Who Will I Choose? 21+

*50*

Oh god..

"Hey guys" Yoongi said

Yoongi met me gaze and he smiled a little.

I wasn't ready for this... I'm dreaded it. To me, it felt to sudden. We did just break up a couple days ago. I needed time to think what I wanted. But that's not happening.

"Hey tay" Yoongi said

"Hey" I said

I got up from laying down and sat on the lounge chair. Everyone was minding their own business and not looking at us. They are went into the ocean while I sat there uncomfortable with yoongi.

"Your wearing the bathing suit I got you. It looks really good on you" he said.

"Thanks. You got good taste" I said

Yoongi giggled

We were silence

I chugged my 1st beer and then opened the second one.

"Want one?" I asked Yoongi

"Uh sure" he said

I handed him a beer and I sat down next to him. He opened the beer and just stared at the sand.

I met V's gaze and he smiled. He kept doing a hand gesture for me to talk to yoongi.

I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed.

"So, what have you been doing?" I asked

"Same stuff... school, music, helping mom. That's about it" he said

"Yeah and talking about you every minute" Hoseok said

Yoongi looked at Hoseok with an annoyed expression. Hoseok saw his face and turned around.

"What have you been saying about me?" I asked

*sigh* " um.. how much I miss and love you. That I wish that never happened to us. Wondering what your doing. Thinking if you are okay. And also wondering if your thinking about me. Stuff like that" he said

"Oh" I said

Yoongi took another sip of his beer before turning towards me. His eyes looked like he was going to cry again.

"Um.. Tay will you give me another chance to make it up to you?" He ask

How do I even answer this? I do want him back.. but I also need time for myself to figure what I want. I'm not going to rush back into it... if I'm not fully 100%.

"Yoongi, this is just too soon.. we just broke up not to long ago. After what we have been through for the past couple months.. I can't just run into it just yet. I'm still hurting. Lie. I want to give us another try... but I need time to think. As much as I want to say yes right now... I need to figure out what I want. I'm still in love with you.. but what if I take you back and all this stuff happens again? We will be where we are now. And I don't want that to happen again. Can we just be civil and give us sometime? See if we are meant for eachother. Cause right now.. it seems like we are just so toxic. " I said

"But.. I want you and need you. I can't live without you tay. Please I'll change.  I want us together. To start a family and get married. That's how much in love I am with you." He said

"I know yoongi, but if you love and care for me. You would at least do this for me." I said

"I understand" he said

Yoongi looked out into the ocean trying not to cry infront of me.

"Please don't cry" I said

"That's all I've been doing.. I haven't stopped. Your my heart. My heart only beats for you. I'd figure me coming here.. we'd be okay and to back to where we were. But I guess that's not going to happen" he said