The Break Trough

Part 125

[Cici ]

It Sunday and all I want to do is go to church and maybe the lord can give me answers about my life, I'm terrified of the man that I live with and I want out , it's just bloody harder than I thought I have been having migraines this days and it could be because I'm always stressed , I have wanted and waited all my life to have a relationship with zweli but sometimes we just have to be careful on what we wish for .
upon arriving in church it was empty I just wanted to pray first before anybody gets here so I was right in time I went to the front and kneeled in front of the altar I sigh , I was lost of words ,I cried and looked up
"Lord ....god i come today praying for peace. The devil comes in many forms. I pray that you devour the hold he has on my heart and release me from his wrath. You are the alpha and omega and i trust in you ..."
I head foot step and I looked up and too my surprise I saw Nkonzo walking in he had his phone in his hand and busy humming a song
He looked up and saw me Kneeling there , I quickly wiped my tears and looked down
Him : "hi! ... I'm sorry.... did I disturb you? "
Me : " aah .. no ... , "
I stood up and looked the other way , I feel like everyone can see my pain, my bruises ,I can not handle anybody pity right now so let me avoid eye contact and just walk away , I took my bag while he cleared his trout
Him : " I'm glad someone is early so come help me set up the sound system "
Me : " im sorry but I have to go "
Him : " this is the only place you'll find comfort , and if you leave now you giving the devil the upper hand , so please help me prep up "
I looked down
Me :" " I know nothing about the sound system "
Him : " i'll show you ... please "
I just nodded ... Nkonzo is very open person , funny and does not talk or act like a pastor's son , I did not do much of helping I just set by the piano and looked at him , we talked most about general stuff until he started humming my favourite song by Tamela Mann - take me to the king
"Take me to the king
I don't have much to bring
My heart is torn in pieces
It's my offering
Take me to the king " I paused when I heard the sound of the piano
Him : "wow Siswati what a voice " I did not realised that I was even singing
Me : " its just a shower voice stop playing with me "
Him " sing with me please " I looked away and he started to sing
Him "Truth is I'm tired
Options are few ..... " I could not help but join in this song touched me so much , it felt like it was speaking to me directly
me / him : "I'm trying to pray
But where are you?
I'm all churched out
Hurt and abused
I can't fake
What's left to do? "
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[Portia ]

I live with Sindy but I feel like she is avoiding me in ways I really do not know , she always has somewhere to go , and hardly say anything to me ,
I was visiting my father this weekend , frankly I was avoiding Sindy also she just too judgemental nje , I'm trying so hard not to fight with her because I believe she will bring out the Zweli issue I don't know what happening between me and him we just have sex and he promise me forever but he does not show any signs of leaving Cici , do I want them to break up? maybe a small part of me does but I prefer fucking Zweli with no attachment his just one sick busted and to be serious with him will be very stressful
" hay pumpkin you ready for our date " my dad walked in my room looking all handsome as always , I stood up and hugged him , we were going out on a date , I'm so huge I can't even see my feet so dad forced me to take a walk with him and go out we drove to the mall and did lot of walking while we bought glossaries and house essentials
.him : " so have you fixed things up with your sister ?"
I was stuffing my face with all sort of junk , we were at burger king and I was tired
Me : " we don't talk like we use to , she just don't want to upset me ... so she just avoids me "
he looked at me under his glasses
me : " what ? "
him : " you still seeing that Msomi boy "
I shrug my shoulder
Him : " come on POPO ... really baby girl .. the boy gets you pregnant his making a fortune with his taxi business ... but still not willing to pay for damages ? is that the man you want raising my grandson ? ..."
I looked down , this was embarrassing my father is not a traditional person , but he know right from wrong .. I was not about to tell zweli what expected of him ... he should know mos.. right ? "
Dad : " you know I respect the women you grew up to be, I'm so proud of you but dating that guy will be your down fall my girl ... so think about your future you bringing a child to this world "
Me : " I'm not dating him" I mumbled to think about it dad was right
I'm forever going to be bound to Zweli since there is baby on the way .. I just don't know if I can leave him and raise this child on my own being a single parent is tough but do I need Zweli to be part of my life and this baby ... I sigh I need to talk to Zoe ... she know her brother more anyone ....
Dad : " hay you have my support I'm always going to be there for you and the baby ... yes the baby might need material things but most foremost it will need love ... I hope you ready to put this innocent soul first ...in few months time you going to be a mother ... all childish act will need to be thrown outside the window .. your focus and dedication must be given to this child ... just think about it "
My date with dad was great as always and he had a valid point when it comes to zweli and his behaviour ... i have two months to make this right before I give birth
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[Sindy ]