The Break Trough

part 121

month later
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[Zoe ]

Staying in that big house all alone was  toucher for me , after our guest left I felt like I was losing my mind I had to get out so I packed my bag and went home also , Langa came back  to JHB the weekend I went to Joy birthday, I decided to crash at KZN for a while I was only going to return back to JHB when school re-open.
MaSarah updated me everyday  on how Langa was doing working all day and not eating , but since we were not talking I just let him be , if he want space, space  is what I gave him ,
he did not even call me or texted me it was just killing me but what can I say I tried talking to him and he was not having it i'll wait for him till he see the need to talk to me.
it was a first time I felt this lonely I cried most night and blamed myself for the fight , I didn't even want to picture my life with out Langa, my Aunt and Keven were very accommodating I must admit and the Twine's kept me so busy that I found myself forgetting that I had relationship problems. Tomorrow school are re-open and today I had to go back to JHB  the minute I landed i wanted to go back home , but My aunt was not having it she still blames me for the fight I had with Langa , talk about family not being loyal yazi , she told me that i need to be patient with him and I must learn to be submissive he may be the love of my life and more of a friend towards me , but at the end of the day he is still a man  ... a Zulu man in fact and challenging him will only drift us apart.  I just got home and the first person I saw was our house keeper , I smiled at her
Ma’Sarah : “ hallo sisi “
Me : “ sawubona ma “
Her : “ how was your vacation , basaphila ekhaya? “
Me : “ it was good , and yes basaphila “
Her : “ well it's time for me to knock off , do you need anything from me before I go? “
Me : “ no thank you ma “
She took her bag and left , I drag my bag to our bedroom when I entered  Langa cologne filled my nostril I decided to take a long hot bath
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[Pam ]

