iLove

Chapter 10

Derek went home that evening, his mind in disarray to say the least. He welcomed the sweet amber liquid and let it burn as it slid down his throat. He went back to his bedroom as usual and closed his eyes as he laid down on the bed. He couldn't believe that this woman, the woman who'd somehow started to soften him, or perhaps the woman he'd started to fall for... was none other than Meredith Grey. He heard noises coming from his laptop and glanced over to the flashing box on the screen, full of messages from her. He couldn't stop himself from reading them

MEG216: Dash, I just got your message. Sorry I didn't respond sooner, somehow I lost my phone.
MEG216: Dash, you there?
MEG216: Well if you've had a day anything like I just had I'm sure you're in your happy place.
MEG216: I guess I'll try to catch you later then...hope all is well with you

Derek felt a little pang in his gut as he closed his laptop. Unsure of what his next move would be. He couldn't bring himself to send her a message, he didn't know if he should keep talking to her. In fact, he knew that he shouldn't continue talking to her. It was wrong, despite the fact that she still had no idea who he was, keeping up an online romance with an intern was against the rules. Having a romance with anyone whatsoever was against his own rules. Her mother was now chief of surgery and a hard ass just like his father was, if she saw anything going on between them Meredith's life would be over. He felt his eyes mist, whether from emotion or the alcohol he didn't know. All he knew was that it was over, sadly, it had to be over.


***********


"Ready for another day in hell?" Izzy asked a few days later in the locker room.

"You guys are in hell." Meredith muttered "I'm drowning in the lake of fire."

"It won't be like this forever Mer." Izzy giggled "Once we all prove ourselves they'll let up."

"Wanna bet?" Meredith raised her brow. "My mother's tortured me my entire life, and Shepherd's on a warpath with me for what reason I have no idea, and then I haven't heard from..." she stopped short and looked at Izzy wide eyed like she didn't mean to add the last part.

"You haven't heard from who?" she asked.

"No one." she shook her head.

"Oh your cyber boyfriend?"

"Shut up." She glared

"Why would you care Mer?" Izzy rolled her eyes "It's just someone online. There's plenty of fish in that pond."

"It's just." she sighed as she sat on the bench to tie her shoes "I felt like I finally found someone who really understood me. Someone that I could talk to and not worry about what I said, I could speak with complete honesty."

"Must be nice." she sympathized.

"Well it doesn't matter anymore." Meredith shrugged "I haven't heard from him in almost three days. And I guess I'm not a person who gets breaks."

"Don't worry, you'll be too busy to talk to anyone soon enough."

"That's true." she sighed "Hopefully I'll figure out where my phone went though."

"You lost your phone?"

"Yeah, the day of that conference."

"Why don't you just order a new one?"

"My old one has all my stuff in it, and I liked it. It was a good phone."

"Phones are phones though." Izzy shrugged. "Come on, lets go get rounds done before Bailey gets here. Maybe she'll actually be impressed today."

"That's unlikely."

Somehow the two beat most of the interns to the charts and started making rounds on Dr. Bailey's patients, hoping to get in her good graces. Meredith knew better but found it entertaining how hard Izzy worked at trying to impress people.

"Did you do your half already?" Izzy asked surprised.

"Yeah," Meredith frowned "You're not?"

"Crap, no!" Izzy grumbled.

"Well how many more do you have?"

"Three."

"Hurry through them, and don't ramble at the patient, just get in and get out." Meredith smirked, knowing how much of a blabber mouth Izzy could be "Bosses don't like rambling apparently."

"Right, ok." Izzy nodded.

"I'll meet you at the nurses station." Meredith giggled.

Izzy nodded and hurried off to the next patient's room. She walked over to the nurses station and opened a chart and made the notes she needed to make in it, she was scribbling away when she saw someone place a tall cup of coffee in front of her. She stared at it in disbelief for a few seconds before reluctantly lifting her eyes to the person next to her, he had to blink a few times to believe it herself, his hard wrinkled face showed no anger, something else that surprised her. She looked at the coffee and back at him again with curiosity.

