The Thief

Invites

"How long are you gonna keep spying on me? I already know you're here" (y/n) spoke as he looked at the empty water bottle sitting on the desk.

"Just be happy I'm feeding the team bad info. You're my friend, otherwise you'd be in jail by now" Kamala replied as she morphed back into herself. "The team can't know I've been found out or they'll find some other way to spy on you"

(Y/n) rolled his eyes before looking down at the membership card in his hands. It was his membership card for the pet avengers. The only team he hadn't yet been kicked off. "Idea!" He spoke loudly causing Kamala to tilt her head and Gwen to stick her head into the room. "I'm getting Perry the platypus into the pet avengers!"

"Who?" Kamala gave a confused look.

"Would Perry even want to join?" Gwen asked. "That kind of publicity may not go well with being a secret agent"

"Fuck secret!" (Y/n) replied. "He fought Doctor D at comic con in front of a crowd!"

"Valid point" Gwen shrugged. "But what do you get out of this plan? You wouldn't be doing it otherwise"

"You know me to well" (y/n) smiled before answering her question. "He'll be so thankful that he'll need to get us an amazing wedding gift!" (Y/n) laughed evilly after that.

"Woah. That was an amazing evil laugh" Kamala smiled widely. "Gave me chills!"

"Thank you" (y/n) smiled happily. "At least one of you noticed" he glared at Gwen and she just rolled her eyes before leaving.

"That being said-" Kamala started talking again. "The pet avengers are currently full. They aren't accepting new members"

"Oh" (y/n) sighed and fell back onto his bed. "In that case I'll just lay here and do nothing" he sighed.

"Why don't you get out of the house? You still have friends right?" Kamala asked causing (y/n) to nod. "Then go be with them!"

An hour later

"Oh hello (y/n)!" The boy walked through the door and past Doctor Doofenshmirtz. "What an unexpected pleasure!"

"Well I was bored and you're always good company" (y/n) smiled before remembering what he had in his pocket. "Is Vanessa here?"

"Yep" the boy turned to see the girl laying on the couch.

"Great" he nodded before pulling the envelopes out of his pocket. "You two are officially invited to my wedding" Heinz smiled widely and Vanessa quickly made her way over to them. "And could you-" he was cut off as the wall next to the door exploded.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus! What an unexpected surprise. And by unexpected, I mean completely expected!" The oldest Doofenshmirtz turned to the door just as Perry was trapped in a cage.

"Anywho..." (y/n) handed the two Doofenshmirtz's their invitations before walking over to Perry's cage. "Hope you can make it" he handed Perry an invite. The platypus just nodded and made his strange little noise.

"This is so exciting!" Heinz smiled as he opened the invite and read it. "Wow that's soon! We need to go get gifts!" The man turned to his daughter. "Do you still have your mothers credit card?"

"She said not to let you use it again" Vanessa crossed her arms.

"It's for a wedding gift. She'll understand" Heinz waved it off. "Let the last minute shopping begin!"

Perry made his noise again and they all turned back to him. "Oh! Right, you're here now" Heinz nodded. "Sorry" he held up the device in his hand. "Behold! The trap Perry the platypus inator!... I would demonstrate but I already used it to trap you so... yeah... pretty cool Huh?" Perry shrugged. "Ah what do you know. You're trapped and I'm free"

Suddenly another hole was created as a human male burst through the wall. They all looked at him confused. "Who are you?" Heinz asked.

The man gave him a confused look. "We've met before" Heinz shrugged and the man sighed. "I'm agent double-00 of her majesty's secret service. I'm here to get agent P" he pointed to Perry.

"Double-00? Isn't that just triple zero?" Doofenshmirtz's asked confusedly.

"Isn't it quadruple zero?" (Y/n) asked even more confusedly.

"Not this argument again" the man sighed. "That's not how it's said"

"It spells 000 doesn't it?" Heinz asked confusedly.

"Oh!" (Y/n) realized. "The first 0 is an O!" Vanessa groaned at his just now realizing that.

"How did you not hear him say that?" Vanessa asked and the boy shrugged.

"It's double-00!" The man exclaimed.

"Wait" Heinz pointed to Perry. "He's P and you're 000, so together you spell..."

"No, they're not O's, they're Zeroes, alright?" The man looked very tired of this conversation.

"I was just gonna say ooop," Heinz shrugged. "Looks like I struck a nerve there!"

Agent double-00 groaned. "Look. We had almost the exact same conversation last time. I don't have time for this now" he walked up to Heinz and grabbed his Inator.

"Hey!" Heinz tried to get it back but the agent crushed it, successfully letting Perry out of his cage.

"I need to borrow him for the day" the agent walked to Perry. Perry turned to the others and shrugged. He walked out through the holes in the walls and waved until he left their sight.

"Wait! Who is gonna reimburse me for these walls?!" Heinz called after them. "You can't keep doing this!"

(Y/n) tried and failed to suppress his laughter. "I can pay for it" he offered.

"No! I can't take your money. I'll just sue OWCA for property damage" Heinz shrugged. "So..." he tried to remember what they were talking about before that. "So how do you feel about evil?"

"That's a strange question-" (y/n) replied. Vanessa just shook her head and walked away.

"Is it? I'm just making conversation" Heinz laughed nervously

"-but I love it!" The boy finished what he had been saying and Heinz smiled proudly.

"You're like the son I always wanted"

He sighed happily only to hear Vanessa yell "hey!" From the other room.

"But nothing compared to the daughter I've always loved more than I could love any son!" Doofenshmirtz's yelled.

"That's better!" Vanessa replied as she walked back into the room with a book to read as she walked back to the couch.

(Y/n) smiled. "I suppose you're the best father figure I've ever had" it wasn't hard to beat Peter in that department but he didn't say that.

Word count: 1100

(Operation father figure Doofenshmirtz's is go!)