iLove

Chapter 12

"So getting drunk in a roomful of sweaty men is your idea of a prize?"

"First place is first place babe." he smiled as he watched her finish stitching up a gash in his abdomen "It's all in the recognition of being number one, you know what I mean?"

"Actually," she smiled "I find it pretty exciting just being able to compete."

"But imagine the adrenaline rush you'll feel when you win, when you beat out all the others."

"I'll have to take your word for it." she giggled "Are you sure you won't let me do a CT? It'll only take an hour, and I think it's necessary."

"No time, gotta get back out there." he said standing up.

"Then you'll need to sign an AMA form." she sighed and grabbed a clipboard and handed it to him.

"I'll do whatever you ask me to love." he winked, she felt flattered at the flirtation but rolled her eyes. He scribbled something on the board and handed to her.

"Then do a CT."

"Just not that." he said.

"Well then I wish you good luck." she mumbled with a sigh. He grinned and as she took the clipboard he pulled her into him and crushed his lips against hers, she gasped and threw her hands up to prove it was an involuntary kiss. He stepped away with a wider grin "What the hell was that for?"

"Good luck." he chuckled and made his way for the door.

"For your sake I hope it works!" she yelled after him. She felt a smirk on her lips as she sighed and turned to clean up the suture mess, she glanced up and saw someone standing there with crossed arms giving her an incredulous stare "What."

"I certainly hope that's not the way you and Izzy are getting ahead." he grumbled and sat down on the bed "As delicious as it sounds, I don't think that it would fly for me."

"George." she giggled "If you saw it all you would know that I had no part in that, he kissed me."

"And this morning with the pre-rounds and coffee from the attending who hates everyone?"

"He doesn't hate everyone." she scowled "And I hope you're not suggesting what I think you are."

"I just don't get why he goes from biting my head off one second and looks at you then suddenly he's human again."

"Maybe he just realized he was being too hard on you."

"And you have nothing to do with that?"

"George shouldn't you be worried about the case you have under him?" she said changing the subject.

"Running labs and tests is hardly a case," George muttered "Shepherd isn't know to let just anyone who helps him in on a surgery, you of all people know that."

"Maybe if you suggest something important he would."

"Like what?"

"Tell him you think he might have a tumor."

"I doubt he does."

"Something made him fall George," Meredith pointed out "Something made him pass out and fall down the stairs. He's what? Thirty something, healthy thirty year old men don't just fall down the stairs and fill their cranium with nine inch nails."

"Ok, you have a point." George said narrowly. "But why aren't you telling Shepherd this?"

"Because you're on the case, I'm not."

"You could easily be on the case with that kind of information."

"You should do it George."

"What was with your thing with Izzy this morning? Why did you tell Bailey to let her do the surgery."

"Pre-rounds was Izzy's idea, it was only right for her to do the surgery."

"Then why would you expect me to do that to you?" he asked. Meredith stared at him incredulously "You know Meredith I get that you have it harder than the rest of us here, but you can't give up just because you do. You're smart, and anyone who's ego hasn't clouded their eyesight can see that. But if you keep this up you're only going to be crippling yourself." he hopped off the table and sighed "Tell Shepherd yourself."


She stood there stunned by George's honest words a few moments after he'd already left. She finally walked out of the room and went to the nurses station, the charts were all done for the moment and she realized then that it was lunchtime. She felt a jump in her stomach as she turned and climbed the stairs. She finally got to the seventh floor and walked into the dark hallway and walked through plastic sheets and followed her nose to a room with lots of windows. He was standing in the middle next to a stool with a flat box on it, munching on something.

"Smells good in here." she said, he turned to her when he heard her voice "Reminds me that I forgot my lunch."

"I assumed you would." he said "That's why I ordered plenty."

"Pizza." she smiled and reached for a piece "My favorite."

"I know." he mumbled, her eyes snapped up at him and he instantly regretted saying it.

"How could you know that?"

"Just a hunch." he recovered "You're fresh out of college, it makes sense."

"Ok." she nodded, her eyes relaxing, she took a bite "so what's your first set of advice for me."

"Take her crap, but don't take her crap."

"That makes absolutely no sense." she frowned.

