"Hoy pre, ayon oh, staker mo, lagi silang nandyan." turo ni Hans sa dalawang babae na pasilip silip sa gate ng University namin, mukha silang taga Ateneo.
Tinignan ko naman ang mga ito, dalawa silang babae, the other one, mukhang sinasamaan lang yung isa, she was reading a book at mukhang bored na bored sa buhay. Yung isa naman, kinikilig dahil nakatingin ako sa kanila, kinurot pa niya ang kasama which earned her a glare. Napangiti naman ako habang umiiling.
My stalker, as what Hans labeled them, we're beautiful, I can't deny that but di ako interesado sa ano mang uri ng relasyon ngayon, med school is already enough to give me a headache.
Every afternoon ata silang dumadayo sa University na pinapasukan ko, dami nilang oras ah, I even caught her pulling her other friend na di manlang nag angat ng tingin at nanatili ang mga mata sa librong hawak, nagpapatangay lang ito.
But then, one afternoon, when they come again, she finally look up at tumingin sa akin, our eyes met but she quickly avoided it and said something to her friend. I do not know pero simula ng araw na 'yon, lagi ko siyang tinitignan, every uwian ay lagi kong tinitignan ang gate ng University namin to see her.
Sobrang gulat ko nang makita kong ka department ko siya. I have no idea at all na Medicine din pala ang kinukuha nila ng kaibigan niya. But it was hard to talk to her dahil mukha siyang anti-social na tao, mukhang masungit rin, ilang beses ko narin siyang nakakasama sa loob ng surgery room but she never notice me.
I was walking one night sa sidewalk ng subdivision namin, hawak ko ang tali ng aso ko, pero napahinto ako dahil tumunog ang cellphone ko, it's Doctora Gonzaga, she's asking me about the report of one patient, dahil medyo natagalan ang pag uusap namin, di ko namamalayang nabitawan ko na pala ang tali ni Haneul, ang aso ko.
"Haneul-ah! Haneul-ah Hane———" napatigil ako sa pag sigaw dahil nakita ko ang aso kong kandong ng isang babae sa tapat ng lamp post, lumapit ako at nagtama ang mga mata namin.
"Aso mo'to? tanong niya at tumango naman ako, I can't believe I am seeing Li now, does she live here also? 'bat ngayon ko lang siya nakita?
But it was my mistake, di pala siya tiga-rito, sinamahan niya lang ang kaibigan niya sa party nila Tim.
I was taken a back when she doesn't even know me, I am not expecting her to know me as the grandson of the hospital owner, I was expecting that she know me because we are on the same department and we were together in so many surgery cases.
I ended up liking her more, her personality, her character, her brain, I love everything about her but it hurt me when she pushed me towards her best friend, my stalker before, I am fully aware of that but I never said it.
Actually, I never tried loving her best friend. I lied, yes, hinahatid ko siya palagi but it ended there, wala talaga akong nararamdaman sa kanya, you can't force a heart to like someone you never imagine to be part of your life. Rina do efforts but I never appreciated them, I felt bad because of that pero anong magagawa ko? my heart wants the other woman.
Sobrang nag alala ako kay Li nang bigla siyang nawala sa outreach namin sa Baguio. I learned that her mother was rush to the hospital and due to that,she need to sacrifice. Mas lalo ko siyang minahal dahil doon, matatag siyang tao, I salute her with that. I tried to play my card as the grandson of the hospital's owner for the first time because I wanted to see her, even just once a week, once a month kaming pumupunta ni Hans sa Cagayan para sa donations, that time, halos lingo lingo na, nag rereklamo na nga si Grace sa amin dahil lagi kaming naroon, parang di kami residente.
I got close with her mother and brother, that time, malapit nang di makapag kolehiyo si Carl dahil wala siyang pang tuition. I told him not to tell her sister that dahil madadagdagan lang ang stress nito, I paid his tuition secretly kapalit noon ang magagandang marka niya. Lagi ko rin binibisita si tita at dinadalhan ng pagkain,I know Li wanted to look after her mom but she needs to work far away for the hospital bills.
Nililigawan ko na si Li bago pa siya mapunta sa Cagayan, di ko lang alam kung napapansin niya ito, I can feel that she want to give it a try but she's hesitating, natatakot siyang sumugal,
natatakot siya sa sasabihin ng best friend niya, pero anong masama roon? nagmahal lang naman siya, maybe unintentional but she never stolen someone's man, I completely rejected Rina, walang kasalanan si Li na siya ang gusto ko.
The car accident happened unpredictably, I was so excited to be in Cagayan but the world never allow me. That accident change my whole life, I was asleep for almost 5 fucking years, and when I woke up, I felt like an empty can.
I can't lie, nagalit ako ng sobra kay Li, I thought she was too much and selfish, but when I saw her in my dining area that night, my anger disappeared just like that, parang gusto ko nalang siyang ikulong sa mga bisig ko. I fucking hate myself dahil ang rupok ko sa kanya. How can I love like this,iba talaga ang tama ni Li sa sistema ko.
Remembering all those memories made me smile a little, at least we pass all those challenges and we ended up together despite of everything.
Hinaplos ko ang buhok niya habang nakayakap siya sa akin, I pulled the blanket closer to cover her bare body, napangiti ako ng makita siyang mahimbing ang tulog, we had a long night in the middle of the paradise, I know that she's tired. Hinalikan ko ang noo niya at niyakap ng mas mahigpit.
Finally, I catch the woman I've been chasing for.
Sa malayong biyahe na aking tinatahak, siya ang naging pahinga ko.
—🌻