I was  5 months going to 6  months pregnant but my body was slowly tiring down , my pregnancy was complicated I have been in and out of hospital that I’m even tired of all the medication,  the injection , hospital food I’m just tired ,Sbu was slowly going through depression and it drove him crazy that its beyond his control.
Dealing with a diagnosis of diabetes is tough enough but when it occurred during pregnancy its neve reeking  my doctors suspect  type 2  , There was this rush of information that I had to figure out  and  my body was too weak to process everything i had to learn to use insulin, test my blood glucose and count carbs all while my body was acting unpredictably, I’m just tired and the fear to miscarriage is just to frightening ,  Dr walked while I was lost in thought.
“ how you feeling today ? “
I just looked at him , isn’t it pretty obvious how I look and feel
Me : “ when am I getting out of here ? “
“ all due respect mam... your condition is slowly getting worse  treatment is not reacting well and being pregnant is coursing strain as well “
Me : “ you told ,me that yesterday ... what’s new ? “
I sigh ... my baby has not been active this past few days and it worried me , she hardly  kicked and I have been noticing blots of blood on my panty liner when I pee
Me : “ do you still remember what I told you ? “
Him : “ mam ... but we can still ... “
Me : “ I don’t want to hear it ... just do what you have to do and leave “
He sigh , Sbu walked in he looked drained and pale .. yet I thought I was the sick one but he looked worse
Him : “ how’s my wife Dr “
Dr : “ her blood sugar level has dropped drastically and nutrition is not passed on to the baby and ... “
I did let him continue “ you need to save my baby yezwa ... you need to make sure of that!  “
Sbu sat next to me and held my hand
Him : “ baby please “  his eyes were pleading with me but I can never be selfish and save my life ... my baby has to live ... I know the outcome of my situation and chances of surviving are slim I can only pray for miracle but the lord wish is final , I pray everyday that my baby make it.
Me : “ no Sbu ... the most important person in here is this baby ok ... your baby girl “ he held my hand and rested his forehead on it ...
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[Langa ]
The house was quiet I’m guessing she is upstairs I step into our bedroom and seat on the bed she in the bathroom , she doing the off key singing as usual that just put a smile on my face , I rub my hands together I’m so nervous ,
Zoe singing :
“Feelings, so deep in my feelings
No, this ain't really like me
Can't control my anxiety
Feeling, like I'm touching the ceiling
When I'm with you I can't breathe
Boy, you do something to me “
I took off my clothes and jumped into the shower and started singing along with her
Me and her  : Listen my to heart go ba-dum, boo'd up
Biddy-da-dum, boo'd up
Hear my heart go ba-dum, boo'd up
Biddy-da-dum it just won't stop, it go
Ba-dum, boo'd up  “
She stopped singing and did not turn to face me , I was really afraid on her reaction I haven’t  spoken to Zoe for over a month , yes I’m coward like that , but I love this women with my all my heart her body started relaxing a bit and she breath out loud
Me : “ hi “ I said that holding her
Her : “sooo?  now we talking Langa ? “
Me : “ I’m sorry baby “  I whispered in her ear
She turned around she looked radiant ,  wow  that short red hair she is rocking suited her
Her : “ you sorry ?! “ ... I looked down , and what came next i was not expecting it, she slapped me , I looked at her and she slapped me again and again till I ducked ... yoo talk about crazy women
“ whole month Langa ... you don’t call ... you don’t text... you fuckin left me !!! “
She was mad I don’t blame her i acted like  coward shit mom warned me about this , I tried to hold her hands she yanked them away from me
Her : “ don’t touch me right now!!! “
Me : “ babe I’m sorry , I was a jack and i was coward ... if I can reverse the hands of time I would and do things right “
Her : “ you left me Langa ... you walked out on me ... out on us !!!!...you such pussy ” she was crying and the water was pouring over us
Me : “ I’m sorry nana ... I don’t know what came over me “  I was standing in corner with crazy women in front of me , I deserved every slap I got
Her : “ do you even still care about me?  ... do you even love me ? “
I did not expect this from her , Zoe is always on top of her emotions she does not break down and she never have doubt about herself ...
Me : “ I love you more than anything in this world Zoe , I’m really sorry that I hurt you ... I didn't mean too ‘... please baby hate me all  you want but never doubt how I feel about you ... “
She started hitting me “ you left me ... for weeks Langa ... why ?   why ? I hate you ... you broke me ...” she was hitting me on my chest with her hands and she was crying
Me : “ i m sorry I’m really sorry .... ” I held her hands she was crying shit now I just feel bad , I pulled her to me and hugged her , “ I’m truly sorry Zoe “  she wept on my shoulder
Me : “ I love you, I promise ill  never  walk out on you again “
Her : “ you hurt me Dlamini ... you drag me all the way to JHB AWAY FROM MY FAMILY TO FUCKIN WALK AWAY FROM ME !!! I HAD NO ONE !  “ she was screaming and crying ,  she said that with her head buried on my chest , I held her tight on my arms , I felt my tears also on my eyes ... I never want to see Zoe hurt like this , after a while of culming her down , I realized that we were both naked under running water and well Zoe body has always made my  blood hit up
I lifted her head for her to look at me , her eyes were puffy and she looked vulnerable
Me : “ look at me Madlamini “
Her big eyes came to contact with mine ,
Me “ I love you “ she did not respond but attacked me with kiss , wow easy tiger she was hungry for me , I could not help but return the hunger we had rough crazy sex in the shower,  on the floor of bedroom  and on our bed we had about 3 rounds she was resting her head on my chest and we were breathing heavily , wow that was one crazy make up sex 
Me : “ so I’m forgiven ? “
Her : not by a long short Mr “
Me : “ did you just use me ??? “
Her : “ it's bean a month without sex what do you think ? “
I chuckled
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[Mpume]
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“ how are my two favorite girls “ he smiled and Joy was busy touching the laptop screen  she was over excited to see her Father , she misses him so much , the bond that Joy and Lu created is just unbreakable on her birthday she woke up and she bust out calling out for Lu “ DADA “ and my big bear cried tears of Joy yep he may be hard nut but his all soft and mushy inside
Me : “ we miss you when are you coming back vele ? “
Me : “ hopefully this weekend baby I miss you too  “
Her : “ you said that last week “  Lu has been gone for almost two weeks now and I hate that I’m all alone in this house , while there is stocker out there busy harassing me , yes Thabo has been calling me ,sticking me on social media , following me and  sending me sms that he wants to talk to me  I have no idea were he got my cell phone number from , ow well he is after all an attorney and he can trace any body , I just feel like he has death wish because if Lu finds out about this all hell will break loose , I decided to take sick leave from work , because mentally I was not fit enough and I constantly fear about Joy safety  so working at home this week was ideal for me.
Him : “ I’m sorry baby , but you  know my line of work  there is never a time frame of when I will complete the mission “
Me : “ i know ... I know “ I looked down
Him : “ you tempered with the security system baby why ?? is everything alright ?  “  I maxed up the security system at my house I did not think that Lu will find out shit what now ...
Me : “ what ? “
Him : “ so when are  you going to tell me what bugging you? you have been a bit off this past week's “
Me : “ I’m ok ..." he raised his eyebrow
me : ok  baby , i just have this unsettled feeling nje “
Him : “ you lying Nompumelelo  must I fuck it out of you now  ? what’s going on ? “
I held my mouth , yep Lu can act and speak very barbaric at times , I still have not told him about my encounter I had with Thabo a month ago , i know he was going to loose it so I lied for the sake of just allowing this things to settle down,  the last time I told him about Thabo in cape town he lost it , but from the way Thabo is acting now I have no choice but to tell Lu , I’m just planning to tell him as soon as he gets back though I don’t want to bother him while his miles away
Me : “ babe you can not speak like that Joy is around “
Joy : Dada “  she was busy kissing this screen
Lu : “ I miss you angel , “ lu started  kissing the screen too , he looked at me and I can tell that he's not buying my act ok grate , no more video calls until he comes back because I can not keep on lying to him
Joy and Lu continued to have conversation of their own until  he finally said goodbye, I miss him like crazy and I hate his line of work , I mean he qualified assassin and it's just a dangerous job I pray that he comes back to me, I looked at my baby who look so much like me this days , with her big fro and deep dimples,
Me : “ its way past your bedtime Ms “ she started acting up I guess she did not want to say goodbye to her father , I just bath her and feed her and she was off to lala land , I  catched up on work for a while , I was seating on my bed with Joy sleeping peacefully on my side , I have been sleeping with her in my bed because I have been having a bad feeling about Thabo resurfacing have you ever get the feeling that somebody is watching you .. well ya that how I feel I can not wait for Lu to get back.
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