it was all just a scream for help.

thanks and sorry.

word count : 1791
TW : mention of calories, disordered eating ??

It's been two weeks since Clay realised, I  haven't hung with Karl and Sapnap alone without him, not that I care. He is cool but I always feel anxious and tense around him. I'm always on edge when he hints self harm in front of the boys, but my Mum likes him a lot.

I've been telling the boys I eat heaps at home, lie. And I've been telling Ana and Mum I eat with the boys. Lie. It's not like I haven't eaten at all, I do eat. Just less. I'm not doing it for anybody to notice anymore. I started liking when the numbers on the scale go down.

"Are you sure you've eaten hun ? You look pale," my mum said, I nod, "Go change out of the hoodie," she said laughing, I laughed as well. I noticed i'd lost weight. My jeans fall at my hips. My sleeps gotten better, I sleep whenever I get home. I'm behind on homework, just the past few days.

"Nick's buying me breakfast," I said, placing my books in my school bag, she nods and smiles, handing me a mug of coffee. I drank it quickly, knowing the boys would be here soon. Sapnap picked Dream up after me in the morning, it only started this Monday but its better than his Dad having to drive him then he rocks up late.

"Hey Dream" Karl shouts out the window he runs up to the car, throwing his backpack through Karl's window and opened the door to sit by him. "Morning," he said smiling, I turn to face him smiling, he smiles back. I've been thinking alot in the past few weeks maybe I'm not as straight as I think, his eyes sparkle in the glimpse of sunlight.

I felt like I was going to throw up not long after we got to school, before first period, "Hey man, i'll drive you home," I shook my head, as much as I wanted to go home he had a test. Dream looked concerned, "i'll drive him back?" Sapnap nods and hands Dream his car keys. I look up at him as he starts to stand from the table, "you sure?" he nods. Karl was clung to my side but he finally lets go and Dream gives me a hand up.

"Stop doing this to yourself." he said as we walked inside my empty house, I roll my eyes, "go lay down i'll make you a sandwich," I laugh, he eyes me down and I go upstairs without a fuss.

He came into my room with two plates stacked and apples cut into a bowl, he set the apples between us and handed me a plate with a sandwich on it, "gonna eat with you, okay?" he said quietly and laid beside me. I nod and rest my head on his shoulder. He pointed to the TV remote, I pass him the remote and laid back into his side.

He nudged me a bit and I took a bite of the sandwich again, he smiled at me and checked his phone notification, I looked over his shoulder reading the notification

KARL !!
Hey, i texted george's mum :) he okay?
hope he feels better, get him to sleep and come back to school whenever and sap and will go look after him.

I whined when I read the last bit, I liked being with Dream, he seemed to understand how to help me. "Do you want me to go?" he asked and I shook my head biting into the sandwich. He looked down at me and smiled softly. "Okay.. I'll stay," I look back up to the TV as he typed a response I forced myself not to glance at.

"Have some apples?" he encouraged and I nodded, "i'm proud of you," he said rubbing his shoulder. I nod, and took an apple from the bowl, I looked at him, he was looking at the TV, clearly trying not to make me uncomfortable. I take his hand and put the apple in it and grab myself another.

"Want me to eat with you?" I nod and he looks back up and bites into the apple. "Thank you Clay," he hums and I stare at him, I have been for a while. He looks so pretty, "yes George?" he says without facing me at all, I laugh and he faces me, "your more fun when you don't look like your dying you know that?" I groan and cuddle to his side.