"What I mean is, she's your boss, she's everyone's boss. We all have to take her crap, but don't let her walk all over you either, that was one mistake I made."

"What exactly is letting her walk all over me?"

"She wants to be professional, she wants to be your boss and get at you that way. Badger the intern. But when she brings personal into the picture it's crossing the line. Like this morning, when she mentioned that you were too much like your father.."

"Yeah, that was a low blow." she mumbled "What should I do?"

"Tell her if she doesn't have any professional constructive criticism that she can take the rest up with you after hours."

"That'll fly well."

"Sometimes, and choose your moment well, you have to give them crap back." he says "but you need to let them teach too, you can't expect them to sugar coat everything."

"Right, no sugar coating." she nodded "You know, when you're not barking down my throat, you're a pretty nice guy."

"Well what are friends for." he mumbled into another bite of pizza.

"Friends?"

"I mean um.." he stuttered "Well I figured that maybe we could both use a friend...don't you wish sometimes that you had someone to talk to about stuff you can't tell other people."

"I have someone I can talk to like that." she said before she could stop herself.

"Who?" he asked intuitively

"It's um." she blushed "It's none of your business."

"What?" he almost laughed "What's wrong with knowing who it is?"

"It's just everyone thinks it's stupid and gives me crap about it."

"I already give you crap, why not?"

She stared at him incredulously and sighed "It's someone I met online, I've never seen him in person or anything. But he's someone I can talk to honestly and not have to worry, it's like he understands me better than anyone else."

Derek started to chuckle a little and then cleared his throat "You're serious?"

"See!" she hissed "I knew I shouldn't have told you!"

"I'm sorry." he mumbled "I just thought you were joking, usually the scary online stalker stories have gotten to people by now."

"Well not me, I don't see him as being a stalker."

"Are you sure it's a he? What if it's a five hundred pound woman who never leaves her bed and gets a kick out of tricking you."

"Now you're making fun of me."

"No, I'm concerned, friends can be concerned right?" he asked "What is the screen name?"

"I am not giving you his screen name!" she gasped "You'll be his creepy stalker."

"I promise you that I would not, nor could I stalk him." he said then mumbled "I'm not very savvy with netiquette."

She glared at him for a moment and finally caved for a reason she wasn't aware of.

"Dash 1-0-9." she confessed.

"How suave." he said raising his brow "He sounds dashing...or maybe he's not and since no one can really see him, he makes himself sound that way."

"Only you would be that egotistical." she rolled her eyes "Maybe it's his initials."

She looked away and missed his facial expression fall into shock, he recovered before she looked back at him.

"What's with the 1-0-9?" he asked "His address? The last three digits in his social security number?"

"Probably his birthday." she said shaking her head, he feigned a frowned and shook his own head.

"Oh I know!" he smirked "Maybe he has a hundred and nine zits on his back that he'll have you pop after he takes you prisoner."

"You're disgusting!" she giggled. The tickle that her giggle had in his ears made him break out into his own chuckle, her eyes sparkled a little and her giggle died "See why can't you be that person outside of this room?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"That fun, joking, laughing kind of guy. Why can't you be him with everyone else?"

"I told you, I don't know how."

"Obviously you do to some degree." she rolled her eyes "Maybe you need to relax a little."

"Maybe."

"Oh, by the way. I think Jorge has a tumor." she mumbled "I told George to tell you but he told me to so, here I am.. Telling you."

"Do you do that a lot?" he asked.

"What?"

"Ramble on and on like that?"

"Sometimes." she frowned.

"It's cute." he smiled "But I would keep it at a minimum around your mother, bosses tend not to like ramblers."

Meredith creased her brow and tightened her eyes as she recalled the familiarity and de ja vue feeling at the phrase, just then Derek's pager went off and broke her out of her thoughts.

"I have to go." he said after glancing at it "But thanks for the advice. And after I remove the nails, I'll order a CT to check for a tumor."

She nodded "Thanks for your advice too."

"Keep your chin up." he smiled before jogging out of the room. She stared after him, his eerily familiar words still rang in her head.

"No." she giggled to herself and shook her head in disbelief "No way."

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