Only One Weasley For Me

Worth It?

Lillith

"hey."

I jumped hearing a voice. I look up seeing Fred sitting at the end of my bed.

"Leave."

"I want to talk"

"and I want you to leave."

"Lillith just listen."

"mmmm let me think about this. I'll put this into good thought."

I tapped my chin with my finger looking around the room. Pacing the floors as if I'm making a big decision.

Fred stands up walking twords me. He stops in front of the line I'm pacing. I stop standing my back to his front.

I drop my hand.

" I have an answer." I say turning on my heals. He arches his brow at me.

I look at his eyes instantly regretting it. They're swollen again.

No Lillith don't. Stick to it.

"No." I said placing a fake smile on my face.

He looked at me in sorrow. As if he was almost pleading. I don't care. I want him out.

That's not the truth. I want to kiss him. Badly. Forgive him and just erase it from my memory. All the tears and pain he put my through.

I want it go back to how it was. I want to hold his hand. Feel the warmth as he used to pull me into hugs.

His hands on my waist. The pretty words he would say to me.

"I don't expect you to forgive me." Fred said breaking the silence between us.

"Well that's good." I said biting my tounge. "Was it worth it?" I asked. I want to know if the gallons were worth it. If faking everything was worth it.

He looked at me blankly not knowing what to say back.

"Come on Weasley. Wasn't it worth it?!" I said as I got closer to him.

I feel heat take me over. Not the kind to make your stomach flutter with butterflies. The kind that makes you want to scream and yell.

"Wasting all of that time. For some gallons. What you going to buy with it? Huh? Mmm maybe a nice new broom? Or how about save it for a nice house?" I said almost suggesting ideas.

"You want to scream and yell at me? That what you want to do. Do it Lillith. Fucking yell at me from the top of your lungs. Tell me how much you hate me. Anything to make you feel better. Come on." Fred finally said something back.

His words left me confused. He wants me to yell at him?

"come on." he said once more backing me up. I stumble a bit on my feet.

"You don't get to tell me to do shit. After what you pulled. You fucking peice of shit." as I'm saying these words I start to push on his chest making him step back.

"You did all of fucking that for some gallons and pride?! YOU MUST BE SO FUCKING HAPPY AREN'T YOU?!" I finally broke out yelling.

I kept slapping his chest as tears fall down my cheeks.

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU." I said pushing him. He stumbled back falling to the ground. I don't stop I fall to the ground climbing on top of him.

I continue slapping his chest.

"Lillith." Fred said softly almost scared to say anything.

"no, no, no just shut up please for fuck sake." I said scrambling to stand up.

He stood up with me trying to help me stand up. I quickly stumbled back not wanting him to touch me.

I'm scared if he touches me. I'll let him right back in. And let him hurt me again. I can't do that to myself.

" Why today. You could've done this any other day. But you had to do this the one day I finally felt pretty after what you did." I said barely above a whisper.

"Lillith your the most beautiful girl I have ever met." Fred replied just as softly. He started moving closer to me.

"Yeah, get closer then you can see I'm uglier up close." I said crossing my arms. I finally notice the one tear the slipped from his eye.

"don't tell me you believed that." he said sounding angry.

Are you kidding me? The guy who I thought was just as head over heels for me like I am for him told me I was ugly. And I was only a dare.

That everything was fake. And a lie. Nothing was true.

I shook my head letting a small laugh escape my lips.

"Did I forget something in the box? Is that why your here?" I spoke trying to cover the pathetic hiccups I always get when I cry.

He shook his head no.

"Then fucking leave." I said between my teeth.

He clenched his jaw walking past me twords the door.

"The thing is I never faked any of it. That's why it was so easy for me to do." were the words he spoke before walking out of the door.

Fuck him for saying that to me and just leaving.

I fall to the ground letting out the sob that I had been trying to hold in.

I crawl to my desk grabbing
a bottle of fire whiskey in the drawer. I take the lid off bringing it to my lips. I tilt the bottle letting the liquid go down my throat.

I tilt it back to normal as I feel the burn go down my throat. Cha Cha finally walks out from under the bed.

She moves twords me laying next to me. I place the bottle down bringing my knees to my chest. Letting all my tears out.

I can't even process what the hell just happened.