Dear Heart, You May Speak Now.

Chapter 6

Friday February 6th 2015

"Suffocating blackness wraps my heart.
You appear when I close my eyes, you appear when I open them.
To never laugh with you again, is just like never being able to breathe.
Never being able to dream.
The sun has gone out.
All the birds have stopped singing.
Yes, the stars are not ours to gaze at anymore.
Without your voice, I am wordless.
Without your warmth, my wings have pulled out of my back.
Without your eyes, I am blind.
Without the flowers that I would see blooming in your hands, there is no beauty left.
Thank you for all the time, you gave me.
I wish I could see you again."

When I finish, Mrs. Finley looks at me with an expression that shows she's touched by my piece.

Almost everyone in the class looks at me deeply. Okay like my piece was honest, but it wasn't so well written as far as I can tell.

But maybe that's what art is anyway, it's not for you to judge your own work, it's how it makes the other person react, what expressions it allows you see on the person's face who's in front of you, and not what you feel inside of yourself.

Mrs. Finley asks "Oleander, what did you write that about?" I answer "How I'd feel if I lost my Mom." Mrs. Finley raises her eyebrows at me "Really?" I nod.

Mrs. Finley tells the last student to go next. Chloe leans into me "That was too good." I shake my head "Yours and Cora's was better." Cora leans into me now too "You're crazy. You obliterated everyone's." Chloe nods at me happily.

After the student finishes, Mrs. Finley nods to the student and says "Very delicate. Wonderful." Then she looks at all of us "Okay everyone can have the rest of the class to write a paragraph on who had the best piece. Forty minutes should be long enough, I'll be back in a bit."

Once Mrs. Finley leaves, the class starts getting louder within a minute. Cora laughs suddenly, me and Chloe look at her at the same time. I ask "What are you laughing at?" Cora answers
"You're gonna win again Dude." I roll my eyes "Oh come on" Chloe looks at me "Cora's right."

I shake my head "You guys are actually crazy." Cora smiles "No we're not. On to the next conversation: When are you picking us up tomorrow?"

I answer "Well, I'll pick you up around six thirty, then Chloe around seven." And then in the morning, I'll drive you, Leon and Chloe  home in whatever order you guys want."

Chloe looks at me softly "You can drive me home last in the morning, I live close to you anyway."

Cora says "Yeah that makes sense, and then I live near Leon, so you could drive him home first."

I smile "Okay, no problem." Chloe looks at me with a grin "You know what?" I ask "What?" She looks towards me and Cora "You're gonna be famous one day." Cora says "Omg YES. I can totally see it. You walking around in suits. Reading at Book Café's."

I shake my head at both of them, then laugh "I'll be working at the corner store full time, struggling to pay rent every month."

Then I point to Cora "You'll be like a rich conceptual artist." I point to Chloe "And you'll be a well travelled adventurer, and one day you'll walk in and be like "Omg Olly you still work here?" And I'll answer "Yup your Pal, good ol Olly's still here."

Cora starts laughing hard, which causes me and Chloe to laugh hard. Chloe says "It's the "good ol Olly" part for me that makes it funny." Cora laughs "For me, it's the "struggling to pay rent" part."

Chloe looks at me "You're wrong though. You're gonna write the book of Our Generation." I laugh "Yeah okay." Cora smiles "Even if you don't do anything major.Do you really believe you're gonna keep working at that corner store?"

I shrug my shoulders "They pay well." Cora shakes her head "If nothing else, become a model. You have the face and height." I start laughing hysterically, tears come to my eyes. As I wipe tears I say "Me? A Model, you gotta tell that one to Leon."

Chloe looks into my eyes and asks "Do you have a low self esteem or something? Why are you always putting yourself down?" Cora jumps in "Yeah honestly, you're fucking genius."

I don't know what to say, so I say "I don't have a low self esteem, but I just think you both are over hyping me." Chloe looks at Cora and me "You have a gift Dude, use it." Cora jumps in again "Exactly, most people have to work so hard to become good. You're good from the get go."

I put my hands up "Okay I surrender, what do you want me to do?" Cora laughs, then puts my hands down "Stop, you look like an idiot. We just mean that you should acknowledge the fact that you're talented."

Chloe nods. Cora asks "Okay now tell me, are all the girls going to be dressed slutty tomorrow?" I laugh "I have no idea." She looks at Chloe "What are you wearing?" Chloe grins "A sweater and tights." Cora asks "Why? You're single, and sexy, don't you wanna get some?"

Chloe shakes her head and laughs "What do you mean why? I'm not gonna get dressed up and put on a dramatic look with makeup just so someone likes me, if someone cares they'll like me how I am. I don't care about getting anything. And I don't see myself as sexy."

I think to myself "Well you're wrong about that." Cora looks at Chloe blankly "Omg both my friends are fools. Do you realize how hot you are. You know everyone talks about you, and wants you?"

Chloe laughs "Cora you should sign up to become an personal emotional cheerleader." I say "I second that." Cora shakes her head "I'm serious." Then Cora slaps my arm "Oleander tell her." I ask "Tell her what?" Cora looks at me like I'm stupid. I say "Oh. Yeah. Everyone thinks you're really beautiful."

Chloe looks at me a second too long, then laughs "Ok, that's bullshit." Cora puts her hand to her forehead just at the exact time as Mrs. Finley comes back. The class quiets down, and finishes their paragraphs. I vote for Chloe.

As I'm about to leave the class Mrs. Finley stops me "Oleander could you come here for a minute?" I walk to Mrs. Finley's desk "Hey what's up?"

She looks up at me in a strange way "Maybe I shouldn't tell you this. Because sometimes things like this are better left unsaid, but I'm afraid it'll bother me forever if I don't mention it to you."

I start to panic but I don't let it show on my face. I plaster a smile on "What Mrs. Finley, did I do something wrong?"

She shakes her head lightly "Oleander rarely does it happen that you stumble across true talent, and I'm suspicious that you are an example of it. Now I don't know if you're interested at all in this or not, but I'd encourage you to use what you've got."

I don't know what else to say except "Thank you, and I always try to write honestly." Mrs. Finley smiles "You're Poem today was fantastic." I say "Thank you." again before I walk out of Class, to go to my locker, to grab my coat, then I walk to my to my car in a strange mood.