The Unexplainable You.

Part Fifteen. Asher

This chapter is dedicated to my own hot girl w/ stomach problems. You know who you are ;) Thank you for being my spoonie sister.

I lay on my bed long after my conversation with Portland. By now she's probably already halfway home. I stare at my hand again, her handwriting smooth on my pale skin, the marker making my skin look snow white.

I have the entire message to her typed in my phone, waiting to be sent, but I can't make myself send it. What if I mess up? What if I say something stupid and she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore? I forgot how much I love company, and she's been the best type of company. Kinda compassionate, like the person I wish I could be.

I so desperately wanted her to stay, but i've seen how hospitals wear on peoples mental health, and I don't think I could ever bear for Portland to lose that bright light inside of her, I just couldn't.

Someone knocks at the door, peeking their head into my door.

"Hey dude," My friend Harlow says, smiling at me with her crooked grin. "Some of the nurses are putting on a puppet show for some of the autoimmune babies, you wanna come?"

I shrug, pushing myself up into my wheelchair. "I guess so, I'm always up to watch Tate and Rachel make the kids laugh."

She grins, leading me out the door.

Harlow James: One of my best (And only) Friends since I came here two years ago. She comes in on and off, but she hasn't left in a few months. Shes been diagnosed with NPC, or childhood Alzheimer's. They've given her about two and a half years to live. Sometimes she forgets little things, like she forgets to call her dad after I've reminded her, and sometimes she forgets more important things, like me, for instance. 

I follow her down the hall, the sounds of laughing children growing louder by the second. No matter what mood I'm in, seeing the little autoimmune kids always puts a smile on my face.

The nurses have set up a large box in front of a crowd of kids, all of them no older than ten.

I think back to when I was one of those autoimmune babies, seven years old, going through Lupus treatment, which I still do, but that's besides the point.

I remember that my mom would rarely visit, with her having to work and Gen would never have the time, with school work and everything. These shows that the staff put on her the highlights of my day in the dark world I was living in.

We sit in the back of the room, observing the little kids laugh as the puppets bump choppily along through the scene.

"How are you?" I lean over and ask her. 

She barely looks at me, shrugging. "Some days are better than others, though I couldn't in a million years tell you if yesterday was good or bad."

I bite my lip, trying to imagine my life without her. It would be empty, that's for sure.

"And how are you?" She questions, gesturing to the feeding tube taped to my face "What's this all about?"

"Just something to slow the indefinite." I reply flippantly.

She sighs, leaning against me for support as she reties her cherry red converse way too tightly around my ankles. "Hot boy with stomach problems, Yeah?"

I nod, smiling at her perfect description of me.

"I'm sorry," She says, "I know it's hard."

I nod, my throat choked up. "Stomach paralysis. Can't eat much of anything anymore."

She doesn't look at me, probably thinking back through my obsession with food, how I eat more then my mom and sister combined, and now I can't

"I probably have to get back to my room." I tell her quietly, giving her a quick hug. "Gotta get some rest. Didn't really sleep last night."

She nods, standing up and pushing me down the hallway. She's one of the only people I let help me, I hate asking for help.

"Love you dude," She tells me once we're outside my room "Do whatever you need to do."

I nod, giving her a small smile. "Call your dad Harley,"

She sends me a fake glare "It's Harlow, you idiot.

***

Finally after a lot of debating, deleting and rewriting, I finally have the perfect message to send through to Portland.

'Hey Portland, I hope you got home safe. It's been really really nice to hang out with you for the past few days. I've been a bit lonely recently, so it's been really nice to be with someone my age, so thank you. If you ever want to come back and visit, I'm always free.
Talk to you soon.
-This is Asher BTW