Whole Heart | Izana Kurokawa x Reader

30

You noticed how Izana grew thin and you knew it was because he refused to eat proper meals during the time you were unconscious. You saw how his eyes are deep, and even now that you're conscious he still haven't had enough sleep.

The reason for that is his fear of all the unknown possibilities. He's afraid that you might fall asleep for a long period of time, or you might be suddenly in pain, and many more reasons. He was afraid that he won't be able to help you again when you needed it.

"Izana, please, I'm alright now. You need to sleep. I'm getting worried for your health too." you said as you held his hands.

You caught him forcing his eyes open when he was clearly in need of sleep and rest.

He smiled and kissed your hands "I know, I'm just..."

Izana let out a sigh as he rubs his eyes. He wanted to say he's worried and he's afraid, but he just couldn't. 

You sat up and kissed his forehead "I know you're worried."

"I am..."

You ran your fingers through his hair as you watched him close his eyes. He really is tired but he's fighting the urge to fully give in and sleep.

"I'm worried for you too. You need to rest." you whispered.

"I'm alright, my Queen-"

"No you're not. You clearly need sleep and you will sleep tonight." you cut him off.

He opened his eyes to look up at you. The more you look at it, the more tired it looks and it makes you sad that this is all because of you.

"I won't stop worrying unless you rest." you insisted.

Because of how sleep deprived Izana was, he didn't have a choice but to actually sleep. Even if he wanted to fight the urge to close his eyes, his will wasn't enough. He planned to take pills but Kaku took all of them away even before Izana had the thought.

"I love you, Izana. Please rest. I'll be just here." you whispered as you cuddle Izana in your arms.

"I love you too, my Queen..."

Izana kissed you before finally resting his head on your chest, with your arms around him. He has always loved hearing your heartbeat as he sleeps. It gives him his calm and peace. A reassurance.

As you watched Izana sleep, you couldn't help but admire him and marvel at his beauty.

You still feel guilty about forgetting him in your dreams. You still feel guilty about how much you affected his health because of your actions. Seeing him so fragile and restless, makes you so sad that you got angry at yourself.

Also, you haven't met the Haitanis since the accident and you're worried about them too. You wanted to apologize to them as well but they haven't visited you yet. Kaku told you that Izana ordered everyone to stop visiting until he says otherwise. When you asked why, Kaku answered that it was because Izana only wanted to keep you away from any possible threat.

At first you worried that you caused a grudge between Izana and the Haitanis but Kaku told you that there was no grudge. Not ever. He told you that Izana blamed no one but himself. His lack of everything.

Those words made you even more guilty. You were at fault but Izana blamed himself. It broke your heart how because of your discontent, you made Izana blame himself.

"I'm sorry, my King. I'm so sorry." you kissed Izana's forehead as you cuddled him closer.

Your wiped your tears in fear that Izana might wake up and catch you crying. That would be a bad thing and you can't let that happen.