iLove

Chapter 44

It was an hour before Meredith's tears finally stopped falling and her sobs quieted. Her and Derek both laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling in silence for a while. When he felt she had calmed down he wanted to know what really was bothering her...

"So was Izzy leaving really what had you so upset?" he asked.

"Yes." she gulped "And no."

"Yes and no?" he asked. She let out a soft sigh.

"I was angry that she left without a word." she explained "But then I was relieved. I have an extra bedroom now, and I thought I could turn it into a nursery. And then it all hit me at once, oh my god I'm going to be a mom!" he turned his head to look at her as she took a deep breath "And then I freaked out, what if I'm a bad mom. What if I screw the kid up like my mom screwed me up. Or what if I'm a really good mom, and I give the kid the kind of childhood that I always wanted. And it all just hit me and it just felt so..."

"Overwhelming?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Meredith." he said her name like velvet and took one of her hands into his "You're going to be a good mom. And the baby will be lucky, and you won't be alone. We're doing this together." she turned and looked into his eyes, he smiled "You can lean on me."

She gulped and stared at him for a long moment.

"You really think we should get married?"

"I think it feels right." he said "Not because of the baby, but because I love you. Because you were like coming up for air, it's like I was drowning and you saved me...and that's all I know."

"That's good enough." she whispered and leaned in to tenderly kiss him. "But we have to keep it low key...no rings, ignore each other at work, get married in the middle of night kind of thing."

"We're getting married?" he grinned. She gulped.

"Yeah." she nodded "We're getting married."

"Can I do one thing?"

"Sure." she said, not thinking. Then he sat up and pulled her up with him, he scooted her to the edge of the bed as he knelt down, she realized it and gasped "Oh god Derek please don't!"

"Meredith I have to."

"No, no, no!" she whined "Please, you're going to make me cry, and I seriously cannot go through THAT again!"

"I'll make it short and sweet."

"How about just short and a tiny bit sweet." she said "For my hormone's sake."

"Alright." he smiled.

"Meredith Grey." he smiled as he took her hand "I love you, and I promise to love you every day for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?"

"Yes." she smiled.

He quickly got off his knee before she started sprouting tears again and kissed her soundly.

"So when should we get married?" he asked.

"How about Friday, we both have the weekend off."

"Friday works." he said "Where?"

"You find someone to officiate, I'll find a secret place."

"Should we invite a few friends?" he asked, she narrowed her eyes.

"That would kind of defeat the purpose of getting married in secret Derek."

"I thought the secret was ok as long as your mother doesn't know."

"No friends please." she said "The less people that see me cry the better."

"You're really hating these hormones aren't you?"

"Like you wouldn't believe!"

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