just a bunch of Sterek fluff (oneshots?)

Bedroom Ceiling

WARNING YOU MIGHT CRY

A/N: this song inspired this sort of, these are sort of my feelings I guess but in Stiles view, and supernatural and with something I dont have

he lay there on the floor, he covered his mouth as he stared at the ceiling above him, the tears filled his eyes as he tried to push down the urge to cry from everything that's happened with his life, he finished school, so did Scott his best friend, Scott's left to his own wonders. "I don't know what he's doing now but I wish he was here" he mumbled up to the ceiling as the tears started to spill, "I couldn't save my father, and now my life is crumbling, the pillar that supported my life has fallen and I feel like everything is caving in" Releasing a shaky breath he tried to compose himself as his body shook from the cry that escaped passed his lips "why is it so hard, why did I have to be left behind, why do I feel so alone" he choked on his words trying to keep his breathing even but every breath felt like such a burden, "am I a burden, I feel like one to myself, am I to them"

Reaching for his phone he scroll through the contact list hovering over his fathers name just wanting to hear his voice again knowing that's not going to work, the man barely used his phone let alone set up his own voice mail, glancing passed the screen he looks up at the ceiling again "he said he wouldn't leave me alone, yet here I am, dad you left when you promised you wouldn't" sighing he dropped his phone to his chest as he just let the tears fall "you said you loved me" he believed it, but at the same time why did he not want to, he wipes at his puffy eyes as he cried more, he closed his eyes "you didn't deserve to be taken like that"

When Stiles woke up he woke up in his bed a note by his table reminding him to get something to eat and drink, he stared at the note before crumpling up filling his stomach with nothing more then water and his fathers favourite snack despite his dislike for it hoping to get at least a little closer to the feeling he had when his father made him try it to of which he screwed up his face as his father bellowed with laughter, he just went back to his room after that remaining to stare at the ceiling he deemed fit enough to be his new therapist as he leaned against the side of his bed "they shut me out, you know, it wouldn't be so hard to just talk to me then about me" he sighed "no one listened to me when I spoke, it was almost like I was invisible, maybe I really was" shaking his head he let out a bitter laugh "poor little sheriff son, loosing his parents a such a young age" he said mockingly "he has no hope with his problems" he clenched his fist, he was angry, he wasn't angry with what they said he was angry at how true they where, no one wanted him, he fought everything in his power to stay awake that night to evade the dreams that keep digging at the painful memories that leave him as alone as he is today. he failed

he woke again his eyes felt like he had been punched a dozen times, he didn't bother getting out of bed this time, he just stared up at the ceiling ignoring the fresh note that was on his table, he just let the tears fall tasting the saltiness of the old and fresh mix as they graze against his lips, "least you listen to me" his voice was barely a whisper as he just shut his eyes and cried the rest of the day away, he didn't move only when he needed the toilet before he curled himself back into his bed as he cried continuously, he wasn't sure how much longer he could cry for but he wish he could stop.

today he messaged Scott asking if they can talk, he didn't tell him what happened, he thought Melissa would have at least told him, he got a message back saying sorry Bro I can't talk right now, maybe later, stiles ran his hand through, he didn't know what to do, he already wanted to let go and leave, he did what he did best and tilted his head up to the ceiling "see, no one want's to listen to me" he wiped his eyes and smiled a smile that didn't reach his empty eyes "even you didn't want to listen dad, hope you taking care of mum up there"

"I'm sure he is" Stiles head darted to the corner by his window "I bet he's having all the steak he can eat, because his troublesome son wouldn't let him eat any while he was on this dreadful planet" the fake smile twitched slightly into his eyes as his tears fell harder as he stared at Derek "he wouldn't want you to beat yourself up about it though Stiles, this isn't your fault, or his"

Stiles lips trembled as Derek made his way over wrapping his arms around the broken boy as tears fell from his eyes "he loves you" Stiles just nodded as he clung to Derek crying "they both do" Derek Spoke softly stroking the boys unruly hair "how long you been here" Stiles voice was dry, weak and almost no sound, Derek thanked his werewolf hearing at this point laying down with the boy that clung desperate for someone to see him, to hear him "the whole time" he spoke softly at the sniffling boy that just clung tighter

Stiles was sure he dreamed the whole thing when he woke up in bed alone, but there was still something warm in the sensation of waking, he got up and trudged his way down the stairs to get a drink after 2 days of not moving from his bed other then for the toilet at wetting his dry mouth with the tap water, "I made you something light to eat" Derek spoke softly as the boy stepped into the kitchen, Stiles clutched his chest to the surprise of Derek still being here "are you really here or am I dreaming" Derek smiled softly "I'm really here, Stiles nodded and sat down, poking at the bowel of soup that Derek had on the table "why" he asked quietly and Derek once again thanked his werewolf hearing "when I lost my family, all I wanted was someone to listen to, I know how hard is is Stiles"

Stiles couldn't help but feel bad for Derek, Derek took Stiles hand in his "Laura did that for me, she knew everything from what happened to paige, from how I thought I could trust Kate, I wanted to pay her back for the kindness so in a way I'm carrying on her kindness to you, because you deserve someone by your side Stiles" Stiles was to busy fighting back his own tears to see how hard Derek was fighting his own "you lost more then me" Stiles said with a choke on his wording "I don't deserve this, I'm worthless"

Derek shook his head disagreeing "no your not, you are so much, and all you need, is a helping hand, bringing the boy into his arms Derek let out a shakey breath "even if you are hanging over the edge of a cliff, theres always a way to pull you back" Stiles dropped his head "even if I'm not holding on" Derek grip tightened slightly "because I'm not letting go of you"

A/N: I cried so much writing this, and I have lost both my parent's and I constantly wondering what I done wrong, sometimes I even wonder why I haven't fallen it's when I look up at see all my friends and family that I realise even if I'm not holding onto the cliff, I'm hanging on because of the people I love, because they have a hold of me, they are willing to try and pull me from that dark place no matter how desperate I want to fall