13 walking to 19

Realization and Regrets

As I get older and write further into the later part of my teenage years, I feel like I'm becoming more boring. This might be the chapter before the last chapter of this book.
This chapter is about realization and regrets, just like the title suggests. I think as you get closer to your twenties, you start to feel a little strange. You feel like you're getting older, which is both true and not true, because let's be honest, 20 is still so, so young. But that's just the way it is. We get a little scared, imagining and thinking about the future, which seems far away, yet feels so close.

I hear a lot of 19-year-olds complain about leaving their teenage years behind. Perhaps you feel or felt the same way? Sounds relatable? Well, I felt like a big load suddenly found its way to rest on my shoulders. So many responsibilities and expectations from others, especially those close to you. All of a sudden, I was faced with a lot of bills to take care of. Co-workers don't see you as a kid anymore because your work actually plays a part in the company's success or failure in some way.

One thing that saved me from drowning in the constant worry about my future was my second part-time job as an English teacher. Oh, how I fell in love with this profession. I could see myself in almost every kid I interacted with. I loved teaching. It was, and maybe still is, my passion. It gave me a reason and the strength to temporarily pause my fast-moving life and focus on my students. I was involved, engaged, and focused even though I didn't have to be. Even though it was just a part-time job, I wanted to be more than just their English teacher. I wanted to be the teacher I wished I had when I was a student—the teacher I longed for when I was a little kid wondering if any teacher ever truly cared about me. I wanted to be that teacher for them, and partially for myself as well.

I'm not writing a book or chapter about being a teacher, so I won't dwell on it. But I just want to say how thankful I am that I was able to end my teenage years with a new beginning as a teacher. I walked into adulthood as a 20-year-old, a big sister, daughter, and friend. But the part I loved most was being a teacher to 50 kids with 50 different lives and personalities.

Realizations as I look back at my teenage years:1. It's okay to make mistakes.2. No friends? The right ones will come at the right time.3. We are all intelligent; we just have to pay attention in class and review our notes.4. A perfect daughter/son does not exist. It's all just an act. It's not REAL.5. Parents do give the best advice, at least better than "friends." Trust me, they know better.6. You are 99% not going to marry the "love of your life" from 7th grade.7. One-third of the people you talked to in middle school or high school will stay in your life afterward.8. It was all God. If not, I don't know where I would be now.9. Exploring is okay, but don't trust strangers.10. Social media is mostly an enemy, definitely not a friend.

Regrets:NOTHING.No, I'm kidding. My regrets are...

NOTHING.
There you have it—I've got no regrets about the way I lived my teenage life to the fullest.I am thankful to God for letting me get through it without getting killed. Okay, whether you are a teenager or not, I'm about to reach the final chapter of this book, and I'm pretty sad about it. I'm not sad that I'm no longer a teenager, but I'm sad that this book, which I started in 2020, is finally coming to an end. It's been so interesting reminiscing about the good and bad times, reaching out to people to ask for clearer details.

In the meantime, sit back, relax, and enjoy the last cup of my teen tea.