The Unexplainable You.

Part Sixteen. Portland.

After almost a week in the hospital, sleeping in my own bed in my own room feels like a miracle. How can Asher even get any sleep in those horrible hospital beds?

There he is again, invading my thoughts like tapeworm.  Not like I'm calling him a tapeworm or anything, but like tape worms are super invasive, but not like that, I mean.... Yep, nevermind. Forget anything ever happened.

Don't tell him. He would never let me live it down

But despite having my bed back, and finally being able to sleep in silence, I can't shut my brain off. I roll over, peering at the clock.  2:48 AM. 

Great.

My mom went to bed hours ago, and Andy is sleeping over at his best friends house. That leaves Malachi, who might possibly be awake at this hour. 

So quietly, I slip on a pair of fuzzy socks and an oversized t-shirt over my sports bra and shorts. Still shivering despite the new layer of clothing.

I creep down the hallway as soundless as possible, avoiding the spots on the floor that creak and not taking to big of steps down the wooden stairs so my footsteps don't echo.

When I reach the far corner of the basement, the faint sound of video gaming noises vibrate the carpeted floor. Sure enough, my brother never sleeps.

I knock faintly on the door, not wanting to startle him.

I shouldn't have come down here, he might just want to be alone. He might not want his anxious baby sister to come bother him at three in the morning. I mean, who would want a troubled teen knocking on their door at the buttcrack of dawn-

"Bambi?" Mal groans, running his hand through his matted hair. His gaming headphones hang around his neck, his chest bare.

"Yeah" I mumble, almost laughing at the stupid childish nickname. "I couldn't sleep."

He stares at me, his blue eyes rimmed with red.

I bite my lip, raising my eyebrows "So uh, can I come in?"

"Oh, yeah, uh of course," he says quickly, like I just unpaused a movie. He opens the door a bit wider, letting me into his cluttered room. On his bedside table are about ten empty water bottles and four half eaten bags of chips, the whole room smells like a sweaty soccer player.

"So what's up?" He asks, plopping down on his unmade bed and gesturing for me to do the same. I hesitantly follow his lead, gently sitting my rear end on his crumb-covered mattress. I can feel the chip salt sticking to the backs of my bear legs. I'll have to shower later for sure.

"I just couldn't sleep, I guess." I shrug, suddenly feeling very awkward in this place that should be so comfortable for me.

"Oh."

I grimace, running my fingers through my greasy hair. I don't really know what to say. I feel like I should leave, but I don't want to be alone.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" He asks, gesturing to the tv showing a video game pause screen.

My stomach turns as I nod, curling into my brothers strong arms. I don't feel good, but I know that being with my brothers always makes me feel so much better.

He leans back, pulling me into his lap as he scrolls through his wide selection of disney movies. After a few minutes, we both agree on the movie where my namesake stems from. Bambi.

I fall asleep before the intro is even halfway finished, held close to Mal's warm body.

***

"Where did you go last week?" My friend Alyssa asks as her, Ronnie and I walk to our next class.

Ronnie beats me to the answer first. "Her dad took Portland on a trip to celebrate her getting all A's on her report card."

Reminder: Thank Ronnie later.

"Oh, that's so cool!" Alyssa exclaims, grasping onto my arm, "You are SO lucky! The only thing I got when I got straight A's was more homework."

I blush, smiling. "Well, my dad's a pilot, so he just had to pay a little bit to borrow the plane for a few days."

"But still!"

I open my mouth to reply with some sort of smart defense, but someone rams me to the ground before I get the chance. I smack my head on the linoleum floor, spots flooding my vision.

"Oopsies!" Someone exclaims, laughing. "I didn't see you there, Oregon. Which is weird, because you take up half the hallway with those huge thighs of yours!"

Allie Reynolds: The local 'popular girl'. Everyone loves her, everyone except me, I guess. Guys want to date her, girls want to be her, and teachers know that if they give her a bad grade they'll find pushpins on their chairs and frogs in their bags for weeks.

She's always been after me, maybe because I'm one of the most mundane girls you'll ever meet, maybe because I have a family who loves me. But either way, it doesn't make the pain any less.

"Leave her alone Allie." Ronnie protests as he helps my up. "She's never done anything to you, why don't you just mind you're own business?"

My legs shake and I lean against Alyssa for support. 

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Gosh, please don't cry.

"Rumor has it." Allie continues, flipping her perfectly blonde hair. "That you spent the last week in the hospital?"

She looks at Ronnie, her eyes full of competitive fire. "It might do you some good to find a new best friend, Ronald. Maybe not one who looks like she indulged too much at lunch."

"Shut up Allie." Ronnie almost yells. Tears creep into my eyes, and I feel like I'm gonna pass out.

"Ronnie." I mumble, my words slurred.

"She's never been anything but nice to you, what is your problem?"

"Ronnie." I try again, the world spinning. I'm burning up, I want to shed my jacket, but I can't get my arms to stop shaking long enough to even try.

He opens his mouth to yell at her, but he looks at me first. His anger drops instantly.

"Ronald." Alyssa says. "Ronald, shes freezing."

He sends Allie one last warning glare before scooping me up into his arms, which are thin as angel hair pasta. But despite that, he still manages to keep me off the ground as he rushes me to the nurses office.

"Ronnie." I breathe "Ronnie, I'm okay, really."

"Shh" I instructs. "I got you, just relax."

I open my mouth to say something, but the world goes black around me.

You gotta be kidding me.