Friends of mine.

Chapter Thirty Two.

I can't help but just stare at him, his pretty eyes and red lips, my eyes looking at his little beauty mark; he's so beautiful.
He meets my eyes, raising a brow at me.

"You're staring at me."
He whispers, and I can see his eyes study my face, especially my lips as not often are they on my eyes.

"I know, I just... I can't believe that happened."
He tilts his head to the side, a small smile on his face as he thinks of my words.

"You mean that in a good way, right?"
He asks, a small worry in his voice, and I scoff at his confusion, what a stupid question to ask me.

"Oh of course, it's just hard to believe. It's...very new."

"I know, but I don't think you understand how much I wanted that."
I feel shivers up my spine from those words, a smile creeping onto my lips and I can feel my face going red.

"Me too."
I reply, smiling at him before I quickly turn to the bathroom, and the only image I can see is Nick lying there, it all felt like a dream seeing him like that, I still want him to explain.
I keep wanting to ask, I'm building myself up to do so, but I just don't want to upset him and ruin... whatever this is that's happening, because I like how it feels.

"Nick, can I- ask you something important?"
I ask in a mumble, looking down at my hands instead of at him, my heartbeat rabbiting once again.
I feel his stare on me, and I can tell I've worried him.

"Yeah, okay."
I never thought in a million years I would ever have to ask Nick such a question, when I first laid eyes on him, I didn't think this would be in the future for us both. His eyes look into mine, waiting patiently for what I have to say, this is the toughest part of all of this.

"What you done... Was it intentional? I mean- you were in a bad way, did you- want that?"
By the way he's staring at me, I can't tell if he understood what I meant by my words, or if he's pretending he doesn't know what I'm saying.

"What?"
He asks, his voice is a bit shaky and I know he knows what I'm talking about. I feel my throat start to burn up at the fear in his eyes.

"Well I- I'm just scared of how you looked in there, and because of how you were feeling I just wonder if you meant to do it all."

I've never had to do this, for anyone, this was probably the wrong time to talk about this, but it was just killing me not knowing.
He doesn't speak, he simply looks at his nails, biting his lip to stop it from quivering.
I take a deep breath, realising I'd made a mistake, and so I take both of Nick's hands into mine, and Nick grasps onto me.

"Hey- look at me, alright?"
I whisper, and Nick's eyes snap to me, still looking weary.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, I just worry and all I want you to know is that I'm here for you, if you need me."
He sighs, rubbing his thumb on my knuckles, at least that helps me know he isn't mad at me.

"All my habits were because I was sad, but I know better now, I can't take my life for granted anymore," he begins, I can see he's finding it difficult to look at me as he speaks, and I can't blame him.
"I don't take it for granted because I realise the people I have, my mum, John, Simon, Roger. You, Andy. You made me realise I need to be here, because you mean too much to me to let you go."

"Well I'll always try and make you feel that way, I'm here for you, and you're here for me."
He turns away with a smile, and I can see a dusty pink colour now on his face, making me smirk.

"Well, I enjoyed getting sleep. Especially having you with me."
He says, changing the subject around and I can't really blame him for it.

"It was, do I still snore?"
I ask, and he giggles adorably, the sound is contagious, I watch his smile and closed eyes as he laughs.