✨Haikyuu✨Little Space/Age Regression✨Oneshots

🤍Not Again🖤

TW: Emetaphobia marked in between the ⚠️ emojis
Binge Eating Disorder!! If you are little right now I suggest you skip this one so proceed with caution!

     It was about 10pm, I just finished my homework and was getting ready for bed tired as a dog. I got all snuggled in. Today had been a great day, practice went great, I passed my test, it was the best day I've had in a while. I'm comfortable and tired in bed but for some reason I can't sleep. I try playing music but just end up lying there singing. I try instrumental but then I'm humming. I try white noise and rain noises but no. Ugh this is so stressful. I know why I'm up. I know why I can't sleep. I refuse to accept it. It can't be. I cant. Not tonight, not every night, why do I have to. Why do I feel the need to. Why can't I just be normal. Why do I look like this. Why is my body like this. Why......

      "Fuck it" I get up and walk to the kitchen. I open the fridge and look around. We have leftover cake from my little cousins birthday the other night. One piece won't hurt. I take the cake out along with a fork and eat my piece. "Okay I'm good now" I had all three meals today so why did I feel the need to eat that cake. Why do I always have to eat. Now it's become vc a habit, I have to eat before bed or I can't sleep. I thought it just made me feel better when I was sad but now it's all the time. I'm just eating and eating. I cant stop. It's like an addiction. The scale isn't changing but I still feel disgusting. How can I eat so much. God it's sickening when I think about it but in the moment, I don't, I don't think I just eat.

      I had eaten three pieces...... three pieces of cake... what do I do now? How do I go about this? When someone noticed how do I respond? Three pieces of cake are gone now and I can't put them back. Why did I do it. I start crying realizing I'm slipping. I run to the bathroom slamming the door behind me. ⚠️ I run to the toilet and look at my fingers. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself. I've done this many times before but for some reason this time is different. I throw up and I throw up again just at the thought of everything. I'm done⚠️

     I feel relieved for some reason. I like the feeling of being empty again. I look over at my phone and see a few missed texts from Akaashi. I fumble with my phone not caring about how dirty my hands are. I get it open and start yelling at the phone, I want my Akaashi but I don't know what to do. I remember what Akaashi said a while ago when I slipped. If I need help I can ask a lady on my phone "Siwi? I need Kaashi!" "Would you like to call 'Akaashi🖤' from your contacts?" My eyes lit up "Yes!!" "Calling 'Akaashi🖤'." The phone rang a few times and I finally hear Akaashis voice "Bokuto?"

     "Kaashi! Need Kaashi! Pease! Pease! Quick!" I could hear Akkashi rustle out of his bed sheets "Okay okay calm down baby calm down. It's okay Akaashi is right here for you. Okay? I'll come over but for now you have to wait a bit okay bud? Can you stay on the phone and talk to me while I get over there?" I snuggled loudly "Yesh...pease be quick..." I heard him sigh and his car door close "I'll be there soon honey. Now what happened..."

Once Akaashi got here and ran to my door and unlocked it with the spare key. He bursts open the bathroom door and I ran up to him giving him a hug. "Let's first get you cleaned up okay bub?" I nodded wiping my snotty nose with my already dirty hand. He started the bath and set me in it. I started playing with the faucet as it was on which led Akaashi to smile a little. "Can we talk about what happened now?" I whined in response "I know you don't want to but we have to baby. We need to learn new ways to cope and help you. I just want my baby boy to feel good again." Akaashi was talking and trying to come up with ideas while I just babbled to hun and played with my rubber ducky's in the bath.

       "Okay so from now on I'll have snacks in my backpack. I don't care how much you've eaten already, if you're hungry just ask. I'll love you no matter what and you know that, but we need you to love yourself no matter what as well. Just because your weight changes don't mean you're not healthy." We went into the kitchen to look at the food in my cabinets but I just slipped further and just sat in the kitchen floor playing with my feet and hands. Akaashi brought in toys for me to play with while he took everything he could out of packages and organized it into labeled containers. Anything he could remove from the packaging would have the calories marked out with a sharpie. He wanted to do everything for his baby boy. He looks over after he's done and Bo is passed out. He brings him to the couch and covers both of them up with a blanket falling asleep next to him.

Word count: 985

I'm sorry this wasn't really about Little space and it was more about the story line but I just have needed a place to vent recently and this is what has been happening to me. I hope you can forgive me but my next free will be back to normal agere content. I'm sorry again and thank you for your support <3