember. You didn't know if you should be sad because you didn't know if you lost someone or if you had no one at all. That thought keep you awake today as you wait for the doctor to come visit you.

"Your name is Y/n L/n." the doctor smiled "You were undergoing a surgery before you got in a coma for 2 months"

Her words then flashed the only memory you had. The memory of you slowly dying in a bright white room as you thought about dying alone without a home. That was 2 months ago.

"Does that remind you of something?"

You looked down at your hands as you were now sitting down in your hospital bed. It was adjusted so you could sit with support "Yes. I remember the surgery."

The doctor smiled sadly "Do you remember anything before that?"

You stared at you fragile wrists "no..."

"You were found unconscious in the garden of the hospital you were staying at. You have a serious illness back then and it flared up."

She showed you your hospital records in a white folder with the name she said was yours written on it. You looked at the picture on the file. It was a girl with pale skin and dull lifeless eyes. It says it was you.

"So... I was already staying in another hospital before all of this."

The doctor nodded "You were moved here right after the operation failed. Your second operation was done here and it was successful."

"Where was I before I was there?" you asked even though you knew there was no answer to that.

"Ms. y/n... it seems like we can't find anything about you beyond that information."

So I had no one after all. I guess I lost nothing then. Your mind went blank as the doctor informed you about your chronic illness. You didn't want to know about it because it didn't matter to you. You realized that all this time, you weren't even alive, you were merely breathing. You had no home, no life.

And then the boy's eyes flashed in your mind again

"The boy... where is he?" 

The doctor looked at you with confusion but then she suddenly smiled "he's not here right now, but he visits you often ever since you were admitted here. He's from the orphanage beside this hospital."

Orphanage? He's an orphan like you. But why does he visit you? And often at that.

"Why does he visit me? Does he know me?"

The doctor shook her head "He was admitted here too a month ago and he saw you come in. He visits you since then. As to why, I don't know, he won't talk to us."

"He was admitted here too? What happened to him?"

"Well, the little boy got into a fight with the other kids in the orphanage and had minor injury." She smiled warmly at you "He'll visit you soon"

The doctor told you that he was your age, 13, and has been in the orphanage since he was young. The boy's eyes kept glowing in your mind. You slowly nodded and stayed silent again as the doctor went on talking.

'When will I see you again?' was the only thought you had right now.