Her Last Wish

Her Last Wish - Chapter Nineteen

Her Last Wish
Chapter Nineteen
Sang
(Sunday)

I think I slept. If I did, it wasn't for long. I forced myself to stay in my bed once I had got myself in a taxi home. I didn't have my phone, my car was at Silas' house and I was drowning in feelings I didn't understand.

With a sigh, I look over at the window. The sun is already shining, another beautiful sunny day ahead. It doesn't match my mood. Knowing I can't wallow in self pity, I kick the covers off and climb out of bed, going straight for the bathroom to shower, washing away the night before.

Once I'm done, I dress in sweatpants, a tank, braid my hair and then use the landline to call for a taxi. I'll have to go and get my phone replaced tomorrow. Right now, I'm in avoidance mode, otherwise I would go to North's, get my car and then to Nathan's in hopes he picked up my phone.

Heaving a sigh, I make my way downstairs. There's really not much to do, with not being here for the last few days. My dirty clothes, my iPad, they're at Luke's, I think anyway. I don't know, the last few days have been such a blur, I can't seem to catch my breath quick enough.

When my taxi arrives I hop in and just watch the scenery go by as he takes me to the hospital. When I get there, Lily is sitting at reception but all I can do is give her a soft smile as I go to the elevator, waiting for the doors to open.

When they do, I'm surprised to find Uncle in the cart. He dressed in jeans and a grey T-shirt, a bandana around his head. He takes one look at me and sighs. "Oh, poppet." Do I look that bad?

A sad smile is all he gets before I ask. "Have you been to see her?"

He rubs at his jaw. "No. I was actually here to see Phil."

"Oh. Okay." I get in the cart, my finger hovering over Nan's floor number. "Are you leaving?"

Concerned eyes flick over my face. "No. I'll walk you to your Nan."

"Okay," I whisper, pressing Nan's floor number. He doesn't have to do that, but I can't find the energy to argue. We stand in silence; he watches me with those dark eyes of his and I stare blankly at the mirrored wall of the elevator, staring back at my reflection.

Yeah. I really do look that bad.

I drop my gaze to the floor.

The doors open and I shuffle my feet as I get off and walk down the hall to Nan's room. Uncle follows, hovering close behind me. Any other time, I would have just walked straight into Nan's room without knocking. Today, I hesitate. I haven't seen her since Friday. Does she look different? Does it look like she's dying? Does she still smell the same? She's been here almost a week, what if the bleach and antibacterial scent of the hospital is now clinging to her clothes and skin?

I push the door open.

Green eyes meet mine.

"Oh pretty."

Those words. The way she says it. That look on her face, the one that says she wishes she could help me but right now I can only help myself.

My eyes water and I clench my jaw, grinding my teeth. "I don't want to cry," I grind out through clenched teeth, my throat tight, nostrils flaring as I breathe in through my nose.

"You'll feel better once you do." She places Christian Grey down on the table, pushes it away and opens her arms. "Come here baby."

Uncle places a hand on the small of my back and guides me into the room. I do a quick sweep of the room, making sure we're alone...except for Uncle who follows me in and closes the door behind us. Nan shifts on the bed and gives it a pat with her hand. I kick off my trainers, not hesitating. I climb onto the bed, careful of the wires, and lay down beside her, facing her. Her wrinkly hand comes to my cheek. My eyes stay locked on hers as I continue to grind my teeth. It doesn't matter how much I try to stop the tears though. They still burn my eyes as they water to the surface, one leaking out from the corner of my eye.