The Unexplainable You.

Part Eleven. Asher.

My head is throbbing far beyond normal, blurring my vision and making me want to curl up and wait for the pain to subside.

I shakily reach out and touch the nurses button, hearing the almost silent beep as I wait.

It feels like forever until Rachel comes in, leaning over me with worry frozen in her eyes.

"Hey, hey Asher, talk to me bud, what's wrong?"

I shake my head, struggling to hide my tears. 

"Asher, you need to talk to me, I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

I nod, even the small movement sending flashing pain through my entire body. 

The steady beeping speeds up, quickly until it's almost a steady sound. Like when Genesis and I would learn morse code as children and tap it to each other against tables and through walls.

"Oh my-" Someone mumbles somewhere far off, their voice so quiet it feels like a memory. A wave of voices builds around me, panic and calm, loud and quiet, male and female climb up to a pounding wave, splashing over me.

Wind falls over me, freezing me to the bone.

"We need to get him on the NG tube. His heart rate is dropping rapidly."

Lights shine above me and I cry out in pain. I just want it to stop.

 As if granting my wish, the world dims around me, and I let out a quiet sob of relief.

The stars are bright above me, the wind freezing my skin. You never realize how much you miss somewhere until it's taken away. 

I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital for a while, bacteria and all. On my thirteenth birthday, my nurses set out a super protective way for me to watch the meteor shower I had been talking about for weeks.

My best friend sat next to me, his hands propped behind his head.

"Pretty cool, man."  He hummed. "I didn't get the hype before but... Wow, this is pretty great."

I grinned at him, my mask brushing against my cold cheeks. My nurses one requirement was that we both had to wear masks and weren't allowed to touch. But it wasn't too big of a deal.

I took in a deep breath, the cold air freezing my throat.

"This is amazing."  I breathed, my eyes fixed on the stars, falling and leaving trails across the pitch black abyss, the sight bringing tears to my eyes.

My head is pounding when I open my eyes, but that's not the thing that makes me gag. It's the feeling of a snake creeping down my throat. I swallow, the thing creeping deeper. I  feel across me cheek, tracing the snake to a piece of tubing taped to the right side of my face. 

"What..." I breathe, my stomach twisting, maybe from the thing in there.

My fingers find their way to the nurses button, but I can't make them put pressure on anything. No matter how hard I try, my hands won't work. I try to suck in a deep breath, but the tube in my throat makes it hard.

Tears come to my eyes as I get caught in a vicious circle. Hyperventilating, trying to calm myself down, feeling the tube in my throat, hyperventilating again.

I hear something from the corner of my room, and I wish I could see who it was, but I can't seem to turn my head.

"Help." I manage to rasp out.

"Oh my gosh," I hear someone mumble. Footsteps against tile, heavy panicked breathing around me.

"Asher." A voice says over me, her brown hair falling in her face. "Do you want me to get a nurse?"

I manage to shake my head. "No, I'm okay. Don't tell anyone."

Portland nods, offering her hand to me. "Come on. If we're gonna get out of here, we have to go now. One of the nurses is gonna be back within the next seven minutes."

I squint my eyes at her, almost believing that she's fake. She's too... Perfect

"Go? Where are we going?" I ask, sitting up slowly, so not to make myself light-headed.

"It's a surprise."

I roll my eyes, grabbing my wheelchair from beside the bed and lifting myself into it.

"What are we gonna do about this?" She asks, gesturing to the IV pole behind me. I turn my head, tracing the tube taped to my face to a bag of milky liquid hanging from one of the hooks.

"We can probably just disconnect it." I reply, twisting at the nob, my hands shaking. Maybe from nerves, maybe from medical conditions. Nobody knows.

I finally got it disconnected, the stuff dripping out for a second onto the tiled floor. I hope it wasn't too important.

She smiles, the expression lighting up the room like a new LED lightbulb.

"Are we gonna get in trouble for this?" I ask as she pushes me out of the room, looking both directions down the hall before running down the hall, the wind against my face putting a smile on my face.

"Not if we don't get caught." She replies, laughing. I can't help but laugh with her, the feeling foreign, but not bad. I haven't laughed in as long as I can remember.

I've never seen the halls this empty, It's as if she planned this for weeks, just to get the perfect time, where we would never be caught.

She grins at me as she pushes the button for the elevator. 

Her long hair is dishevled, giving her a tired look. Beautiful, but tired nonetheless.

"you know," I tell her as she pushes my into the elevator. "If you need to get some rest, that's totally fine." 

She gives me a sharp glare, quickly shutting me up.

"I'm fine." She says, her tone not even closely matching her expression. "If I didn't want to do this, I wouldn't have come to get you, would I?"

I shrug, leaning against the back of the chair. I make an effort to keep a straight face, but on the inside I'm going crazy. She's different from any other girl I've ever met, she doesn't even seemed fazed by my illnesses. It's kinda nice if I'm being honest, not to have anyone to impress. Not like I'm not trying to impress her, but you know I'm not not trying to impress her, I'm just... You know what, nevermind.

My heart starts beating harder in my chest as we exit the hospital, the wind chilling my skin. I wish I would have brought a coat, but I can't say that now. Wouldn't want her to think I'm a wimp.

We walk down the street in silence, but not the awkward silence everyone's always talking about. It's comfortable, like there's no need to say anything.

She pushes us down a hill, telling me quickly to 'hold on' as we bump over the rocks scattered over the path.

The moon is bright over us, reflecting on the lake as we sit. 

"Are you ever scared?" She asks, startling me from my thoughts. I look at her, her tan face covered in the light from the sky, giving off a kind of aura, like an angel.

"Of what?"

She doesn't look at me when she replies.

"Are you ever afraid to die?"

I bite my lip, looking out over the lake, the way the wind ripples the water, the feeling of knowing that even after I'm gone, this lake will always be here, when Portland starts a family, grows old, this lake with always be here.

"I'm afraid of leaving unfinished. I'm afraid of being forgotten."

I look at her, but she doesn't meet my eyes.

"what's wrong Portland?" I ask. From her expression, the glass of her eyes, the tightness in her face I know that she gets what I mean.

"You know the place between explainable and unexplainable? That's where I am right now. They can't seem to explain what I am, but they can't seem to explain what I'm not either. I'm just... stuck."