fear love¹ | rafe cameron

twenty-six

We left the beach and followed the music that became louder and louder the closer we came to the place, until we stood between hundreds of people who wore hats in the brightest colors, chains that shone and people sipping cocktails.

The women wore scarves in the brightest colors around their hips and tight glittery tops. Everywhere hung chains of lights with bulbs, which shone in different colors. They hung everywhere. Be it on the palm trees, on the small snack stores or they were attached to pillars and hung over one.

The music came out of all the boxes that were in every corner and made the huge square behind the dunes feel with music and made people swing their hips on the dance floor.

Everywhere were small snack bars, be it those selling cocktails, delicious churros or soft drinks. The palm trees were covered with lanterns and strings of lights hung from the trunk.

That was Charleston at night, very different from the day and as I had imagined. Can you say a city that never sleeps?

In the sky the moon was only slightly visible, because it was quite cloudy and in the next few hours anyway the storm from the north would be over outer banks.

I turned around a few times to notice everything and the more I looked around, the more decorations I spotted. But at some point I realized that I had lost Rafe in the crowd and he was no longer standing where I had last seen him.

I spun around again and again, hoping to find Rafe with his black and gray cap among all the heads, but I was unsuccessful.

No one around me looked like him and I started to panic a bit as crowds of people, which were close together, sweating and smelling of alcohol made me panic.

I pushed my way through all the dancing people to escape from this crowd of people so I could catch my breath. I could feel the slight heat in my head and the tears in my eyes.

Crowds have never been mine and it was even worse that I was alone among all the people, everyone pushing and shoving around.

I walked in the direction where the people were getting a little less until I was grabbed by the waist and pulled towards a male body that was whistling after me a moment ago.
I was immediately sure that this wasn't Rafe.

Heat continued to rise in my head as I turned and stared into a strange face.
»Don't touch me« I said tensely and took his hand off my hip and took a little distance as I then bounced my back against another person.

I turned around to apologize until the person looked down at me, grinned stupidly and took a few steps towards me and then I was standing between the two unknown men who I guessed were five years older than me.

I tried to recognise them, whether in high school, at a party or from surfing.
Nothing. I didn't know either of them.

One of them grabbed my arm and pulled me to him as I tried to avoid them. »Stop it, that hurts« I said in a shaky voice, feeling tears running down my cheek and the salty taste at the corners of my mouth.

»Hey!« Rafe shouted, shoving the blond haired guy who had grabbed my arm away from me that some people behind him had to dodge a few steps. »What's your problem, dude?« the blond-haired guy grumbled, giving Rafe an angry look that made me a little afraid he was about to slam his fist into Rafes face.

»Come on let's go Rafe« I said, tugging lightly on his white shirt to get his attention, hoping he would listen to me. But it didn't do any good, which was to be expected. «No« he said, staring into my eyes for a moment with a serious look, and I saw him tense his jaw. »Please« I muttered, but I said it so quietly that he hadn't heard.

»Those two touched you and I don't like the way they are looking at you« he explained, pointing at the two guys while anger was written all over his face and the other two guys were staring at him provocatively.

A small circle had formed around and some people kept listening to the music, dancing and completely ignoring it and the rest were watching.

»I really hate to say it but your little slut is cute« said the guy provokingly and not a moment later he had Rafe's fist in his face and a bloody nose, which looked really bad, where I wondered if it wasn't broken.

Rafe shook his hand and you could tell he was trying not to contort his face in pain.
»Come on let's go« I pulled Rafe by his other hand into the crowd to get to one of the little snack bars so we would get some ice cubes.

I ignored the guy calling me a bitch as all I cared about right now was that Rafe's hand would be cooled quickly.

»Why do you always have to hit?« I asked, rolling my eyes while placing a bag of ice cubes we got from one of the snack bars on his hand which was slowly turning reddish on the bone.

»He wouldn't have understood otherwise« he whimpered afterwards as the cold bag with ice cubes touched his hand.

»Where were you anyway?« I asked Rafe.
»I was looking out for those stupid glowing hats and all of a sudden you were gone« he explained and at that moment a man walked past us with such hats which glowed and sparkled and put one on Rafe.
»And for your girlfriend« he said in a broken English, grinned and ran to the next ones.

We were silent for a short time, because we both didn't know what to say, the man called me his girlfriend.
What were we at all? A few days ago we barely exchanged words or glances with each other and now we fulfill the cliché of a couple.

We both apologized but is it really the right way? The right way that we got closer again?
My body longs for his closeness, for his careful but intense touches and I long for him. For his dirty grin, sometimes his selfish ways.

He has his heart in the right place but he just doesn't quite know it yet.

»Thank you« I smiled shyly and he grinned and gave me a kiss on the head.
»Don't thank me, I promised you'd be safe with me« he mumbled sheepishly and pulled me into a hug with his other hand. How I loved the closeness of his body and his warmth.

We stood at one of the bar tables for some more time, the candlelight flickering and the ice cubes starting to melt, which dripped from his hand onto the white tablecloth.

»I love this song« I said with widened eyes as a Spanish song filled the party space through all the speakers.

This song always reminds me of evenings in the summer when JJ, Sarah, Pope, Kie, John B and I would be on the boat cruising through the marsh as the sun set behind us and the residual warmth warmed our backs.

Without regard for Rafe, I ran to the women who were dancing wildly with their glittery tops and colorful scarves around their waists.

I started dancing along, the fabric on my hip from my black dress, which had little white daisies embroidered on it, spinning along and making my dress look pompous.

The dancing women were holding my hand with them, we were all spinning in circles, it was magical.
That night felt like we were so different.

I felt individual raindrops on my skin until it began to rain heavily. I stopped and looked up at the dark sky, letting the cool drops patter on my face.

My hair became more and more stringy from the rain and with a glance, the eyes of me and Rafe, who was suddenly standing behind me, met.

It was raining harder and harder, but none of the people considered leaving, they all stayed and continued dancing in the rain. Rafe's white shirt was soaking wet after a while, showing his abs.

We danced as if we were the only ones on the dance floor. I felt like I really knew him for the first time, like he was showing his true self right now.

He lifted my hand and his and I spun around a few times until I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me up and we spun in the rain.

»I'm not worthy of your love, Gracie« he whispered after he put me down, my shoes feeling the ground again.
»Yes, you are and you know it« I whispered back.

Everything seemed so perfect, if only I had known what was soon to come for me and Rafe.