Want

Chapter 21

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of abortion, manipulation

The rivulets of a deep red almost pungent liquid dripped down the wall. Five in the morning was distasteful for wine yet she kept downing it to the point where she was sure she was going to end up getting alcohol poisoning or even worse, liver failure. She shuddered at the thought but even then she still felt as if her life was a fucking mess. Grabbing a ratty old cloth from the kitchen counter she mopped up the wine-stained walls and huffed slightly at the crunchy sensation under her feet were the remnants of some glass she missed when she tried to clean it up half-cut before. Kian hadn't been back since but she was once again reminded of him by a petal of one of his infamous black roses, fuck him, she thought, actually fuck him. Picking up her phone she sighed slightly and closed her eyes, her gut instinct was to phone him but she knew he wouldn't answer, he was messing with her head, it was more than that, he was messing with her head and her body because she always ached for his touch. A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts, she opened it seeing Fletch standing there with a box.

"Get lost Fletcher" she grumbles and tries to slam the door but fletch was quick to shove his foot in the gap "I mean it-"

"What has gotten into you?" he questions in concern, Jac just groans in annoyance "Actually you know what I don't even want to know, here's your stuff from your desk, I was told to give it to you"

"Thanks" she mumbles and takes the box, he rolls his eyes at her slamming the door in his face

"Bastard" she mutters as Fletch drove off, why was she actually taking out her awful mood on him when it should be Kian she was taking it out on?

Opening the box she huffed pulling out a picture of Emma, it was almost as if she was tainting her relationship with her own daughter. Her brain was damned, no it was more than that, her brain was isolating her and she knew it. For what though? For falling for Kian, for wanting to fuck him, wow, this really was an interesting concept for her. Not one to fawn over a man and here she was letting one take over her life and control it in a way she was very uncomfortable with. She let it happen though because she felt as if she didn't have a choice.

This is Kian's phone-

"Ugh!" she shrieks and the temptation to launch her phone at the wall where the light pink wine stains were was too tempting, yet again what had that wall done to her?

...and if that's Jac, please stop-

"Fuck you"

Was it really necessary for him to add that on the end so all and sundry would know he was seeing her? Fuck him, fuck him. Walking into the bathroom seemed like a menial distraction, her eyes darted over to the cupboard and she started cleaning. Why? Yet another distraction, reorganising, an attempt to forget the thoughts of desire and the thoughts of Kian. She was falling, more like falling face-first into the ground. Her eyes fell to a box in the back of the cupboard as she pulled everything out. Sighing in annoyance she frowned as she reached in the box but her mind got distracted by the sound of the front door going.

"Jac?"

"In here," she says and Kian enters the bathroom, he frowns at all the products on the floor and he raises his eyebrows at the box Jac was holding

"Why have you got a pregnancy test?" he questions, his eyes blazing into hers and Jac opens her mouth "Jac answer me, why have you got a pregnancy test?"

"I-"

"Have you taken it" he states, he was internally panicking and Jac frowns as he swiped the box off her, he opens it and sees a positive pregnancy test "Jac"