Always And Forever | The Originals

29: Drowning In Grief

LUNA'S POV

I gripped Damon's ring that was attached to my necklace. I moved it along the chain as I looked ahead. I couldn't look at Stefan. I couldn't look at anyone really. I was staying at the school. The bar burnt down. My house exploded... I had nowhere else to go. "My brother." Stefan began his speech to honour Damon. "He was many things... He was-" I couldn't listen anymore. I couldn't sit here and listen to people speak about him in the past tense. He was this. And he used to be this. He still is. For me, he's still here and I can't keep listening to it. It's too much. 

I walked out the hall where we held the service, Damon wouldn't have wanted it in a church, he's not that type of person. "Luna?" Ric questioned me and I turned to face him as I was already halfway down the hall. "Did you want company?" He asked me. "I'm just gonna go to my room," I tell him and he nodded. "He'd understand," I assured Ric. "Huh?" "If you can't stay in there, he'd understand," I told him, his face softens slightly. "Bourbon on the top shelf behind the painting in my office," I told him before leaving. 

I had to work from here so Ric gave me one of the empty offices, I needed to get the bar up and running. That place was Damon's pride and joy and I'd die before I let the bar disappear. I currently had a team of builders in there doing the renovations, putting in new structures making the place safe. I had stock ready to be brought in when it's up and running so we can open the same day. 

I laid on my bed facing the picture of Damon. I spent a lot of time looking at it. Remembering every moment we had together. It was one of the rare photos I had, Damon was smiling, his eyes crinkled in the corners from where his cheeks pushing them. His, white straight teeth were on full display, he was teasing me and he found himself so funny. 

"I miss you," I tell the photo. I wish he was here. I wish that a lot. In the past three days, I think I've made that wish 4 million times. My every thought is I wish he was here. He'd know what to do. He'd know what to say. 

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"Hey, Kiddo," Ric said as I entered his office. I leave my case outside and enter the large office. "You heading out?" I nodded sitting on the chair in front of his desk and wiping my hands on my tights. I felt hot, clammy. "You good, Luna?" I nodded. "Yeah... Yeah, I'm good." His eyes went to the ring around my neck. I instinctively wrapped my hand around it. "The manor ready for you to move back into?" He asked. He was worried about me. He keeps checking in. He told Nik Damon would never forgive him if he let something happen to me. "No... I'm going to stay above the bar... Too many old memories." I admitted looking down at my lap as tears filled my eyes. "You know you can stay here for as long as you need." "Too many memories here too," I say locking eyes with his. 

"When I'd stay with Hope he would sneak in and we'd go up to the roof." I smiled remembering the few times he did that. Ric chuckled. "Was never one for curfews and rules was he?" I shook my head no. I fought with myself to hold back my tears. It felt hard to keep them at bay, really hard. "I really miss him... I don't know how to do life without him." I let the tears cascade down my cheeks. "I need him, I need him," I admitted. "And I can't... I can't go on like this." I wasn't in control of what I said. Words just spilt out of my mouth and I couldn't stop them. "I don't want to do this anymore." 

ALARIC'S POV

I wrapped my arms around her. Everyone. And I mean everyone had broken down in the past three weeks. Luna's had been pending. But she was there patching everyone up after they break. Hope was back in the dark place she was in when her parents died... I think it all had hit her again. And she was blaming herself for Damon's death. Luna has told her countless times it wasn't her fault but she doesn't believe her. I think she needs her parents but that's one thing no one can give her.