it was all just a scream for help.

new normal.

thanks for >1K reads <3
wordcount : 1050
TW : eating disorder.

I laughed with a huge smile spread across my face when I place down my last card, I win. First time I have won Uno against Niki and Tubbo. They smile and chuckle.
"I win!"

"Last round! Tell me the plan when your home?"

"It's different, no school for a month and then I can ease my way back in. Therapy 3 times a week, journaling, meditation shit and just hanging out with my friends,"

"Will you visit us?"

"Of course, i'll text you both a lot as well,"

"How do you feel about eating?"

"Honestly i'm scared.. but it's fine my mum gets it now and Clay has always been good with it so I don't know.. better than before?"

"At least theres some improvement?"

"Hi Karl!" Tubbo says facing the door, I turn go face the the door, Karl is standing with a smile, I stood up and walk to the door he stood with open arms, he hugs me tightly,
"hey, Sapnap's going to be here in an a few hours, you have to eat and pack, want to stay in here for a bit though?" I nod. I take his forearm and pull him to sit by me on the beanbags by Tubbo and Niki.
"We were talking about how everything is going to go when I go back home,"

"Oh yeah? Recap me then would you,"

"He has to visit us!" Tubbo says, white teeth showing as he stacks the uno cards into a neater pile.

"I think we would all want to visit you too," Karl says leaning forward, clasping his hands together over his knees.

"And a month without school,"

"but you won't go back full time even after that? Isn't that what you said,"

"Yeah just a class or two a day until I'm ready.."

"Where are you guys going after this?"

"Clay and Nick are setting something up and they're picking us up after he has some lunch and we finish packing up whatever is here?"

"What is it?" Niki asks,

"They won't tell me 'it's a surprise'" I mock.

"You will like it I promise!" he says assertively.

I turn back to Tubbo and Niki, I walk over and hug them both individually,
"thank you so much... i'll come see you next week?" they nod eagerly and smile.

"Finish your sandwich, i'll start packing your things?" I hum.
"Is this yours?" he holds up the lightning cable, I shrug,
"probably not to be honest, but i'll take it," he laughs and rolls it up to put in the backpack,
"he starts to go over to the drawer by the small closet, I rested my head back.
I stare at the sandwich, plain cheese and ham with a muffin on the side with some juice. I stare at the plate, Karl looks up at me, I felt him staring, I look up at him. I bite my bottom lip, he gave me a soft smile, he visited me the least — still a lot but he had no idea what to say. I rip off a bit of the crust from the bread and take my phone in one hand, turning it on to message Dream.
"George.. Are you alright?" he asks putting my things down and just looking at me worried. I nod and put the small bit of crust in my mouth.

DREAM

I can't eat.
When can you come?

Were about to leave and it's a half hour drive.
isn't karl with you ??

i want you here

love it will be a while
can you atleast try a bit
i'd be so proud if you even just had half

okay

how about you and karl watch a movie ?

no it's okay
i love you

i love you too
try to eat please.
see you soon x

—————

I turn my phone down. Karl was clearly trying not to stare at me. I pick up the muffin and break off just a small part of muffin, I shut my eyes and rest it on my tongue. It stayed in my mouth for a while until I was able to bring myself to swallow, I open my eyes to see Karl looking at me.
"Sorry.." he looked away awkwardly,
"Can I help with anything?" I shook my head and picked at the muffin tiredly.
"I just need a bit of time," I said he nodded and placed the packed bag at the end of the bed, he sat beside me. I lent into his side.
"Karl?" he hummed and fixed his hair,
"Will you have half of it?" I looked up at him and he reluctantly nodded.

"Are you happy to go home?" he asked, taking a bite of his half of the sandwich, I pulled the ham out of the sandwich. I bit into it.
"I guess so, I don't want my Mum too push me too hard — she went to a couple group therapy sessions for parents of kids with eating disorders so maybe i'm only overthinking this." He nodded quietly,
"You know I'm always here for you. I know both the boys probably told you that heaps but I just haven't wanted to make any conversation that would be uncomfortable at all. But I guess i've realised we have to have some uncomfortable talks.." I smile at him and put down my last bit off sandwich. I hug him tight. He rested his chin on the top of my head,
"I know we aren't as close as you are with pandas and dream but you are my best friend," he chuckle quietly,
"We are close. Shut up Karl," he smiled as I pulled away.

"Georgie!" I turn to look at Dream and Sapnap in the doorway, I smile big and stand up to hug Dream tightly.
"Hey love," he said rubbing the back of my head, I hummed into the crook of his neck where my head comfortably rested.
"Are you ready to leave?" Sapnap asked while I pulled away from me and Dream's longer, I hugged Sapnap, he patted my back and I smiled softly and left his grip.
Dream looked over at the plate and back at me,
"Karl halved with me," he nodded.

"I'm proud of you, now let's go sign out?"