The Thief

Duh duh duh DUH!

"Alright I'm here" Peter said as he swung in through the open window and landed next to Cindy. "We finally got him then?"

"Yeah" Anya replied as she pointed to the next room where (y/n) and squirrel girl were talking happily. "He surrendered the minute he saw Doreen"

"Smart man" Peter replied as he nodded his head.

"Speaking of smart men there's something I have to tell you about (y/n)" Anya said with a sigh, she was trying to figure out the best way to break the news.

Meanwhile (Y/n) looked up at Doreen. "So once I get out of here would you like to go out some time?"

"What makes you so sure you won't end up in prison?" Doreen replied with a smirk.

"They don't have much evidence against me and I'm semi-rich" the boy replied with a shrug.

"Sure. If you get away with this then I'll go out with you" Doreen replied as she rolled her eyes, She didn't believe he'd get away with it.

"He's my what?!" They both turned to wall once they heard Peter yell.

"What's that about?" Doreen asked as she turned back to the boy.

"I guess Anya finally told Pete that I'm his son" (y/n) replied with a shrug as Doreens eyes widened.

A minute later Peter and Anya walked into the room, still wearing their costumes. "Did Felicia know?" Peter asked.

"Of course she knew" (y/n) replied as he shook his head. "How many people that genetically pass down spider-powers do you think my mother has fucked?"

"How come she never told me?" Peter asked himself quietly.

"Because you were fucking engaged by the time she had me. She was trying not to fuck up your life you jackass" (y/n) snarled as he looked up at spider-man. "Believe me I'm no more thrilled about this than you are" Peter looked a bit hurt at this but (y/n) didn't care.

"Look..." Peter started with a sigh. "I'm not going to send you to jail" Anya and Doreens eyes widened at hearing this.

"Guess we are going on a date then" Doreen said to herself happily.

"But" Peter continued. "You can't keep doing this criminal stuff. I can get you a job, a place on the young avengers, the champions, the-"

"I want to join the pet avengers" (y/n) replied with a serious expression.

"Uh- what?" Peter asked confused. "But you aren't-"

"I know, but It's the cutest avengers team and i want at least an honorary membership" (y/n) replied as he looked up at Peter.

"Fine" Peter replied as he nodded his head.

"I also want to be a member of the A-force"

"That's all women, they won't let you join" Peter replied as he shook his head. "Nice try"

"Fine then I want to be a member of the champions" (y/n) replied with a smirk. He had reprogrammed Viv Vision, one of their members, so they all definitely hated him. That ought to make it fun.

"Alright" Peter nodded. "Then head home and pack your stuff. I'll ask iron heart to help you move your stuff to the compound"

The next day

"I can't believe you got Spider-Man to not turn you into the police" Riri said as she put down the last of (y/n)'s boxes in his new room. "What's in here? It's huge"

"Viv" (y/n) replied as he opened the box and out stepped the Android of the team.

"You do realize I'm going to have to undo the reprogramming right? She's not yours" Riri said as she turned to the boy.

"I'd beg to differ" (y/n) replied with a shrug. "Now unless you feel like getting naked then get out of my room Riri. I have a date to prepare for" (y/n) said as he grabbed the girl and threw her out before closing the door.

(Y/n) turned to Viv. "Alright Vivian, help me pick out an outfit.

Meanwhile outside the room Riri picked herself up from off the ground. "What a prick" she muttered before walking off. "Who in their right mind would go out with him?"

"That would be me!" Riri turned around to see squirrel girl hanging upside down by her tail from a vent on the ceiling.

"How did you get in?" Riri asked as she looked up at the vent.

"You need to upgrade your security system" Doreen replied for a smile before dropping to the ground.

"You couldn't have just rung the doorbell?" Riri asked. "Or called?"

"Nope. That wouldn't be any fun!" Doreen replied with a smile before walking past Riri. "See you iron girl!" She exclaimed as she walked off towards (y/n)'s room. She knocked on the door a minute later.

"One sec!" (Y/n) called from behind the door. A minute later he walked out in a suit. "Looking good Doreen" he said with a smirk as he looked over her body. She was wearing a semi fancy yet very her dress.

"You're not looking bad yourself Spider-boy" Doreen replied with a smirk before pulling something out from between her boobs. "This is for you" she said as she held it out to him.

"Is that-" (y/n) asked with a smile.

"One pet avengers membership card" Doreen replied with a smile as (y/n) took it.

"This is already my best date ever" (y/n) said with a smile before kissing Doreen. She kissed back as she wrapped her arms around his neck. A minute later they broke the kiss.

"You're good at that" Doreen smirked as she tried to catch her breath. "Really good"

"Well maybe if you're good you'll get some more after our date" (y/n) said with a smirk as he offered his hand to Doreen. She took it.

Five minutes later

The two teens sat in (y/n)'s car. (Y/n) was scrolling through the radio stations before finally deciding on the classical music. "Ooh, fancy" Doreen said with a smirk as (y/n) started driving.

"Nothing but the best for squirrel girl" (y/n) replied with a smirk.

"Duh duh duh DUH!" Doreen sung along to the music. "Duh duh duh duh!"

(Y/n) laughed a bit at the girls goofiness. This was gonna be a fun date.

Word count: 1066