fear love¹ | rafe cameron

twenty

Barry held his finger in front of his lips and I disappeared from the window by the door, while he sat down on the sofa and I ran to the small window by his bed, pushed the white curtain a little aside and looked through a crack outside as Rafe got out of his car.

I watch every little movement of his body. Be it the protruding veins that were visible over his forearm to his hand or the muscles that were easily visible through the dark green shirt. Every little movement made me go crazy, and exactly this thought kept me from staying away from him.

He ran up the porch stairs where Barry sat filling white powder, probably coke, into little bags and ticking something off on a clipboard.

The window was open a crack, and so I could listen to the conversation between the two, as long as they would not talk too quietly.

He didn't look well. He was wearing the same outfit as yesterday at the Bonfire party. His hair was stringy, and his forehead was shining with sweat. »I'm in. I'll do it« Rafe greeted him with these words, and I looked suspiciously out of the window and thought about what they could talk about, but did not come up with it.

»Good Morning Country Club« He answered and Rafe sat down on the dark green sofa and opened one of the Beer cans that were standing on the table.

»Easy bro« Barry said and took the can of beer from Rafe's hand after drinking it within a few seconds. »Fuck you« Rafe said in a raspy, battered voice, wiping his mouth dry with his hand.

»He will be here next month, everything must be ready by then« explained Barry, while Rafe pushed the white powder to a straight white line with a card lying around there and pulled it up through his nose.

»You've got the money?« and Barry looked at Rafe questioningly and waited for his answer after he wrinkled his nose.

»Look bro, I'll pay it, but I don't have the money right now« Rafe tried to justify himself, but Barry just rolled his eyes and sat down next to Rafe on the sofa.

»Lies upon lies« and suddenly he grabbed Rafe by the back of his neck, stood up and pulled Rafe up to him with a firm grip. »Calm down, Man« Rafe said and held his neck very stiff and raised his hands.

»Three days or the deal is off« he added, and the next thing I saw was Barry, hitting him in the stomach with his fist and Rafe winced after falling down on the sofa.

I gulped loudly and when they both looked at the window, I bent over and covered my mouth.

»What was that?« he asked Barry coughing and they both acted as if the situation had not happened, as if it had already become a habit that Barry would threaten him like that.

Like I said, I will never understand their friendship, and I also wondered what enticed me to sleep here at Barry's home. The alcohol?

While Barry sat back on his sofa and counted out the bags of coke for Rafe, he ran to the window I was looking out of until just now and hid under the window as good as I could and covered my mouth to suppress any noise.

»There's no one, Idiot« I heard Barry say weakly, and I waited until Rafe would go away from the window.

I didn't want to see him, which is why I was hiding, and I knew that if we saw each other than everything would just go wrong, and I didn't like seeing him in such a state. That was my weakness.

Just a pretty good fuck I remembered his words.

»What the fuck, man« Rafe ran over to the door and shook the door so hard I almost thought the plaster was going to crumble off the walls.