Let's Pretend We're Numb

Ch. 25

Jasmine
One Week Later...

So far me and Kentrell have been on three dates by ourselves, and he has yet to kiss me. I'm not saying I'm desperate for him to, it would be nice if he just did it, but he's very sweet and charming and he's probably just now getting use to dating again.

Hell, so am I.

I smile as he grabs Jaiden out of the car for me and carries him to my front door. He's never been in my house before, and the thought makes me bite my lip, nervous on whether I should invite him in or not.

"Um, I know the boys are tired, you guys can stay until they wake up from their nap?" I suggest, and I'm surprised when he smiled cutely and nods.

"Okay, sure." He murmurs, I nod then unlock the front door and push it open for him, and I turn and go back to the car and take out Noah. It makes me feel warm inside when he tightens his little arms around my neck and buries his face in my hair, just like Jaiden does. I step inside the house and kick the door close, then watch as Kentrell looks around subtly curious.

"Um..."

"Oh! His room is upstairs, just follow me."
I mumble embarrassingly and start walking up the stairs.

I feel like he's looking at my ass.

Jasmine, stop!

I shake my head to clear out the wayward thought and finally reach the top and quickly walk down the hall and then into Jaiden's room.

"You can lay them on the bed. It's a queen size so it's big enough." I say quietly and we both gently lay them down and cover them up with the covers.

"Thank you." He says softly, and I smile and wave my hand.

"Oh, it's nothing." I murmur, then blush brightly as he grabs my hand and leads me out of the room.

I'm still not use to him holding my hand.

We walk slowly down the stairs, and he stops, not knowing where to go next, so I tug on his hand and he follows me into the living room where he sits down comfortably on the couch and pulls me down with him, causing me to end up on his lap. I giggle like a school girl and blush brighter as he places a gentle kiss on my forehead.

This I am not use to as well.

He's barely ever bold with his actions and feelings towards me.

"So Jasmine, is Jahseh alright with me being around yet?" He asks, and I blink slowly letting that question simmer in my mind.

By our second solo date he knew everything there was to know about Jaiden's dad and I knew everything there was to know about Noah's mom.

"He's still salty about it, but I'm letting him see Jaiden this Saturday, so maybe we'll see how that goes and if he's lightened up a bit." I yawn a bit and feel safe as Kentrell pulls me closer into him.

"What about Alison?" I ask quietly, instantly hating the girl ever since I realized the bruises on Noah's arm were from her. Kentrell tenses underneath me and blows out a deep breath.

"She's pissed. I mean, she already hates my guts and now for me to have another woman around our child, she livid and I think she actually wants to take me to court, but she know she'd lose all rights to see Noah." He breathes out calmly, and I snuggle into his chest a little.

"Why won't you just take her to court, Kentrell? She's sucking you dry of money that she doesn't even use for your son, and when she is with him, she's abusing him." I say softly, hurting from the thought of anyone hurting Noah, and Kentrell sighs heavily.

"I-I can't just do that to her. Besides, when I found out she was pregnant I was so damn angry, I didn't even want my own son, and we had this huge fight and I said some terrible things about Noah at the time, that I would seriously burn in hell just to have it erased forever. But she was always a conniving and evil thing and she had me on voice record the whole time. Till this day, she'll play it back to me when I get angry or refuse to give her a little extra for 'Noah', it's just tough right now Jasmine, and I really do appreciate you wanting to be here for me and help out, but you're already doing more for me than you think you are." I feel his fingers run through my hair and it makes me smile.

"I am?" I ask softy, and he laughs.

"Of course. When I'm with you I forget about all of my drama and problems with Alison and I think of just how lucky I am and how grateful I am to have ever met you. I'm sorry if I'm freaking you out here, but I feel like I was meant to lose Noah in the store that day, I never lose Noah in stores, I just... honestly was lacking motivation, love, strength and hope that day. As horrible as it sounds, I didn't give two fucks that day and I just let whatever happen. Once I had realized Noah just ran off, I got my mind and my shit together and I went into a panic mode. I allowed myself to go weak for a couple of minutes and had already lost my damn son." He pauses and shakes his head, then looks down at me.

"Then I found Jaiden and I was so annoyed. How the hell do I find another little boy who happens to look similar to mine? I didn't even think about what he was wearing. I swear panicking fucks up the entire mind." He chuckles and I giggle softly, then settle down as he continues.

"Then I heard Jaiden scream for his mommy and I looked up and was blown away, you were so beautiful and the way you talked to me was unlike any other girl I'd talked to since being a single dad. I was literally blown away by your beauty. I couldn't believe I was actually having a conversation with a woman, a gorgeous one at that." He stares at me intently and then brush some of my hair from my face.

"You do so much for me and you make the situation with Alison sometimes feel like it's just a little mosquito bite. Small and always irritating me every once in a while, but not a big enough bite to bother me and distract me from something more important." He strikes my cheek with his thumb and I blush and swat his hand away playfully.

"Stop, I'm not that great." I mumble out embarrassed, but his brown eyes sparkle as he smiled.

"You really need to stop underestimating yourself, you're fucking amazing." He whispers, and finally does what I've been dreaming about him doing.

He kisses me.

I don't even know how quickly he moved, but he somehow leaned down and craned his neck just enough to get our lips to softly rest against each other. I feel this warm electric current feeling surge through me, and I want more of it. I want Kentrell, I want whatever this is between us to work, but I know he goes at his own pace, and I can honestly work with him.

I can wait for him to be ready.

I bury my hands in his short curls like I've been wanting to since day one, and I gently remove the glasses and hold them in one hand while I use my other to take my fingers through his hair. Our lips move patiently together and I feel like I've swallowed my heart, my stomach thumps so hard and it's attuned to my heart, so it's an intense feeling.

More intense than any feelings I've ever felt with Jahseh.

Kentrell finally pulls away and I open my eyes to see him staring at me gently.

"You have no idea how long I've been working up the courage to do that." He mumbles, and I giggle softly and lay my hand gently on his cheek.

"And you have no idea how long I've been waiting for it."

jay-the-girl