A rundown of my week every goddamn week.
Monday: Go to school, get home, go to Dan's.
Tuesday: Go to school, get home, do homework, go to Dan's
Wednesday: Go to school, get home, Tyler comes over so I can tutor him, do homework, go to Dan's.
Thursday: Go to school, get home, go to Dan's, do homework.
Friday: Go to school, have Tyler over, go to Dan's.
Saturday: Go to Dan's.
Sunday: Go to Dan's, do homework.
I can't even deal with the fact that I am forced to go. But, lately it hasn't been so bad. It's been kind of fun actually. Dan and I play video games while our mums chat and Dan smiles sometimes, which is nice. I like to see his true smile because it lets me know he hasn't changed completely. I'm not totally right though, because Dan still does throw the occasional 'I hate you' at me, but somehow I know he's lying.
"Phil, c'mon!" My mum called. I got in the car and drove to Dan's house. It was different this time though.
"Hey Phil," Dan opened his bedroom door before I knocked, which was different. He also called me Phil, which was very different.
"Hi Dan," I said confused, his face oddly close to mine.
"Want to play halo?" He asked eagerly. I nodded and sat down on his bed as he set it up.
"You're different today," I informed him. He shrugged and sat next to me, another different thing. He usually sat in a chair.
"I've just been thinking."
"What about?" He looked worried to talk and bit his lip, which made my breath hitch because oh my God he looked so perfect, and I could have sworn everything paused for a moment.
"Phil, I don't know what has gotten into me, okay? One second I hate you and the next I'm forgetting we aren't friends, because I can't stop thinking about all the good times we used to have together, and it hurts. I want to wake up and get excited knowing I get to walk through the trees to school with my best friend and knowing how much fun we will have. I want to be able to call someone whenever I'm sad or nervous or scared, but there isn't anyone like that anymore. When I had to leave you, I knew I had to leave everyone else. You deserve a reason, but I don't know how to give it to you." His eyes were about to spill over with tears and his hands shook, and then it all clicked. Why I had to talk to Louise, why he was always nervous, why he left, it all made so much sense.
"Your dad?" I asked, my voice broken and thick.
"Um- yeah, yeah, my dad. That was easier than I thought," He said softly as his voice shook, laughing nervously at the end. I shook my head and looked up at him.
"Why though? What did he do?" Dan's fists clenched slightly and he got angry.
"What didn't he do? He despised me for a while, always complaining about how he wanted the perfect son. Eventually he tore down Adrian to the point of leaving the house. I had to deal with it alone, so it got harder. He called me a faggot because he thought we dated or something. I don't know, but it bothered me. I wanted it to stop, so I knew I needed to change. I wanted to avoid leaving you, but I couldn't. I didn't know how much more I could bare, so I figured someday I'd tell you and we could leave and I'd live with you and your mum and my mum would leave my dad and visit, but I was so wrong! You wouldn't give up, so I had to tell you lies and act like I hated you, but it just made everything worse. I've had to go through over a year without friends, without anyone. I might have gone slightly insane, but I do know how I feel about you, and I don't hate you."
"Dan, I can't say the same." I felt my heart shatter at my words because of the truth in them, and I watched as Dan's face sank and he broke into tears.
"Phil, please. I know I've been horrible, but can we be friends again? I'm just asking for one lousy friendship." We both laughed sadly and I hugged him as he cried.
"I could try." Dan's arms tightened around me and I think mine might have tightened too.
"I'm never letting go, okay?" He whispered.
"Yeah, okay." And we might have stayed like that for a while, because it felt so nice to have a best friend again. At least, my old friend back. The best part was this hug wasn't like the old ones, because now I knew what drove him away, and it felt like I had saved him. I hoped I had.
~*~
The rest of the day was spent me considering the pros and cons of dan's friendship and whether I wanted to through with it or not. For all I knew he could be lying.
"Phil, can we play a different game?" Dan complained after our twenty something round of sonic.
"No! I need to beat this level!" Dan laughed at me as I spoke.
"You've messed up tons of times already, at least give me a try?" I pouted and handed him the control when I died yet again.
"Thanks," He said, finishing the level easily.
"No fair," I moaned pushing him lightly. He laughed at me again and pushed me back.
"This is nice," He said quietly, hiding his small smile.
"Yeah," I agreed, but I was still nervous. I couldn't trust him, not at all. Hopefully he wouldn't break me again.
~*~
"Hi Phil," Tyler cooed as I walked up to his locker. His lips touched mine softly as I saw Dan across the hall. I closed my eyes but felt guilty. I don't know what, but something felt wrong about it. It was like I was hurting somebody.
"Hey," I replied breathlessly, my heart beating quickly. Kissing someone always made me nervous after.
"Still making Dan jealous?" He whispered. I smirked and nodded.
"Yeah, but for different reasons now." Tyler furrowed his eyebrows as I carelessly draped my arm around his shoulders.
"What do you mean?" He questioned. I smiled as my butterflies grew and caught a glimpse of Dan, my heart beating quickly. I shrugged and smiled at Tyler.
"I like teasing him," I insisted, my heart race slowing.
"Okay. . ." Tyler said.
~*~
Dan's poems were getting more and more intriguing, and I found myself taking more and more pages from his book. I read over my favorite one again.
Drown in my eyes and let my kisses bring you air
Someone always has to lose, I know that it's not fair
No matter how you play your cards I've got the better hand
My silly game is more complex than you can understand
I pull you in with lipstick stains but keep some apathy
My happiness is only fueled by lust and misery
Even though I leave my mark you'll always beg for more
I'm a shiny poisoned apple, and I'm rotten to the core
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a:n/ Sorry for the short chapter but I hope you enjoyed?
-are things moving to fast or to slow or just right?
-vote
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-I'm listening to maybe from Annie and I'm emotional now
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For Our Parent's Sakes (Phanfiction)
FanfictionEverything was like a puzzle that had yet to be put together. It was like all the pieces were there, but you didn't know where to connect them and how they fit in. Dan was the puzzle, and I wanted to know how to solve it.
