I was a virtuous wife

Chapter 15: Foolish love

Why did Kierra love Jonathan ? To be honest, Kierra didn't have a particular reason for that. 

They were simply introduced to each other for a political marriage. The Alden family needed the dowry to manage their lands and the marquis wanted Kierra to marry a man with a higher status. The Aldens needed the money while the Vontons needed power. So the union of the two families was because of mutual benefits.

Kierra wasn't surprised since she already expected to have an arranged marriage. Thankfully, Jonathan seemed like a good and polite man. Whenever they met or spent time together, he treated her with respect. He was also good looking and charming. He looked pleasing to the eyes and so was his personality. 

"Are you alright with marrying me, Sir Jonathan ?"

"Of course. Why would I not be ?"

"It's just that men don't prefer women like me so...."

"Lady Kierra, don't be so hard on yourself. You are smart and beautiful. What more could I ask for ? You should have more pride in yourself."

"Are you alright with marrying me ?"

"Yes ? Yes..."

"Then please ease your concerns. As long as you don't have any problems with me, I would like you to be my wife."

He said all that with a kind smile on his face. He wasn't pitying her, it was his real feelings. Kierra remembered that was the first time she had blushed for any man. 

He was different. 

Suddenly, she found her heart racing whenever she saw him. Whenever he smiled, she smiled. The time she spent with him felt short and as each day passed by, she wanted to be with him longer.

For the first time in her life, she wanted to pretty for a man. She wanted him to like her and compliment her. So she put more effort towards her appearance and how she behaved. She started dressing more feminine and acted more gently. She kept doing that since she always saw desirable results. 

"Lady Kierra, you are more beautiful than you think you are."

"I saw some roses and was immediately reminded of you. They are lovely and fragrant as you are."

"Did you like the sweets ? Lady Kierra eating sweets is the most adorable thing I've ever seen."

He showered her with sweet words she had never heard of. He always gave her sweets and flowers whenever they met. He protected her and took care of her like a fragile flower. To Kierra, who was always said to have no charm as a woman and was similar to a man, Jonathan made her feel like a lady again. 

But she did have her doubts if he loved her or not. He always wore a smile but never showed strong emotions. He was polite but never took initiative. 

 Jonathan treated her like a pure maiden so she was concerned if he would want her as a woman. After all, they were six years apart in age and Jonathan had always maintained his physical distance from Kierra. 

They held hands only after their engagement and occasionally hugged whenever they met. The first time they kissed each other was during their wedding oath ceremony. That was it. 

But her worries disappeared during their first night after their wedding.

Kierra was nervously waiting for him in the master bedroom. She was clothed in a racy silk nightgown. She was bathed in scented oils and smelled of fresh roses. Her heart was racing and she kept fidgeting. 

Jonathan entered the room and slowly made his way towards her. He was clothed in a long robe and also smelled sweet. 

"Your grace ?"

"My wife..."

"Your grace..."

Both of them were tense and nervous. Just because Kierra was a virgin, it didn't mean that she was clueless about how a man and woman made love. All noble woman get sex education after their engagement and are briefed about how it worked. But she was still nervous since she had never been this intimate with Jonathan before. 

"Just breathe and relax. I'll take care of everything."

Kierra still remembers her having mixed feelings the morning after they slept together. Of course, she was full of nerves but something felt missing. 

She heard from other noble women that making love felt more exciting and passionate. Sleeping together made them feel more connected and loved. It was like they were imprinting a deeper bond with each other. They also said that it's like an addiction and that even imagining about it will get you excited. 

But Kierra was just fine. Her body was a little sore and her back ached. Even though the pain subsided as the night went on, she didn't feel immense pleasure like they said she would. 

She also didn't feel any changes between her and Jonathan. He was sweet to her like usual and will occasionally kiss her on the cheek. But other than he didn't make any other physical contact. 

The only time they had sex was during the room share once a week. Jonathan would sometimes even cancel the room share saying he was busy or tired. 

But Kierra still loved him. She thought that this was how all couples were. Her parents weren't the most affectionate kind of people and she never had a relationship with another man. So she didn't know what was considered normal and what was not. 

Every time she doubted him, Jonathan would say some charming words or spend time with her which made her think that nothing was wrong. 

As the days went by, they started spending less time together. Jonathan would send letters or messages through the servants or visit her for a few minutes. Kierra's heart which often wanted to give up would see hope through those vague actions and convince herself that everything was normal.

But Jonathan's affair finally made Kierra see everything she had been ignoring. The same monotone letters that talked about his day, the numerous gifts which were always inexpensive flowers or sweets, the half hearted visits all seemed insincere now. 

Even in bed, Kierra never felt loved. He will always turn her over and face her back when they were doing it. He would never meet her eyes. He never called out her name either. He never stayed in bed the next morning and would leave early before she woke up. It felt like he was never concentrating on her. He was only focusing on the pleasure while thinking of something else, maybe he was even thinking of somebody else. 

 When Kierra thought of him thinking about Sierra while he was married to her, she felt disgusted. Disgusted not because of him but because of herself who was blinded by foolish love. 

Truthfully she had some hope that maybe this was all a nightmare and that Jonathan would return to her. But after seeing them together at the cottage, she woke up to her nightmarish reality. 

Her husband and her sister were having an affair. That was it. That was her reality. 

Her heart accepted that fact and at the same time buried her love for him. 

She no longer loved him. 

End of chapter 15.

Thank you for reading this chapter and hope you guys have been enjoying the story so far.

What would you say to Kierra if you had a chance? What made you guys fall out of love with your former partner(s) ? Have you guys experienced real heartbreak like this ? What would you advise Kierra to do to move on from Jonathan ? What do you guys think Kierra would do next ? 

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