Loki one-shots fanfiction ♡

29. rip my veins up through my flesh

Relationship: Loki & Nebula. Trigger warning's applied.

A daughter of Thanos came knocking on Thor's front door. She had something to say. It'd better be worth listening, for Thor's fingers already itched for Stormbreaker.

///

"Maybe you should slow down," said Loki, or the ghost of Loki, or the ghost of Loki Thor's intoxicated mind conjured from grief, imagination and alcohol.

"Shut up," Thor growled before downing the rest of his liquor in less than five eager gulps. On the table, in which his feet rested, already sat the many empty bottles. The room smelt like wet dogs and expired food, it probably had something to do with the leftovers - cheeseburger and pizza and Lord knew what else - that had been here for at least a week, that and the fact Thor hadn't showered or changed his clothes or moved from his loveseat in three days. The static noise from the broken TV didn't seem to be bothering him, though.

After Loki, Heimdall and half of his people were dead (and that was on Thor. He knew his duty was to protect them, he let them all down) Thor had long given up in finding a point in living. So he was just breathing - that was pretty much the only thing he did, oh and drinking, too. His friends, Valkyrie and Korg, tried dragging him to the outside world, they learned quickly enough how stubborn Thor could be. In the end Thor didn't really notice (nor did he care) when they eventually gave up and left him be, only that they stopped coming to his house. Good. He didn't want to be seen, and he sure as shit didn't want to see anyone.

A knock at his front door chased away the-imaginary-ghost-of-Loki. Thor cursed not quietly. "Get lost!" He barked, not indicating any sign he would get up and go get it.

They knocked again, louder, and Thor rolled his eyes. For fuck's sake, he thought unhappily, but did move and drag his steps towards the entrance, yanking the door open.

"What part of Get Lost do you not understa-" Thor stopped, taken aback. He thought it was Valkyrie. The last person he'd expected to set foot at his porch was the evil spawn that was the daughter of the Mad Titan who took everything away from him.

~~~

At first, Nebula told herself she only wanted Loki to stop screaming because she'd very much appreciate some sleep. That was the only reason. The thought of her starting to feel bad for him scared her, and that was the problem; she wasn't supposed to feel, wasn't supposed to be capable of fear. She was afraid to feel.

Thanos had taught her better than that. Feelings are for the weaklings, she remembered his words as clear as day as parts of her body were being removed, replaced by machine.

But Thanos was dead (which meant no one were to punish her for developing such false that was sympathy) and it was just her and his other children. Life suddenly held no purpose when the only purpose she was born for - made for - had been archived. All of the six Infinity Stones, she and the other children helped bring them to the Titan; with one snap of his fingers, the universe balanced itself once more - half of every living soul turned to dust, as it should. And it was the power of the gauntlet that took her father's life. His great sacrifice, Nebula knew she would remember for as long as she drew breath.

You are starting to feel things, the voices inside her head sounded awfully lot like Gamora, a sister whose corpse was probably still there on Vormir, at the spot where she had fallen - cold and stiff and... away. You're feeling sorry for a prisoner. You're just as weak and pathetic as he is.

Even dead, you are still right, sister, Nebula almost answered it aloud. She half wished her father was still here. If Thanos were here, he would fix this; cut open her brain and make her not feel, then she would be as right as rain. Nebula retracted to her room in the sanctuary, the door did nothing to keep out the prisoner's howl of agony.