Let's Pretend We're Numb

Ch. 2

Jasmine

"Okay, what? I don't think I heard you say that right." I furrow my brows in confusion as I FaceTime with Jahseh. It's Sunday morning and he's called me with this ridiculous idea of us getting along. I rolled my eyes as he sighs.

"Jasmine, stop playing with me bro, you heard exactly what I said. I want you and I to have a somewhat good relationship with each other. So, you should join me and Jai for lunch today." I giggled and shake my head.

Jah is something else.

"Oh shit, you're serious? Alright. Where y'all going? Do I need to drive?" I asked and he shakes his head.

"Nah, I'll come pick you up. Just be ready." He laughs lowly and I smiled for some reason.

"Alright, Jah. I'll see you in a bit." I ended the FaceTime call and groaned.

What does he want from me?

There is no way in hell he just went to sleep last night and thought, 'Hey! Me and Jasmine need to get along'. I shake my head and start to get ready. I put on a little mascara and eyeliner, then I put my hair in a messy bun. I put on some black yoga shorts, a white spaghetti strap tank top and flip flops. There, perfectly comfortable.

I smiled at myself then rolled my eyes as I hear a car horn outside. I grabbed my small backpack with my wallet and phone in it and walk downstairs and out the door. I get outside and the sun is shining hella bright. Florida man. I walk to the passenger side of Jah's car as his door goes up and slide in. I shut the door and Jaiden yelps.

"MOMMY!" I smiled and turned around.

"Hey baby!" I smiled as he smiled back at me. I then turned to look at Jahseh. He's wearing a beanie and he's wearing yellow snow cones elastic waist shorts with a Jersey with the number 33 on the back and black Air Force Nike's.

"Thank you for letting me tag along today." I wink at him and he cracks a smile. He then takes off and Jaiden starts asking embarrassing questions.

"Daddy? How did you and Mommy make me?" My eyes widen as my cheeks burn in embarrassment and Jahseh clears his throat.

"Well, see what happened was we- we uh- hugged hard. Really hard. And then you popped up." I shake my head and looked over at Jah and he looks embarrassed too. Jaiden laughs and smacks his little lips together.

"So, why you and Mommy don't hug anymore?" Jaiden asked and Jahseh mumbles under his breath.

"Cause we don't like each other." I slap his arm and looked back at Jaiden who's frowning.

"Jai, he means that we don't see each other enough to hug." I explain the best way I can and he smiled.

"Oh. Well, why Daddy doesn't live with us?" He asked. I sighed.

Lord please stop making this child question us.

"Because daddy has his own house." He frowns.

"But all the kids in daycare live with their mommies and daddies." Jahseh stops at a red light and turned to face Jaiden.

"Alright Jai. Where did you get all these questions from?" Jah asked. He smiled widely making his dimples appear and laugh.

"Uncle Stokeley!" He said you guys would love it!" He continues to laugh and Jahseh turns around. I narrow my eyes at him and crossed my arms.

"Oh he did, huh?" Jah shrugs and starts driving again. We soon pull up at McDonald's and Jaiden claps his hands as we all get out the car and go inside. We order our food and go sit in a booth inside the playhouse area. Jaiden finished his chicken nuggets and run off to the ball pit. Me and Jahseh watch him until he disappears inside the tunnels and he sighs.

"Look, I'll talk to Stoke. That wasn't cool." I pick up a fry and stick it in my mouth.

"It wasn't, but Jah really? With Stoke's help or not, Jaiden was gonna end up asking those questions anyway and we're gonna have to answer them better than we did in the car." I point over to the window then I chew on another fry. Jahseh sips his drink then puts it down.

"Well, what are we gonna say to our 4 year old son? We both got drunk as fuck at a wild party and fucked unprotected and had a kid?" He stares at me as he tilts his head to the side. I widen my eyes as my cheeks heat up.

"No, Jah! But we should've been more prepared. It shows little effort we put into having a child together." He nods.

"Listen Jas, we really should try to get along more. Stoke made some good points and we don't want Jaiden to start thinking he's the reason why we don't fuck with each other." I cross my legs and sighed.

"Yeah, I agree. I can do that." Jahseh sucks his teeth and stares at me.

"So, you saying I can't?" I widen my eyes and for some reason I feel a pang of hurt go through me. I lean in towards him.

"Jah, I'm not saying about what you can't do." He visibly relaxes.

"Why do you do that?" I speak quietly and bite down on my lip. He scrunches his eyebrows.

"Why do I do what?" I play with my hands and shrug.

"Always get mad at me, like you want to stay mad at me." It's quiet except for the screaming and laughing kids and I take a glance at Jahseh. He's staring at me and he looks shocked. I frown and sigh.

"I mean, I just wanted to know. Do I really bother you that much?" He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I suck in a deep breath and feel tears threatening to spill.

Why am I hurt so much?

I scoot out of the booth and storm away to the restroom. I pushed open the door and throw myself in a stall. I scream out loud and kick the stall door. I sink down and put my head in my hands.

"I'm so stupid." I sniffle and wipe my eyes. I stand up, leaving the stall and look at myself in the mirror. My face is flushed and my eyes are puffy.

He's gonna think I'm a weak bitch.

I laugh to myself then leave the bathroom. I go back to the playroom and see Jaiden with Jah. I walk over avoiding eye contact with Jahseh. They both look up and Jaiden reaches out to me. I pick him up and he kissed my cheek.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" He asked, laying his head on my shoulder. I shake my head, still avoiding eye contact with Jahseh.

"Nothing baby. Ready to go?" I asked and Jaiden nods and I walk out without waiting for Jah's answer.

We get to his car and I reached in the back to strap Jaiden in and sit in the passenger seat. I cross my arms and stare out of the window as Jahseh gets in and starts the car, driving off. The ride back to my house is awkward and silent. I glanced in the backseat and Jaiden is fast asleep.

Shit, he was my excuse for not having to talk to Jah.

I sigh and he pulls up in my driveway and parked his car. I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Thanks for paying my food. See you tomorrow." I go for the handle, but he quickly locks the doors.

"Jasmine, can we talk? Can you look at me, please?"

Ugh! Why do I always get stuck in awkward situations with Jahseh?