The Unexplainable You.

Part Twenty. Portland

This is the hardest part about hospitals. You never know when your closest friend may become a memory.

I hold Asher in my arms, letting him sob into my shirt until his crying reduces itself to sniffles before leading him back to my room. I sit him on my bed, wiping his tears away with the corner of my sweatshirt sleeve.

"She'll be okay." I whisper to him, running my hand through his hair. "She's gonna be fine."

"I know," He chokes out, "This has happened twice before, but I didn't think it would happen this close to the last episode."

I nod, the gearing in my head spinning to million miles an hour.

"What's wrong with her? Not to be rude, but I just don't know."

He nods, his eyes fixated on my fuzzy blanket. "She has type A childhood alzheimer's. They said that most people with the disease die before their twenty. Whenever this happens, she usually has a severe memory lapse, and usually loses a major body function. Last time this happened was just a few days ago, and she lost her ability to walk. They said she was gonna be okay, they promised!" 

He falls into another sobbing fest, crying into my arms. Sobs racking his shoulders, just the sight makes me hurt. I've barely met this girl and I already can tell how important she is to everyone who she comes in contact with.

"She's all I have left, Portland. She's the only one that keeps me from going insane."

I put my finger under his chin, lifting his eyes to face me.

"She's all you used to have, Now you have me. And I promise you, I am never leaving you."

His eyes hold a question, so I lean in and give him a quick kiss again. "Never."

***

We end up laying in my bed watching a really stupid cartoon with even worse editing. But it makes Asher laugh, so we watch until he falls asleep, his breath even.

Someone knocks at the door and I almost get up, but he looks so peaceful, so I just call "Come in."

A short girl with black hair and chocolate skin steps in, anger and hurt plastered on her face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alyssa asks, scanning the room with those hawk-like eyes of hers. "You lied right to my face, I can't believe you. You promised after Levi died you would never keep any secrets from me, but here we are!"

I bite my lip, trying to keep myself from crying. "I'm sorry Alyssa, I didn't mean to. But I thought if you knew, you wouldn't want to be my friend."

I thought the comment would change her expression, make her sad and say 'no of course not, I'll always be your friend.' But no, instead she had to go on and say.

"I would never not want to be your friend because you're sick. I would however not want to be your friend if you lied to me. Which, you did. So I don't know anymore."

She gives me a hard stare. I try to find some sort of remorse, but there is none. 

"My mom's waiting outside." She says. "I'll see you at school."

Once she leaves is when I actually let myself cry.

My sobbing wakes Asher up.

*Mentally kicking myself.* "Dang you, why can't you cry quieter??"

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"Nothing," I reply quickly, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Talk to me." He cups my face in his hand and brushes his thumb across my cheek. 

"One of my best friends came by, and she didn't know I was in the hospital and she got mad at me for not telling her, and... I don't know anymore."

He nods, pulling me into a hug and rubbing the back of my head. He lets me cry into him like I did for him not too many hours ago, but before I know it, a nurse comes in saying that he needs to start Asher on his meds for the night.

"Okay," He tells the nurse. "Give me a second."

Asher gives me a smile, kissing me gently on the forehead.

"You know where I'm at." He tells me. "If you need anything, please just come get me."

I nod, wiping the tears from my redend cheeks "I love you."

He blushes, a huge smile covering his features like the world just gave him the greatest present. 

"Goodnight, my love. Sleep well."

I give him a weak smile, fighting to keep myself from crying again, at least until he leaves.

But when the door closes behind him, and the lights leave, that's when I let myself sob. I sob because I'm in pain, but I also sob for Ashers pain, for Harlows pain. I sob for losses too. For the loss of my best friend, and Levi's loss, despite how much he fought. And I don't stop crying until I fall asleep.