Friends of mine.

Chapter Twenty Six

Holy fuck. What the hell happened last night?
I let out a groan as I stretch my fragile limbs, squirming in pain from every part of my body, the rain beats down on the window, I can hear the trees whip around in the wind, probably the cause of waking me up in the first place, and I wish I was still sleeping.
I finally build up the courage to open my eyes, my room is dull and grey but still too bright for my liking, my headache is pounding in the same pace of my heart, I feel as though I'm overheating; I must have done a lot of damage last night... Whatever it was I done or where I was I wish I could punch my drunk self for it, even though I say that every time.
I push myself up into a sitting position, the blood rushing to my head and I wince in pain, running my hands through my hair, I could do with a wash, but it can wait.
I reach to my bedside table, picking up the left over pain killers beside empty beer bottles and an ashtray, they always seem to sit nicely beside each other.
I swallow them down, hoping they'll kick in soon, but for now I have to figure out what the fuck made me get this way. It's hard to to remember things when you get so smashed, I've only got myself to blame, though.
I set the plastic casing from the tablets back onto my bedside table, but something stops me half way, making my face contort into confusion, squinting my eyes at the floor.
A black jacket... A jacket that I know is not mine, but I know just who's it is.
I lift it up, the smell of strong perfume and smoke hits me quickly, the material cold from not being touched all night.
That's right, Nick was here, he came over after we went out, he was a right state, so I brought him back here... Right?
I look around my room, keeping the jacket in my hand as I search around me. I look to the bottom of my bed, the indent within the mattress and the covers pulled over, Nick was right there.
He's never awake before me, surely I would have let him stay the night, there's no way he would be up... Am I getting this right?

"Nick?!"
I call, thinking maybe he might be in the bathroom or downstairs... Something like that.
Yet I receive no response, still holding his jacket and the smell of it is making me wish he was still here.

Why would he leave? He always likes to stay around, mostly because he can't get himself up in the morning without me dragging him up.
I just need to think, last night... Before everything I can remember he came to my door, and I obviously went out with him, probably didn't get anything out of him about what's going on because I definitely would have remembered it.
We went out... A few pubs, a club; I watched him drink and drink, only gradually starting to get more and more scared for him as he did, but I done the same, got pissed so I wasn't alone. I brought him back here, in a bit of a struggle I can recall, he was... being difficult I suppose, I remember getting slightly frustrated.
He looked nervous, scared even. He was a little quiet, I brought him to my room, and he sat down right away, he needed it anyway, he looked so wrecked.
Then I sat with him... I don't remember us speaking, really; I just remember him staring at me, looking into my eyes, I remember getting a certain feeling when he did.
He came closer, very close, so close I could feel his breath on my face, I remember feeling anxious but I didn't want him to move away.
He leaned forward and... Oh no, no no.
No, I must be getting this wrong, right? He didn't... I couldn't have-
Nick kissed me, that's it, he kissed my lips without another word, he kissed me softly but so passionately it took my breath away.
It's all coming back to me, how he told me I was pretty, I blushed deeply, I couldn't hide it, when he kissed me it took every thought out of my mind, I felt as though I shouldn't have been anywhere else.
And I... I kissed him back. I held his face and kept him close to me, I melted right into him and all my worries went away in that moment, I didn't think of anything else but him.
I asked him to stay, I didn't want him to walk in the early hours of the morning, not after that, not after what we done.
I sit up, staring at the wall in thought, not knowing what to do, what can I do? Nick's gone and I don't know why, did I say something that I can't remember?
I have to see him, we can't just leave this, he can't ignore me again, I won't let him, I need to know he's okay.
The rain falls down heavy as I make my way to Nick's house, fear flowing through my veins and an awful feeling in my stomach, scared for what is to come.
Being at his door I just want to turn around and go home, not because I don't want to see him- but I'm afraid of what is going to happen now, what happened last night... It's swarming my head and seeing him won't make me forget.
I raise my hand, hesitating before I knock, needing to take a deep breath before hand.
I knock four times, just how he does so he knows it's me, I need him to answer, I can't let him ignore me now.
I bite my lip, taking a step back as I head the door unlock from the other side, my heart pounding in my chest.
I gasp ever so slightly, seeing the door open the smallest bit and I wait to see Nick, to see his face.
Oh no.
My heart sinks to my stomach, the only thing I didn't want to see when I came here, his eyes are bloodshot and puffy, with tears filling up in them, his face is red and I watch as his body jitter ever so slightly each time he takes a breath.
He's crying... Again.
His eyes meet mine, widening slightly at the sight of me as he keeps the door only a tad bit open.
I stare into his eyes, even the way he is I still can't help but gawk at his beautiful forest green eyes gazing at me, his fringe feathered over his eyes slightly, pretty eyelashes batting at me.
He looks so scared, maybe there's many reasons why, but I'm most definite last night is one of them, we both know we're thinking of it. I can almost feel his lips on mine again.