The Unexplainable You.

Part Thirty-Six. Asher.

I know that the trip is for me, but seeing the light in Portland's eyes as we exit the airport, that makes everything I've been through worth it.

"Oh my goodness!" She exclaims as the taxi drives us to our hotel. "There are so many bookstores here, I mean, I think we just passed the tenth one in just the past five minutes."

I laugh at her childishness as she presses her face against the window, her eyes filled with wonder.

I wish she could see herself the way I see her, because in my eyes she's perfect.

***

We have two rooms that Make-A-Wish is providing us with. In the taxi we decided that since Portland knows the most about the attention I need, she's staying in my room and Mal and Mrs. Cormwell are staying in a room across the hall.

I guess it would be every guys dream, to stay in a locked hotel room with his girlfriend, but me? Gosh, I'm terrified. I mean, if there was any time in the entire time we've been hanging out to scare her away, this would be the time.

I don't know, I guess I'm just so close to this rollercoaster ending, that I don't want to lose my partner in the freefall.

"So," She states, flopping down on one of the beds. "It's about 8:30, but we have a big day tomorrow, and I don't know how long it takes to get everything set up with you."

She trails off, lifting her head so she can look me in the eyes. 

"How long does it take to set everything up?"

I shrug, glancing at the two suitcases pushed in the corner of all my medical supplies.

"It depends on who's doing it and how tired they are."

She nods slowly, shrugging her shoulders. "I guess we better get started then."

I don't know what she expected to happen, but as soon as I actually pulled everything out, her face freezes in shock.

"That, that's a lot of stuff." She stutters as I lay it all out on the floor. The supplies, the bag, the tubing, the pump, a stack of wipes, sanitary tray, gloves. I guess it's just I'm used to it, it's not as scary anymore, but to someone like her... Man, this must be weird,

"Yeah," I laugh, my hands setting everything up before my mind even has to process what I'm doing. Sliding on a pair of latex gloves, sanitizing the tubing, pulling out a pack of syringes wrapped in plastic.

"Do you need any help?" She asks, leaning forward on her knees, examining what I'm doing like it's the most interesting thing she's ever set her eyes on.

I shrug, my eyes not leaving my work, thin and smooth fingers gliding over clear packaging, "If you want, it won't take as long. I mean, if you can catch on pretty quickly."

She laughs lightly, getting up and kneeling down next to me, sliding on a pair of purple gloves and grabbing a sanitary tray from the stack in the corner.

"Don't worry I'm smarter than I look."

I grin back at her, kissing her lightly on the forehead in reply.

"Yes you are, my love. Yes you are."

***

"You weren't joking about it taking forever!" She laughs as we both flop back onto one of the beds after an hour of struggling with all the feed and tubing, we finally got me all hooked up. Like a robot.

"yeah," I laugh, "I don't joke about stuff like that."

We sit in comfortable silence, the only sound being my lungs wheezing for air.

"So," I hum finally, rolling over to face her. "Now you've seen... pretty much everything in my life. Everything besides, maybe my mom, and my house."

She laughs, fingering my hair. "I do want to meet your parents, at some point."

"Mom," I correct her. "My dad left when I was little."

She grimaces, like I just gave her the worst news. "My mom left when I was in fifth grade."

I would never wish that on anyone, but at the same time, it's nice to have something more to bond over. I mean, not like theater and dying isn't enough, but still.

"We moved here when I was eleven, and that was when I met Ronald."

She sits up, her eyes defined with dark purple and black circles. I wish she would get some sleep, she needs it.

"I'm glad you moved." I tell her, gripping her palm tightly in mine. "Because if you wouldn't have then we wouldn't have met.'

She nods solemly, tucking her chin to her chest.

"It's not like I had anything keeping me there."

If someone walked in, the probably would have suffocated from the pure emotion radiating off of Portland.

I sit up next to her, wrapping my thin arms around her waist and resting my head on her shoulder. I don't know what to say,  but I know what always makes her happier. Hugs.

So we sit there, her head in her hands, my head on her shoulder, arms wrapped around her as tight as I can possibly muster.

"Can you promise me something?"

I glance up at her, my joints aching as I barely move. "Maybe, depends."

"Promise me," She breathes. "Promise me that this won't be the last time I get to help you."

I laugh, running my fingers across her back. "You can help me when we get back, if you want?"

"No," she protests, sitting up quickly, tears in her eyes. "I want you to promise that there'll be more moments like this. Together. I want more moments where both of us are happy, and overall feeling healthy."

She looks down at me, tears in her eyes.

"It's not fair Ash," She chokes out, caressing my cheek. "Why us?"

I shake my head, desperately wanting to kiss her anger and pain away.

"I don't know, my love."