The Thief

Poole

"Have you made any progress (y/n)?" Andrea Sterman asked as she sat across from (y/n).

"Straight to the point Huh? Good" (y/n) nodded with a small smile. He was silent for a moment before finally speaking again to the therapist. "I- I think I'm starting to get somewhere" Andrea motioned for him to keep talking. "I talked to some... friends, they suggested that I talk with someone about it. So since she has nothing but time I talked to my girlfriend"

Andrea nodded. She hadn't expected the boy to be the type who spoke to coma patients but if it works it works. "And that's made you feel better?"

"It has" (y/n) nodded with a bitter smile. "I never really told her much about the last couple of years while we were dating, but now that I've at least told her it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders"

"Good" Andrea nodded with a small smile. She wrote something down on her notepad before looking back up at the boy. "Mind telling me about these friends you mentioned?"

An hour later

(Y/n) walked out of the office building into the parking lot. The session was less impactful than the first but that was to be expected. "Huh, that usually takes you a full chapter. What're your plans now?" The boy quickly turned to see a white teen in a white and pink suit.

"Do I know you?" (Y/n) asked as he looked the girl over.

The girl pulled off her mask and the boys eyes widened. "Nope. But I know you" she said seriously. A moment later she broke into a big smile "can you sign my katana?! I'm your biggest fan!"

"Uh..." (y/n) trailed off. He had a lot of questions: who was this girl? Why did she look like Gwen? How did she know his secret identity? She kept staring expectedly with a large smile. "I suppose so" he shrugged the girl handed him one of her swords and he signed it.

The girl quickly grabbed the sword back once he was done. "The superior Spider-Man!" She read enthusiastically. "So that's what you're going by right now, it's hard to keep track with you. Remember when you used to wear the Wildcat costume and called yourself the black cat? The comments didn't like it but I did!"

"Comments? Wildcat?" (Y/n) asked with a look of confusion.

The Gwen look alike ignored him. "Oh! I'm Gwen, Gwendolyn Poole. You can just call me Gwenpool though"

"Like Deadpool?" (Y/n) asked suspiciously. "Did he put you up to this? Is he trying to freak me out with a Deadpool spinoff lookalike of my girlfriend?"

"Nope. He actually told me not to come see you until she's out of her coma, said it may freak you out" Gwen replied with an innocent smile.

"Well he was right" (y/n) crossed his arms. And surprisingly considerate. The boy thought to himself. "How do you know about me lady?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you" Gwen sighed as she shrugged.

"Try me" (y/n) replied with a shrug. "I've seen some crazy shit"

"Alright" gwen smiled before speaking again. "I'm from a universe where you are just some depressed nerds fanfiction on a shitty fanfiction website. One day I took a bite out of my phone when I was texting on my bagel and next thing I know I'm transported into the story"

(Y/n) was silent for a moment as Gwen looked at him, hopeful he'd believe her. "Yeah... that's bullshit" the boy turned around and began walking towards his car.

"So you don't believe me then?" Gwen frowned with a huff.

"Tell me something only I'd know then" (y/n) crossed his arms. "Something I've never told anybody"

"No" Gwen replied with a smirk.

"No?" (Y/n) asked confused.

"No" Gwen nodded. "You'll believe me eventually"

"No" (y/n) replied with a smirk of his own before opening the car door and getting in. He rolled down the window. "See you around Poole"

"You're not getting away that easily!" Gwen jumped through the open window and was now lay across the two front seats and the boy himself. "We're hanging out"

(Y/n) sighed and waited for the girl to get off him. A moment later she was sitting in the passenger seat with her seatbelt buckled. "Can I ask a question?"

"Go for it" (y/n) sighed as he began to drive.

"How come there are no gay people in this story?" She asked curiously. "Is the author a homophobe? Does he just not even consider gay characters? What's the deal?"

"How the hell would I know? I'm sure there are gay people around" (Y/n) replied with a shrug.

"But characters like America who are usually lesbians are bi" Gwen replied.

"Maybe he didn't know at the time that she was a lesbian. Or maybe he decided that if gay people can write fanfiction that makes straight people gay then he could make lesbians bi. Seems only fair"

"Valid point" Gwen replied with a nod. "Can I ask another question?"

"Last one. Then I kick you out of the car" (y/n) replied with a nod.

"Fuck, marry, kill. Anya Corazon, Cassie lang, Kate bishop" Gwen asked curiously. "I've always been curious who'd be with you if not Gwen"

"Fuck Kate, marry Cassie, kill Anya... twice" (y/n) replied before lowering Gwen's window. He unbuckled her seatbelt before pushing her out the window. "Finally. Peace and quiet"

Word count: 935