SYMBOLS

CHAPTER 62

"What do you think will happen to the Anawin people now?" Chakotay asked. His words were solemn, a reflection of the account he'd just heard.

"I think that, given a couple of generations, they'll thrive. At least I hope so," Janeway replied.

It was always difficult to predict the course of history, but the eradication of tyranny and oppression from other civilizations had taught her that, given the opportunity to grow and learn for themselves, most societies adapted well to their new found freedom.

"And the Dimar?" Chakotay asked.

Janeway stared at the swing drifting back and forth in the light breeze. She thought of Tayna and then of Zeron. It had been four days since they'd made the decision to hand the High Councilor over to Masson.

***

"A trade perhaps?" Masson had said with a huge grin, upon learning that Chakotay held Zeron captive. "Your Captain in exchange for our High Councilor."

Chakotay was uncertain what he was going to do with the prisoner anyway and willingly handed over the purple robed man. At the time, the offer seemed surprisingly fair.

Masson took a couple of steps backward and planted his disrupter firmly against Zeron's back, before indicating he was ready for transport.

"May your journey home be swift and safe, Chakotay, until we meet once again, my friend, in the presence of our Supreme Creator."

Chakotay acknowledged Masson's words with a smile and a nod of thanks. He knew it was a mammoth concession for any Anawin to allow someone of another race to share in the company of their God.

Then silently, he transported the gaunt-faced guard and his captive back into the Anawin City, followed by all the disarmed sentries and clerics that had once been pivotal to Zeron's reign of terror.

***

"So Commander, what do you think about this latest sign of home?"

Chakotay smiled at her. She had lost the hint of vulnerability that had come through in her storytelling and was back in captain mode.

"Let's just say, it's a sign I could've done without."

Janeway nodded in agreement as she stared up at the blue sky above. "I still find it incredible. At some point in time, a Romulan ship cruised through this very same region of space."

"I just hope it was only one ship," Chakotay returned, but she didn't respond. He caught her far-away look and turned to watch the swing swaying in the breeze.

"You still miss her?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Janeway shook her head. But her expression conveyed more of the truth than her quick response, as he watched her turn away from the playground equipment to look down at the ground.

To him, the little redheaded girl was now just a fond memory. He'd been pleased to learn that Masson had reunited Tayna with her mother and that the child had found sanctuary among the small group of Dimar survivors. But as he looked at the captain, he wondered whether physical distance had lessened the emotional attachment she had forged with the child. She seemed far less at peace with the way things had turned out than he was.

"I want to give you something," Chakotay said. He reached into the top pocket of his casual, open-necked shirt. In his fingers, he held a small piece of dark oval-shaped wood. "I made this for you; I hope you don't mind. It's what I saw that day on the bridge - the reflection in the stars - when I gave the order to intercept the disposal unit. I know we really haven't talked about it, but you must have wondered why I made the decision I did. Questioned my decision even, especially after all the events that followed it." He turned the dark wood over so she could see the intricate image he'd carved into the wood.

"It's beautiful," Janeway replied.

"It's a mountain lion. The stars took on the shape of a lion. That probably doesn't make any sense to you," Chakotay said.

"I'll admit, I don't understand your spirituality, but I do respect it," Janeway said.

Chakotay smiled at her as he searched for the right words to explain the meaning behind the token.

"Universally, the lion signifies courage, but among my people it means so much more than that. The lion is a symbol of family. It represents strength. It's also the symbol of protection and guardianship. It seemed like an accurate reflection after everything that happened this week. It made me think of you. You are so much like the lion... Also I thought you might like something to remember her by. A memento, if you like. Seeing as you didn't get to say goodbye."

He placed the piece of carved wood into her hand and closed her fingers around it. He hadn't meant to take her to the verge of tears with his words or his gift.

"Thank you," she managed, not making eye contact as she clutched the object tightly.

A long, silent pause followed her words. He could see she was struggling; her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Chakotay knew what he wanted to do. He just wasn't sure how she'd react to him putting his arms around her. And he knew what he wanted to say - 'with or without her, my offer still stands' - but he'd steeled his heart to the idea of moving on. So he did nothing and the uncomfortable pause continued. It was the kind they rarely shared on Voyager, and instantly he knew that encompassed in the long silence were all the words they would have spoken and actions they would have taken, if they hadn't been so wary of rehashing over what he suspected had become unspoken territory.

Janeway shook her head at him. A single tear drifted down her cheek. She sniffed a couple of times and then quietly wiped her fingertips over her eyes.

"I thought I was over it. I guess... not quite," she said. It was a rare moment when Kathryn Janeway put aside her captain persona.

"You know, the only person who expects you to be invincible is you," Chakotay replied looking straight into her eyes. He smiled at her and paused, before grinning mischievously. "And maybe Harry Kim. I mean, you are his first active-duty Captain. You're definitely up on a pedestal. The way he ripped off his shirt..."

Janeway laughed.

Chakotay was pleased he'd found a way to ease the tension. He began to unpack the picnic lunch he'd made. Some habits were hard to break.

Janeway rolled on her side, propped her head comfortably against her left hand and stared up at him. She watched him lay out a couple of plates and lift two wine glasses from the picnic basket. Lost in thought, she stared off into space for a moment. Suddenly a grin spread across her lips and she coughed lightly to get his attention.

"So Commander... you have the utmost respect and admiration for your captain, do you?" she asked, with her eyebrows raised cheekily.

Chakotay chuckled with the revelation she'd been standing behind him and Paris for quite a while outside the cave.

"You know I do," he finally returned and felt his face flush a brighter shade of pink, before hastily, he returned his attention to the two glasses in his hands.