Rendezvous

twenty | fears

Part I - Fears

November 11

It's been five days since I got offered the Paralegal position.

Two days since I sent my finalized signature.

And zero days since I've told Lana.

I'm dreading my last few days in LA. Dreading the look on her face when I break the news. Dreading myself for waiting this long to tell her.

Despite the fact that I've seen her every day this week, I haven't had the courage to tell her. It's either before or after we have sex, every time I muster the courage to tell her, and we all know how that will play out.

Valid excuse? No? Okay.

But I promised myself that I wouldn't go to bed to tonight without telling her.

11:23 a.m.

So much for heading to the gym to clear my head. Every mile I ran, I felt as though there were more obstacles standing in front of me, slowing me down.

As my legs began to tremble, my lungs worked to pull in the much-needed oxygen, yet I still felt like I was drowning in the air.

"Jesus," Chuck says as she pulls her headphones out of her ears on the treadmill next to me. "You're pushing too hard." As I guzzle water like my life depends on it, she continues.

"Are you planning to run a marathon in San Francisco?" Chuck says causing me to roll my eyes.

"Very funny."

Along with Jay, Chuck and Lila know I was moving.

"Did you start yet packing?" she asks as she walks over to me.

"No, not yet," I exhale. "But, the movers are scheduled to come in today."

"You're so lucky you don't have to pay a dime," She chuckles.

"Dean Hanover offered to cover all expenses for the first nine months, but if I decided to stay longer, I'd have to pay," respond.

"I thought the gig was only for nine months," Chuck says.

"I mean, it's a permanent position, so I have the option of quitting or staying after the nine months are up," I explain.

"Would I be a terrible friend to hope you hate it there?" Chuck asks innocently.

"Kinda," I chuckle slightly. "But even if I love it there, LA will always be my home."

2:07 p.m.

I went back home after leaving the gym because I had previously requested a leave of absence from my last course. The movers aren't coming till later, so I had nothing to do in the meantime, but pack.

I was going to finish writing a couple of emails to my professors before I felt my phone vibrate.

L: where are you?

A: hey

A: home

L: I'll be there soon

2:43 p.m.

I was in my bedroom when I heard the door close shut. After a few seconds she walked in and threw herself on my bed, sighing heavily.

"How's it going, babe?" I ask as I stand up from my desk and stroll over to the bed.

"When were you going to tell me?" she says, rising up and looking at me with an expression I couldn't decipher.