The Break Trough

Part 101

[Portia ]

This can't be , shit no...lord why me , why now , how and when did it happened ?.  I seat on the toiler seat and looked at the two lines that just made my head spin , I cried, laughed I wish I can scream ... This can not be fuck how can I be so stupid , shit how did this bullshit happened? ... I looked at my self in the mirror and I could not recognize the girl looking right back at me , my phone started ringing I looked at the caller I'd shame and guilt rushed over me  , I decided to switch my phone off , i went to my bedroom I and cried  , how am I going to face the world after this , as much as I cheated and slept with another man over and over again I still love Nkonzo he makes me so happy but I was greedy I wanted more , how do I tell the man that I love that I'm pregnant with another mans child , not just any other man my ex.
Nkonzo will never forgive me .
.
.
[Banzi ]

" don't do it man , Mpume needs you , you have too go back home now , re plan this whole thing it's to dangerous now ... " that was a text I received from langa ..
I hate it when langa becomes the voice of reason , shit I have a feeling that this mission will go south again ,already I have lost two man on this mission... every time we plan something, things do not go as planned I have ran out of plotting on how to kill this man , his a powerful drug lord and my mission was too wipe him out , being special force's can be tricky at times , I was OK being a hit man you know get paid to erase people regardless how , but since I was forced by the government to work for my country to remove any treat apposing  my country I need to be very district and not alarm the media that the killing was planned , I sank down and looked at my team
Me : go over this plan again '
Vuyo plan was crazy but we can pull it off ,
Vuyo :it will look like drug deal went wrong ... Go gun blazing " I nodded and my phone started ringing shit Mpume , I stood up , walked outside
Me : mama wakhe "
Her : lu ukuphi , ?
I kept quite she was mad really mad I have not called her for almost day and her tone says it all
Me : baby listen ...I.."
Her : lubanzi we have our traditional reunion tomorrow ukuphi ? "
Me : I'll make it back on time , please don't worry " she sniffed , aish what now I looked at my watch and shit I have less than 12 hours to do my job .
Me: I love you sthandwa sami , and I promise I'm on my way back "
Her : Lubanzi ..."
She was definaty crying now ,
Her : come back to me ... I need you ... "
I pleased my phone on my chest , I need to do this now
Me : I'll be home by morning ...I love you "
She sniffed
Her : I love you too"
Silence
Her : be safe OK ..."
Me : I will baby "
Mpume is the first women that knows my line of work , when I told her I thought she will run for the hills , but instead she loved me even more for trusting her and telling her, I loved that women so much that I never kept a secrete from her , I wiped my tear , and went back inside
Me : we doing this tonight , prepare your self's man " they looked at me as if I got shit on my face
Me :you know I hate repeating my self , so get moving " they scrambled up ...
.
.
.
[Zoe ]
I knocked again , and finally the door opened
" hallo Sisi how may help you "
She looked at me , I swallowed hard , I was not ready to do this , my hands started sweating and that pain in my chest started again
" uright Sisi"  she asked , she heard a
I welcoming look , but I just could not stand there I started walking backwards
Me : sorry I think ngidukile "
her : hayboo Sisi , Ima go "
I turn and walked away I opens my car
" Zola " his voice triggered something inside me , I stood there I didn't know if I should run or just cry
Him : Zola mtanami please don't go "
I'm a very strong person but my father is my weakness , I hate him so much , but always wished that I could have heard a better relationship with him , I was the apple of his eye , he spoiled me so much and showed me unconditional love , I wish when I fell in love he would have talked to me instead of disowning me and calling me names yes I was young and getting pregnant was a mistake then but no parent should resent and kick there kids out for making a mistake .
Him : for the past 5 days you have bean coming to my house and never get out of your car , but today you were willing to see me , please don't go , let's try and make the .most of it  "
I turned around and looked at him , he still as  handsome as ever , my father naves age, his close to 50 but still look like his on his mid 30's  , he smiled at me and I felt my eyes burning so I looked down  , I stood by my car
Him : I'm so sorry Zola , what I did was ....... "
Me : I don't want to talk about it please " he kept quite and looked away also , I thought this was hard for me , to him it was worse
Me : how are you feelling? "
He was wearing his track pants and T-shirt with running shoes
Him : I'm getting better , just taking it one day at a time "
I nodded
him : please walk with me , "
I looked at him
Him : Dr order's I need to do power walk three times a day for an hour or so , "
I nodded and folded my arms , while we walked around the block , we did not engage that much in any serious talk , i guess we avoided stepping on each other toes.
Him : doing your second year next year? "
I nodded
Me : you hired a new housekeeper "
Him : we'll its hard to find good help this days "  we spend 15 min of talking nothing serious  and of 45 min we were silent and just walking , I didn't know what to say and he clearly planned an I'm sorry speech that I was not ready to hear for now , after walking him back I drove to my house I was so glad that the house was empty Lang's mom went back to Lundi and I'm joining her tomorrow , I took a bath and got under bed covers ...I miss langa so much right now
.
.
.
[Pam ]

Him : how did the interview go ?" SbU said that jumping on the couch next to me in the seating room , it was his turn today to put the kids to bed ,
Me : your mom did not like any off them  "
Him : all of them ?"
I nodded and drank my wine , I was conducting an interviews for nanny for our kids today , someone who will help around , sbu never liked the ideas but I feell like I need to focus on my life nami a bit.
Me : I guess she is happy with baby seating " I could feel his eyes on me but I focussed on the TV that was on
him : yaa I guess so "
I took a sip
Him : so how many bottle of wine have you drank today? "
here we go again ... If I lie than it will be a huge fight if tell the truth again he will have my head.
I feel like I'm suffocating  this day , I'm a very secretive person and I do not brag about my problems so I have found comfort in alcohol Sbu and I have bean fighting about it , he works a lot and takes me to foreign countries to be his wife a baby mama, he so busy that I don't even know the man sleepping next too me . 
Me : two and half "
him : Pam ! "
me : Sbusiso please not now "
Him : wow , my mom is on the other room taking care of our kids and you drinking like a fish "
Me : guess I've  also failed as mother to our kids right?  "
Him : " I don't mean that ...baby "
Me : what do you mean vele ? , every time you get home you have to complain about something , my cooking , my drinking and my duties of being a mom , hayboo "
He ran his hands on his head , I took my glass and stood up stumbling a bit , I could feel his eyes burning on my back , I went upstairs threw myself on the bed  , I was so lazy to Barth or change , vele even if I do it or don't , its not like Sbu give me some, its just few kissed and he sleeps , I have even stopped trying , he always blames it on work and being forever tired  , I need to build my career also this stay at home waiting for man business allowed Sbu to start walking all over me.
I was slowly dozing off when I felt him taking off my shoe's, my jean , bra and top he pulled me to get under covers and he kissed my forehead, and cuddled me.
.
.