"It's just coffee." he said

"Um, ok." she mumbled, his lips pulled up into an actual smile, she frowned "You know your mood swings are giving me whiplash."

"Sorry." his smile dropped.

"I just can't ever figure out if you want to hate me or not."

"Apparently I have a lot to learn when it comes to you." he mumbles, her eyes tightened in thought "I mean when it comes to social etiquette, and I thought perhaps I'd take you up in your offer."

"You mean you're actually going to be sociable with me?"

"Perhaps a little better than that." he sighed "I'm an ass, and I know that. I need someone to tell me when I'm crossing the line, and since you know how to do that effectively."

"You want me to tell you when you're being an ass."

"Yes."

"Are you going to be nice to me?"

"Yes." he mumbled "But not when you're mother is around."

"I would really hope not." she sighed "She seems to crank it up a notch if she sees other people giving me a little slack. It's like she has to fill some kind of void."

"I know," he smiled lightly "I know how they work."

"You know this might actually work, we might make a good team."

"If you would call it that." he said "Oh here, by the way."

She watched as he fished a small black object out of his pocket, she recognized it immediately and gasped.

"Oh god!" she mumbled and grabbed it out of his hand "Where did you find it?"

"I saw it lying on the floor." he replied, "I didn't mean to snoop but I wanted to figure out who's it was."

"Oh." she blushed "Well thank, I've been missing it."

"Not a problem." he nodded. He saw Izzy coming down the hall and stammered a little before turning and leaving without a word. Meredith frowned.

"So what ass reaming did he give you this time?" Izzy asked as she set the charts down on the nurses station desk.

"None actually." Meredith said blankly.

"Really?"

"Really," Meredith frowned, "I think maybe he puts on a tough face for everyone but underneath he's a real person...well, underneath all the social dysfunction."

"Huh." Izzy frowned. "Oh you found your phone!"

"Yeah." Meredith broke her previous concentration and looked at the object in hand "I found it."

"So we should probably get back to the locker room before Bailey arrives."

"Yeah we should."

*********

Derek watched her walk off from down the hall. He did his best to forget about her, forget what a friend he'd found in MEG216. And finally he came to realize that they were both kind of different people under the mask of their screen names, and yes they both needed a friend more than anything in the world. So what the hell...

DASH109: Meg...I'm sorry that I've been away. Personal issues...can you forgive me?
MEG216: Yes of course! I was a little worried, are you alright?
DASH109:I'm great now, I feel relieved to be talking to you again.
MEG216: I do too Dash, glad you're ok.
DASH109: How are you? Are things at work going better?
MEG216: Not at all actually...though I think I've had a breakthrough with my boss.
DASH109: How so?
MEG216: I think under his sour attitude he portrays to everyone else, I think I see a real person underneath.
DASH109: Sometimes the world gets the better of us and we need something, or someone to wake us up.
MEG216: Yeah.
DASH109: How are other things?
MEG216: Horrible. My wonderful mother just became my boss... actually worse than that.. She's my boss's boss. The ultimate boss of the company. I guess you could consider her a CEO of your company, whatever that is.
DASH109: I am getting the picture. I'm sure she's not taking it easy on you.
MEG216: Not at all. She's making my life hell...and I was already there. I've been seriously contemplating jumping off a ferry boat and sinking to the bottom of Elliot bay, death sounds really good right now.
DASH109: You like ferry boats huh?
MEG216: How in the world did you gain that from what I just said?
DASH109: People usually do something they enjoy right before they off themselves.
MEG216: You're an expert on suicide?
DASH109: LOL, no. It's just a statistic.
MEG216: I see.
DASH109: I have a thing for ferry boats.
MEG216: I know the perfect spot to watch them....I would show you but that would require us meeting.
DASH109: Yes it would.
MEG216: A part of me is entertaining that thought...but I don't think I'd be ready to plunge into that kind of insanity.
DASH109: Perhaps later then.

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