Loki one-shots fanfiction ♡

56. I know you're seeing black and white

Loki felt the pressure of the collar tightening around his throat the moment 'end of file' was displayed across the screen.

Suddenly he couldn't breathe, and no one was here to save him.

Until Mobius walked into the room.

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Pairing: Loki/Mobius M. Mobius

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Loki felt the pressure of the collar tightening around his throat the moment 'end of file' was displayed across the screen. It seemed to be closing in, making breathing hard. The air in his lungs started to run out and the urge to jerk his hands upward and yank frantically at the device had never been stronger.

Thanos's hand around his neck, his windpipe getting crashed and then the sound of bones snap in half as blood slowly dripped down his eyes, his lifeless eyes. Suddenly his knees felt wobbly, like he might drop on the floor at any second. Nausea rolled in his stomach, threatening to crawl up his throat, and that was probably when Loki lost it.

Two hands coming up to claw savagely at the collar blocking his airway. Too tight. Too tight. He couldn't breathe (even though he'd been able to breathe just fine with it on during the past hours he'd been wearing it around the TVA, before he stumbled across his own demise by the hand of the Titan)
He couldn't breathe and he needed it out.

The sound that escaped his mouth sounded awfully lot like a sob, an embarrassingly sob. Though he couldn't care about that right now.

"Loki,"

Thanos was... he was...

"Loki!"

Another pair of hands made contact with his own, that were still around his neck, they were firm and persistent. It halted Loki's motion, and Loki was surprised to find Mobius's face only a few inches from his. Mobius looked... concern.

When did Mobius walk through that door? How much did he see? How embarrassing.

"Loki," Mobius's voice was clear, loud enough, but Mobius didn't look angry.
Loki expected Mobius to at least take offense, especially after his pickpocketing the man's Tempad, but if anything Mobius looked worried, which might have something to do with Loki having a panic attack of sorts here.
(But why would Mobius care, that was something Loki didn't understand)

"Breathe," Mobius was saying. "It's okay. Just breathe,"

He tried following Mobius's order. The collar tightened itself around his throat as soon as he did that, which resulted in Loki choking on his own sobs again. "I can't," he said, or heard himself say. "I can't." Another wave of panic threatened to wash over, his face turned pale and he feared he might vomit right where he stood.

"Too tight," he went on. The collar. "Too tight. I can't,"

Whatever Loki expected Mobius to do, it wasn't Mobius urgently reaching for the item, doing something with it, before it dropped off of his neck and onto the floor within the span of 5 seconds. Loki hated himself for reflexively flinching once it hit the floor next to his feet, but at the very least he'd prefer it off of his neck.

(And if this was Loki's scheme, if he planned on tricking Mobius into freeing him of the device keeping his magic out of reach....
But the truth was, it was real. The fear in his eyes was real. Somehow Mobius knew that. Either he knew or he was putting all his trust in Loki, after Loki snatched the Tempad from him less than half an hour ago)

"Now," Mobius said. "Breathe,"

Loki's reaction was nothing more than a whimper. Pathetic. The collar was gone, yes, but the feelings of Thanos's hand around his neck remained as violent. Too real. His legs kicking in the air, nails digging fruitlessly into the hard gauntlet covering the hand that was breaking his neck. His bones shattered, body went limp as Thor watched it all happen.

"Loki," Mobius's voice brought him back to reality, thankfully.
He only had a second to react when Mobius's hand moved up to cup his cheek. The sudden contact did startle him -- they just met, they were strangers an hour ago, or maybe they still were -- but Mobius's touch was gentle, soft and gentle and Loki, as strange as it was, never wanted the hand to go away.

He only knew what Mobius was doing when Mobius wiped a drop of tear on his skin with his thumb. Then it occurred to Loki he wasn't aware of himself crying until now. As if you haven't embarrassed yourself enough. Now you're crying, too.

"Breathe," Mobius was saying again.

He moved his hand back down to Loki's wrist. He was being gentle, cautious, like he still wasn't sure if Loki would suddenly lash out. But Loki didn't protest when Mobius carefully guided his hand forwards and placed it atop his chest.

And instead of jerking away like he should have done -- he never let anyone get this close to him, not even Thor -- Loki unconsciously leaned in against the warmth Mobius's palm provided. He opened his mouth, the only sound he could manage was a broken sob followed by the "I can't," Loki said. "I can't,"

"Yes, you can," Mobius said. It was the confidence in his voice that nearly got Loki convinced. "You can. Just follow me, alright?"

Then Mobius took a deep, steady breath. Slowly and surely. And Loki closed his eyes as he pressed his hand a bit tighter against Mobius, against the fabric of his shirt, like he needed that; the steadiness of the raise and fall of Mobius's chest being something Loki suddenly, desperately needed so he could hold onto, so he too could finally breathe.

He mirrored Mobius's action, inhaling the air into his burning lungs.

His lungs, burning as he struggled for an ounce of oxygen that was stolen from him, with Thanos's hand closing in around his throat.

"Loki," Mobius reeled him back to reality once more with his voice — when Loki started hyperventilating, another episode threatened to follow — and Loki needed that. "You're okay," he went on. "You're not there. You're here with me, and nothing is gonna hurt you. Breathe. Just breathe with me,"

Loki opened his eyes to look at Mobius again. He was fairly aware of how pathetic he looked, and Mobius... Mobius was a stranger at best, enemy at worst. Loki had spent his entire life learning the hard way; the things that would happen, if he showed an enemy his weakness. So Mobius's genuine concern and kindness were a shock to him, something he couldn't understand, and he was too overwhelmed to ask why. Why Mobius hadn't used this golden opportunity to break him down even further and instead he was doing the complete opposite.

"Slowly," he went on. This time only a soft whisper that was only loud enough for Loki to hear. "With me,"

So Loki did. Mobius guiding him through it until he could get a deep steady intake of breath into his lungs before letting it out in the same rhythm.

"You're doing great," Mobius encouraged, his voice was reassuring.

You're doing great, the words ricochetted in Loki's mind. He could sink down on his knees and weep right on the spot, he'd been chasing that from Odin, from Thor, even from Thanos. Doing his best and all he got in return was pain, and here there was this man whom Loki just met merely an hour ago or so, and he was telling him he was doing great, and it sounded almost too surreal. No one told him that before.

"Loki," Mobius was saying again. "It's okay, you're doing amazing. Just keep breathing with me,"

Loki, unbeknown to himself, began listening to the man's every word like his life depended on it now. 

Mobius, he chanted the man's name in his head, unconsciously leaning down until his face was nuzzling at the crook of Mobius's neck, just resting there. He was eventually calm and was able to breathe normally, but he never wanted Mobius's touch to ever go away.

Mobius's hand at the small of his back, rubbing gently up and down along the fabric of his shirt, the other found its way at the back of Loki's head, fingers gently running through his hair, and Loki let out a sigh of relief. It felt good to be held. He couldn't remember when the last time he was held was, but here Mobius was holding him, tightly and protectively.

And if felt good.

When Loki slowly moved his hands up until they were both resting on Mobius's back, it felt like home.