Loki one-shots fanfiction ♡

18. when the zeros line up on the twenty-four hour clock

When insomnia hit Loki made his way to the compound's kitchen for late night tea. He didn't expect a company, but she was already there when he walked through the door. And he knew he should go back to his room once he finished his cup, yet for some reason, he stayed.

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He knew her. Not that well nor did they ever shared any real conversations, but he did see her at least a couple times walking around serving coffee. Stark's intern. Y/n, right? Loki tried to recall. Right, her name was y/n. He didn't think he'd find y/n here, still in the compound when she should be at her home at this time, at all. Let alone a drunken mess who was weeping on the floor with her back against the wall, bottle of whiskey in her hand. And from the multiple empty bottles around, the God didn't want to think how much she'd had. At first when Loki entered the kitchen he ignored her, but now that he finished his tea he was looking at her directly, his face lack of emotion. He didn't think she even noticed he was here to begin with; too busy drowning herself with tears and alcohol.

Y/n was a quiet girl. A shy one. Loki never listened, but he was positive her never heard her spoke more than three words at a time before. It made him curious; what was in her mind, why was she sad, what was bothering her? None of your business, A voice inside his head answered. It was right. Loki shrugged and turned around eventually. He was one step away from leaving when he heard thudding sound coming from behind. When he looked back she was banging her head against the wall. Seconds earlier she looked sad, but now she looked angry. Sad and angry at the same time. Totally miserable. And she wouldn't stop doing that; great! The pathetic mortal's going to crack her skull open, Loki thought. He should have walked away still, minding his own business. Though there was this annoying ache somewhere in his chest that stopped him from leaving. I don't care about a Midgardian, Loki convinced himself in his head, I'm just curious what in the Nine Realms is wrong with her. Paying no attention about how unconvincing his own voice sounded he approached y/n and knelt down in front of her.

When y/n tried to hit her head again she didn't feel the pain she was hoping to let it distract her from her troubled thoughts when alcohol alone wasn't enough, instead there was someone's hand on the back of her head, shielding her from the hard wall. "What?" She looked startled. Like she believed it was just her alone in the kitchen all these times.

"The wall wouldn't look pretty with your brain splattered on it, just saying. Stark wouldn't approve." It seemed y/n was having a hard time understanding. Her unfocused eyes carried past Loki and Loki sighed, retracting his hand and moving to sit next to her. "Shitty day, I suppose." He tried to start a conversation and, at the same time, couldn't believe he, out of all people, was the one trying to start a conversation with a mortal, especially after all the insults he'd been given them during the beginning of life on Earth.

"Shitty life." Y/n corrected with a wry laugh, tilting her head backward and draining the liquor.

Loki looked at her; her cheeks flushed red and so were her eyes; puffy and bloodshot. "Can't be worse than mine." He said and y/n finally looked back at him.

"You're a God. I can't think of a reason why being a God have its fault." She slurred and Loki laughed before he could contain himself. She thought his life was perfect! She could perform a stand-up comedy!

"You could say that," He began, "If we're just going to exclude the facts I've been lied to my whole life by someone whom I thought was my father, lived in the shadow of my brother, learned the hard way that I'm the monster parents told their children about at night, wanted to die but death wouldn't give me that release and instead I ended up being a slave of the Mad Titan; tortured and manipulated till I didn't feel like myself, didn't know what was real what was fake. The Hulk threw me around like a rag doll. My mother was killed while I was locked up in a cell serving life sentence for a crime I committed while my hands were tied. The last thing I said to her; I told her she wasn't my mother. I got stabbed through the chest and I thought I was going to die, but then I didn't. Then my sister, whom my so-called father kept a secret from me all these times, showed up and I was forced to destroy my own home planet. And the Mad Titan caught up with me, killed all of my people and broke my neck and I thought I would die, but again, death didn't want me. So here I am; dealing with PTSD, depression and the never ending nightmares. But if we exclude all of these then I guess you could say I - being a God - have the perfect life." Before Loki knew it he already spilled his guts and holy fuck did he just open up to a mortal? That easily?! Apparently. It was only that he had carried it all on his shoulders for so long without telling anyone, and once he started it he couldn't stop himself as words kept coming out his mouth. Loki just hoped she'd forget the deepest secrets he unconsciously shared with her. Of course she'd forget. She's too drunk to remember, He told himself.