The Thief

Dinner

""Hello gentlemen" (y/n) spoke as he looked at the two heroes. Spider-Man (miles) and Nova.

"Long time no see (y/n)" Nova smiled as he powered up.

Miles was in a crouch position as he aimed his web shooters at (y/n). "Not long enough"

"Still sore miles?" (Y/n) smirked under his mask. "You almost kill a guy once and you're hated forever"

"Oh shut it" Miles shot a web at the boys mouth but he dodged the web.

(Y/n) glanced back at the safe behind him. He hadn't yet had time to open it. "Would you two kind souls mind waiting just a moment?" Both shook their heads. (Y/n) sighed. "fine. Take what you can, give nothing back" as he said that last part he quickly jumped in the air and shot his webs at an expensive looking box on a nearby desk.

Nova was about to fire at the boy but miles stopped him. "Property damages man" miles jumped after (y/n) and tried to shoot his legs with webs. (Y/n) was quick to dodge the webs and jump out a nearby window. Nova grabbed miles and began flying after him.

(Y/n) looked back at the two as he swung. "Hah!" He laughed as nova accidentally hit a bird. "Gentlemen. This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught (y/n) Hardy!"

"What?!" both the other boys yelled back. "Can't hear you! Wind is to loud!" Nova yelled. (Y/n) just sighed and shook his head.

(Y/n) slipped the box in his hand into his pocket. He continued swinging until he noticed himself coming up on the GW bridge. "How the hell can't you catch him man!" Miles yelled to nova. "He's swinging, you're flying!"

"Science and stuff! I don't know man" Nova yelled back defensively. "Something's been going on with my suit recent-" they were cut off by a loud laugh, causing them to stop flying.

"I win heroes!" (Y/n) smirked from further across the bridge than they are. "I'm in Jersey now! Nobody would ever go to Jersey unless they were desperate!"

Nova nodded in agreement. "Yeah... I'm not crossing this border. I've got a reputation to uphold" Miles looked at the man as if he were an idiot. "What?! It's the garbage can of the United States!"

"Fine. I'll go after him" Miles shook his head before getting out of novas arms and jumping towards (y/n).

"Fellas. As fun as this has been. It's not been fun" (y/n) smirked as he shot a web at Miles. He was able to mostly dodge but his foot was caught by the web. (Y/n) swung the boy and threw him into the river. "I wash my hands of this weirdness" the boy quickly jumped away and disappeared by the time nova had flown down to grab Miles.

An hour later

(Y/n) landed in the backyard just as the sun was beginning to go down. He was quick to take his mask off. He then entered the house. "Human? I'm home!"

Gwen quickly appeared behind him and jumped onto his back. (Y/n) laughed in surprise and turned his head to be met with the face of his soon to be wife. "Evening Gwennie" the girl leaned towards him and kissed him.

"Evening (y/n)" she kissed him once again. "I'm making dinner"

(Y/n) nodded. "Well, what's the slop du jour?"

"Pasghetti" Gwen replied as she got off his back and walked towards the kitchen.

"I can finish the cooking" (y/n) offered as he followed her.

"You sure? I don't want you burning the house down" Gwen replied as she crossed his arms.

(Y/n) rolled his eyes. "Yes" he crossed his arms back. "Sit down, Gwen, it lets you use your best part" he pushed the girl towards the table.

"How do you know that's my best part? You haven't seen anything yet" Gwen reminded him as she walked to the table and sat down.

"Just an assumption based on what I have seen" (y/n) shrugged as he walked over to the pot the spaghetti was in. "What a unique device, the human tush. An architectural wonder, one of a kind...actually two of a kind. Designed to support our weight for a lifetime of sitting it also has the subtlety to do the samba. And when attached to certain members of the female species at a time when light summer dresses are worn can cause some of us to drive our cars straight up a lamppost"

Gwen rolled her eyes at the boy but didn't respond.

Once the food was ready (y/n) turned the stove off and put the spaghetti in bowls with forks. He brought them to the table and placed one in front of Gwen. He sat across from her.

"Bon apatite" (y/n) spoke before beginning to eat. Gwen did the same.

They are in silence for a couple minutes. "So what did you do today?" Gwen asked curiously.

"Met up with some old friends. Threw one in the river" Gwen nodded, not bothering to question it. "What about you? How was school?"

"It was fine" Gwen shrugged as she shook her head. "I have an essay to write tonight though"

"Oy vey" (y/n) shuddered at the thought of writing an essay. "I'd be more than happy to pay off the teacher if you'd like"

"Nah that's fine" Gwen waved it off before twisting the spaghetti around her fork. "I'll just stay up late"

"Stay up late? As in not going to bed at the same time as me?" Gwen nodded as she ate. "I can't sleep alone. That's the whole reason for having a wife"

Gwen just shrugged before speaking again. "I'm sure you can make do for a night" Gwen spoke.

"Not a chance" (y/n) shook his head. "Your my fiancé, you're supposed to be doing my bidding"

"I don't think you have a very good grasp on the concept of marriage" Gwen gave him a strange look. "In recent years at least, women have the same rights as men... mostly"

"Huh. Okay" (y/n) nodded with a shrug. "My point still stands though"

"I don't think it does" Gwen soon finished her food. She stood up. "I'm gonna start my essay" she left the room.

"What about me?!" (y/n) called after her.

"Sleep with the cat!" Gwen yelled back.

Word count: 1086